Thikaana

Forty Six

Sana had been sitting like that wrapped up in his lap for the past half hour now as he was slowly and every so softly rubbing her back with circles. Her face was sticky and wet but so so beautiful right now and it was pressed on his shoulder with her eyes closed and this constant beautiful serene smile plastered on her lips as he loved her.

Whatever she was feeling was inexplicable to put in words and she had never known a happiness or a feeling like this. The kind of euphoric warmth that she was feeling, it was something else altogether. It was everything above and beyond she could have thought to feel. She had never known a feeling like this before. It was not like his confession was news for her. She always knew he loved her. Love or no love, whatever he felt for her, it was more than enough for her and more than what she could ask for and hence she never asked him to say it back to her, or confess because she knew. His words, his care, his gaze, his touch, his kisses, they all screamed of his love for her and what she was to him, so love or no love, it was everything for Sana but him saying it today, with all those affirmations, with his heart on a plate for her, with opening up his entire life up to her like that, with professing his love with so much conviction and power, it had blew her away. It had shaken her entire being and washed her away and filled her with such peace, such unimaginable happiness that she felt like she was repeatedly losing her mind.

Everything with him was so surreal and so special. Every time they spent time together, every time they crossed a barrier, it felt so special to her, it brought her closer and closer to him but this today? It surpassed everything. She suddenly felt that it had brought them closer in a different way altogether. She had never felt closeness like this before. She suddenly felt that it was them, always them. It felt like she belonged to him, in a way she hadn't ever belonged to any relation in her entire life. It was like his confession, his love for her, brought them close in a way she could never have imagined. Her heart was still hurting badly because of everything he told her. his father's loss, his own loss, the pain and suffering he went through, it was constantly tearing her apart. She couldn't deny the pinch and the pain she went the moment he mentioned another woman and what he had with her. she had always known that he had a past. His mother and he had mentioned it a few times and not in a nice way so she was aware that it was something that was painful and bad but she had no idea it could have been this bad. The pinch in her heart was there till he told her what she meant for him and what all he feels for her. that took the pinch away entirely. It all became insignificant. The fact that he was going to have a child with that woman, did affect her more than she was willing to accept but his love for Sana, took that pain away too because the way he opened his heart for her, let her in on everything that he had shut out for so long, that itself meant everything to Sana and the fact that despite going close to sharing a child with her, he still couldn't feel for her the way he does with her, it was everything for her. Her heart broke endlessly thinking of him losing a child he could have had but at the same time, she knew that the girl never loved or cherished or honored him for the man he was. She never really knew what she had and she was grateful for that or else, how would she find her Sidharth, ever. The kind of pain and loss he had gone through was pulling at her heart, and despite that, he chose to stand by Sana in the battle she's currently fighting.
Despite the betray he went through, he chose to trust her. He chose to tolerate Akshay for however long it takes, just for her. Despite his own pain, he became like a sponge for her so that she pours in all her fears and worries and heartbreaks in him to absorb. Her heart was uncontrollable for this man. It was going absolutely wild for him. She had never felt so insanely for anything or anyone ever before. His loss was hurting her. She so wished she could go back in time and do something to relieve his pain. Love was so strange at times. She was hurting hearing him speak of another woman, and of the possibility of having a child with her and knowing that if that would have happened, she would never have gotten him yet, knowing that he went through unimaginable pain was enough for her to forget about her own pinch and make everything okay for him. Just to take his pain away. Love was a crazy crazy thing. Making her feel so much all the time, with such strong intensity that it overtook her senses and her entire being, completely. Funny how he called her his magic, but in reality, what he didn't know was that it was him who was her magic. She never knew she would ever get out of that cycle she grew up in, or ever be able to break free from the relationship she had forcefully been bound in, or ever feel so magically and so strongly about someone, but she did. All because of him. he was the magic in her life.