Thikaana

Thirty Six

Sidharth watched her quietly walk away towards the other end of the living room close to the window silently speaking on the phone. He wondered who that was. His thoughts were going to places he didn't want them to go, especially right now. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair pushing them back. Sana's back was to him and his eyes couldn't move away from her today. After everything they had just shared a few hours ago, he couldn't stop looking at her. her expressions, her face, her swollen lips, every little movement, every flicker of her eye, every time she pushed her hair back, every little smile, every time her cheeks heated up sensing his gaze, it was all driving him insane. He felt such maddening love for this girl that he felt it was consuming and owning him bit by bit. every inch and every single cell of his entire being was being burnt and struck by her. All of her. The way she always gave in to him, the way she let him own her entirely, with that blind faith & trust, she didn't know, but it drove him insane. Knowing that everything they shared, was new to her, knowing that she had no prior experience with physical intimacy, the way she always closed her eyes & let him take over, it tickled his very soul. He was at a loss of words with her & with the trust she always showed in him. despite being so naïve, so shy, she always gave herself to him since the first day and it meant everything to him. The kind of love & arousal he felt for her, it couldn't be explained by a few terms or types of intimacies. It was beyond it all. He wanted to care for her, guide her, protect her like a little child, he wanted to have fun with her like a friend, and he wanted to own her heart, body & soul in every way possible. He was aroused by her protectively, physically, emotionally, sexually and in every other way. It was truly surreal for him because he had never felt such strong desires for an individual in so many ways.
Since his gaze was constantly fixated on her, he could see how she was repeatedly tucking her hair behind her ear as she spoke, and how she turned to the side a little bit & he could see a frown etched on her beautiful face. It bothered him. He was observing how her hands were moving every now and then as if in a deep discussion or argument or fight with someone, who knew? It was now getting to bother him a little bit. Firstly, he wanted her to just be by his side, secondly, he wasn't liking how she seemed a bit off, thirdly, he didn't like the ideas his mind was giving him regrading who's phone call it could be. He bit the side of his thumb anxiously and before he could hold it in more, he let out a "Sanaa" before he even realized.
The moment she heard his voice from the other end, she instantly moved her head to his side ad her eyes met with his equally restless ones. He gestured her using his hand asking who was it. She shook her head and gestured him that she'll be back. He nodded and let out an exasperated sigh. He looked away & took his phone out to check the news in order to put his mind off things. He could hear his mother and Meena talking from inside the kitchen and he decided to go around & check on them. He stood up, setting his hair & as he did, she slightly turned her face and her eyes met his and she gave him a small, nervous smile. He returned it with a smaller smile & went inside to check up on his mom.
"Arey mom kya kar rahay ho aap log itna? Aa jao na bas andar. Come out, sit with me. Yahan aapke sath time spend karne aaya hoon, aapko kitchen mai rakhne k liye" he whined. His mother chuckled.
"Haan haan baba I'm just coming. Tu chal andar. Sana andar hi hai?"
"Umm haan wo she's on a call" he sounded a bit agitated.
"Ohh acha acha. Bas tub hi chal k beth, mai arahi hoon paanch minute mai. Jaa" his mother nudged his shoulder till he finally huffed and moved out.
He came out of the kitchen and he saw that Sana was just putting the phone down as he walked inside the lounge. Finally. He started walking towards the sofa and she lifted her face and walked towards him, smiling. He smiled back & extended his hand for her to come. She did.
"Kon tha baby? You sounded serious. Everything okay?" he asked softly caressing her cheeks.
Sana did seem a bit red in the face and a bit flustered & he didn't like that. She instantly took a hold of his hand and wrapped her own around it kissing the back of his hand and smiling up at him.
"Koi nahi tha, it's all good. Aap pareshan mat ho, I'm fine" she gave him a bright smile, trying to ease him up.
"But still tha.."
"Aa jao bacho, garma garam chaaye and some snacks, aur ye mazedaar halwa are all here. Jaldi se aa jao dono" his mother quipped in just when he was about to ask her who it was. They both turned to her and Sana swiftly took her hand out of his and moved a little to the side. Sana stood up and walked closer to his mother and sat next to her, helping Meena with the plated and everything.
"Haye Rabba Aunty ye sab kuch?? Aap kyun har baari itna sab kar lete ho aur mujhe ek minute mai mehmaan jesi feel de dete ho. Mene nahi aana ab agar aap ne har baari ye karna hai tou" she pouted cutely looking at his mother. Sidharth was really fascinated by the confort she had developed with his mother in such a short time & he could see how much his mother too adored her. He chuckled seeing her demand to his mother so comfortably.
"Chup kart u. Itna sab kuch nahi hai. Bas ghar ka hi thora bohat samaan hai beta. Aur yahi baat tou mai bhi tujhe keh sakti hoon na k har dafa kuch le kar aana zaroori hota hai kya? Aise hi khaali haath nahi aa sakti kya tu, hmm?" his mother retorted back. Sana giggled and bit her tongue.
"Arey wo tou aapko acha lagata tha issi liye le kar aayi aaj apke liye. Acha chalo choro wo sab ab mujhe ye sab khana do bhi sahi. Itni bhook lag gayi hai iss sab ko dekh kar" her mouth watered. There were actually so many snacks there. There was some samosas, chakli, some mithai, pakoray and the halwa she had brought. Sana bent down and picked the plates up one by one, giving one to Sidharth. He was too lost in her and seeing her be so comfortable around his mother & in her house, it soothed his heart. Seeing them with each other, he was at peace that when he's away for his flight, he wouldn't have to worry about Sana anymore. They all were in random conversations but Sidharth's mind was still stuck to that phone call. He wanted to know who it was and what they were saying because he could see that she wasn;t very happy during the call.
"Sidhaarth, aap halwa chaye k sath lo ge ya baad mai?" her sweet voice broke his thoughts. He looked up from the plate & saw her sitting down on her knees next to the trolley looking up at him with expectant eyes. He smiled at her and instantly pulled her up from her hand & gestured her to sit back on the sofa.
"Abhi chaye pi k leta hoon sweetheart, tu beth tab tak araamse aur khud bhi khaa" his voice was sweet but authoritative. Sana smiled back and went back to enjoying her own plate full of snacks. She was actually so hungry. With all the emotions, the nervousness of him leaving, and the little moment with him, all of it had really taken up on her energies & she was famished so she ate her heart out, complimenting everything a million time & engaging his mother in random conversations. He was just quietly soaking it all in and quipping in between every now & then.
"Abhi tabiat kesi hai bache teri? Uss din Sidharth yahan tha when he left to pick you up from work. He told me you weren't well? Tou off le leti na bache" his mother spoke to her and he scoffed rolling his eyes. Sana glared at him, knowing well what was coming.
"Nahi nahi ye chutti kese le sakti hain bhai? Aapko pata nahai? Inho ne chutti kar li agar, tou desh k chalne mai rukaawat aa sakti hai" he spoke seriously staring at her. His mother chuckled and Sana just rolled her eyes at him.
'Ahaaaaan kya hai Sidharth? Dekho lo isko Aunty. Ho gayi na ghalti, bas bhi kar de ab. Tab se mere peeche hi parh gaya hai" she whined to his mother who was loving their banter. She could see the kind of comfort they had with one another. Seeing them like this, nobody could say that they had just met a few months ago.
"Nahi nahi mai aapke kahan oeeche parh sakta hoon, aap tou hamesha sahi hi Hr kaam karti hain. Ghalat tou hum hotay hain bhai" he smiled sarcastically, biting into his samosa.
"Kha lo pehle araam se. Khanay pe tou aise ghussa nikaal k khaata hai jese koi iska khana le kar bhaag jayega" she huffed. His mother burst out laughing.
"I have to agree to that. Sidharth araam se khaya kar na. Tujhe kitni dafa kaha hai mene" his mother spoke. He simply rolled his eyes at both the women & continued stuffing his face with the food on his plate. Sana was pouring tea for his mother & herself when he spoke \
"Oye Baby. Laa, mujhe bhi chaye aur sath thora halwa bhi daal de na please" he spoke charmingly.
Sana's hands however stopped at the "Baby". She softly gasped & her cheeks heated up the slightest bit. This was the first time they both were around his mother like this, in a much lighter and relaxed environment & she still hadn't had the talk with his mother. She was dying to thank her & tell her what she finally did with her advice. She wasn't sure if Sidharth had already told her yet or not but since she had found this comfort & bond of her own with her when he was in Milan, she felt the need to tell it to her on her own. So him addressing her like that in front of his mother was really something for her. Sidharth, however was as normal as he could be & he didn't even realize why she was so quiet and flustered all of a sudden. His mother too was extremely normal as she kept speaking to Sidharth generally. Sana got a hold of herself, grabbed a bowl and filled it with Halwa excitedly handing it to him. Finally. He smiled at her excitement and chuckled softly
"Upar uth k beth jaa sweetheart" he spoke
"haan haan , aap khao naa" she spoke like an excited kid. His mother too laughed softly.
"Oh My God! Sana? Wow. This is so so good Baby. Ye tu mere liye dubara bana rahi hai once I come back. It's amazing" he rambled as soon as he finished a bite. It truly was excellent and more so, because she had specially made this for him, pouring in all her love in it. he saw how her eyes instantly lit up like an excited kid when he said that. His mother too smiled widely seeing that. Her happiness truly was infectious. Sidharth snuck a quick glance at the time. He wanted to spend some more time here. With her here, it was all the more special and different.
Sana was asking his mother different recipes while he sat their sipping his tea and enjoying her be so carefree. Sidharth wanted to take her in a corner, kiss her senseless and tell her what she was doing to him and how difficult was he finding it to leave her behind for three days and go.
"Tum bacha log betho mai zara Meena ko bata k aati hoon k cheezain kahan sambhaalni hain. Sana beta tujhe kuch sath le kar jana hai inn mai se?" his mother stood up as Meena took the trolley back and asked Sana.
"Pakoray" Sana spoke excitedly. His mother chuckled and nodded.
"Mai usko keh kar pack karwa deti hoon" she went inside the kitchen.
"Baby" his raspy voice took her attention.
"Haaye Ek minute ruko Sidharth bas abhi aayi" she quickly ran inside the kitchen, frustrating him.
"Abey par kahan jaa rahi hai baby?"
"Bas aaaayiii" she shouted from inside.
Sana really needed to speak to his mother and thank her. She didn't want to do it in front of him. It was their moment, it was their bond, it was something that brought them together & closer so she wanted to do it on her own. She came inside the kitchen and saw his mother shifting the leftover pakoras in a plastic box for her to take while speaking to meena to sort the rest of the things. Sana smiled widely.
"Arey Beta tu kyun aagayi? Luch chahiye tha kya bache?"
"Nahi nahi bas wese hi agayi." Sana smiled widely.
"Aap kya kar rahay ho? Kuch help kar doon?"
"Nahi mere bache, thank you. It's all done bas. Meena will keep everything aur ye mai bas tere liye pakoray daal rahi thi. Tu yaad se ye le jana, theek hai?"
Sana nodded and smiled at her.
"Haye Meena Didi thank you aap ne itne mazay k pakoray banaye k mai sath ghar bhi le kar jaa rahi hoon" she spoke happily thanking the house help. The smile that came on her face was priceless.
'Sach Didi? Aap ko achay lagay? Mai aap k liye dubara bhi bana doongi" the middle aged woman spoke happily.
"Done" Sana squealed. Meena sorted the things and left for her quarter, closing the back door behind her. Sana breathed.
"Aaja bache, let's go inside." His mother gestured her to leave.
"Uhh haan bas ek minute Aunty" Sana released another breath & as soon as his mother turned to listen to her she came and hugged her, wrapping her hands around her. That definitely took her by surprise and she instantly hugged Sana back, lightly rubbing her back.
"Sana? Bache kya hua? Are you okay?" she asked in a concerned tone.
Sana closed her eyes, and sighed.
"Thank you" Sana whispered, hugging her tighter.
His mother frowned slightly, she had an idea of what this was about but she was still unsure.
"Kis liye bache?" she whispered back, rubbing her back lovingly. Sana sniffled lightly and finally moved back. She looked at her with her slightly red nose and filled up eyes but with a content smile on her lips.
"Sana, kya ho gaya beta?" she lightly cupped her cheek.
Sana grabbed her hand and placed a kiss at the back of her hand, just like she always did with Sidharth. His mother smiled warmly at that.
"Har cheez k liye Thank you. Aapko pata bhi hai, what you've done for me?" she whispered looking into her eyes blinking back her tears.
"You became a place of comfort and solace for me when I was so broken, so alone & when I didn't even know if Sidharth will even give me a second chance or not. Pata hai jis din mai uske ghar se aayi thi? And you called me up suddenly & said k you're coming over? Haye Rabba sach bataun jaan nikal gayi thi meri ek dam. Mene socha hogaya Siyaapa. Abhi aap aao ge aur meri class lo ge k aapke baitay ko itna hurt kar dia mene. Pata hai kitna darr gayi thi?" she blinked innocently at her, pouring her heart out, once again.
His mother was just so touched by this girl & by every little gesture of hers. She was listening to her intently.
"But you? You chose to be the kinder person & the giver that you are. Aap aaye aur mujhe ek dam se apni baahon mai sambhaal liya ek chote bache ki tarah. Itna comfort, itna pyaar, itni apnaaiyat di, ye jaante huay k meri waja se aapka beta kitna hurt tha. You guided me, you showed me what the right path & the right thing to do would be. Aap ne samjhaya k dil ki kese sunte hain aur do raasto mai se ek kese chunte hain. Aap ne ye samjhaya k sahi raasta kon sa hota hai, hum kese dhoondhte hain. Uss ek raat mai when we sat & ate together, aap se pata hai kitna close hogayi? Aise laga jese aap ko kab se jaanti hoon because you gave that warmth & love to me. You made me feel like I was a part of your life. Aur sab se important" she breathed nervously.
"Aap ne mujhe apni Zindagi ki sab se important, aur meri zindagi ki sab se important cheez bhi di" she held her hand tighter & had a watery smile on her face. His mother too smiled slightly, encouraging her to go on.
"Apna Beta" Sana smiled, clasping her hand tighter.
His mother slightly gasped & then her eyes had this slight wetness.
"Yes. Aap agar uss raat mujhe apna beta uss tarah na dete aur mujhe ye realize na karwaate k who he has become for me, & what I want from my life, so I may have ended up doing some stupidity. So uss way mai tou aap ne hi diya na mujhe apne beta?" she spoke baring her heart out in front of the woman.
"Sana..beta" his mother finally spoke in a low voice. She was truly speechless. This girl was actually something else.
"Kuch mat bolo. Bas mera thank you le lo, aur promise karo k aap aise hi mere sath raho ge aur mujhe guide karoge jab jab aapka beta akdu banay ga aur mujhe tang karay ga? Kyunki jitna bhi tang kar le wo, lekin mujhe chahiye wo.. Pyaar karti hoon mai usey" she blinked at her.
Although Sidharth had told this to her already, but Sana especially coming & confiding in her like this, and letting her know of her feelings, it meant everything to her & it opened up her heart for this little girl in a way that she hadn't expected.
"Sana..mera bacha.. Sach?" his mother's voice cracked as she caressed her face lovingly. She was so overtaken with love for this girl. Her heart was so pure. She couldn't believe how lucky her son just got.
Sana smiled widely and let her happy tears fall out freely & hugged her back. Tighter this time, snuggling her face in her shoulder.
"Sach kya ek dam sach. I never thought that coming here, I'd not just find him but also you. Aap se pehli baar jab bemaar thi, tabhi mil kar itna apna sa laga par when he was in Milan, tab tou bas aap ek dam se itne zada apne ban gaye. Aur haan, I do love him with everything in me & I want him in my life. Mene apne mumma ko bhi keh diya hai aur ... Sidharth ko bhi" she breathed excitedly.
His mother gasped happily, hugging Sana closer to her. She was so happy. Her son had already been through so much & every time she saw him living his life like this, it tore her heart. Seeing him having no hopes of a future or a relationship, it broke her heart into a million pieces. So now that this angel had literally walked in his life out of nowhere & turned it upside down for the absolute best, she couldn't believe it. She was short of words. Her heart was so full. She moved away and cupped Sana's face in both her hands and smiled at her, wiping her face. Sana's cheeks were the slightest bit red but she gave her shy smile to her.
"I'm so so so happy to hear this mera bacha. Tujhe nahi pata tu ne mujhe kitni khushi di hai. Kitni pyaari hai tu. Jab tujhse mili thi, tabhi samajh agaay tha kyun Sidharth tujh se door nahi reh paata. And when I came to your house, I saw how torn you were. Tu bilkul mujhe apne bache ki tarah lagi and I just wanted you to fight this battle & come out stronger because I saw that strength in you. Tera pyaar saaf dikh gaya tha mujhe teri aankho mai uss din. Par I wanted you to realize it on your own. I'm so happy you chose to fight bache, mera pyaar aur meri blessings hamesha tere sath hain. Itna pyara bacha hai tu. You've brought so much happiness & light in not just his, but my life too" she smiled placing a kiss to Sana's forehead.
"Aur aap dono meri life mai. Sachii bohat grateful hoon that I came here warna aap dono kese milte mujhe?" she spoke cutely.
"Aunty abhi bhi bohat darr lagta hai mujhe. I've told Mumma but abhi sab itna asaan nahi hai. Aapko pata hai na how they forced me into this, they'll try thir level best to make me stay in it. Mujhe darr lagta hai Sidharthk ghusse se" her tone changed & her voice cracked the slightest bit.
His mother sighed and caressed her cheek lovingly. She understood. Of course she did.
"bache, I know it'll be hard. It's not going to be an easy battle par tujhe tou pata hai na k tujhe kya chahiye?" she asked her lovingly, looking in to her eyes. Sana nodded instantly.
"Tou bas, tujhe himmat nahi haarni hai. Aur hum hain nab ache tere sath. Sidharth ghusse mai aksar bohat kuch kar aur bold eta hai jo wo mean nahi karta but just know, he's always got your back, hmm? Tujhe kabhi akela nahi chode ga wo" she looked in to her unsure eyes with conviction. That was what Sana needed to hear. She nodded her head and hugged her again.
"Dekha? Kahan tha na? Aap hamesha himmat de dete ho" she smiled. His mother stroked her hair lovingly & was just about to respond when they heard him shouting from the lounge .
"Sana? Kahan chali gayi hai yaar? Mom? Where are you guys?" he sounded impatient & agitated. Sana giggled as she moved away from his mother.
"Chal. Aa gaya tera bulawa. Ab chalet hain isey pehle wo yahan aake tujhe khench k le jaye" his mother chuckled rolling her eyes at her son. They both knew he was very much capable of doing that. Sana instantly wiped her face clean and set her hair back. The last thing she wanted was for him to worry. They both walked out a minute later absolutely casually chit chatting. He looked up from his phone & frowned at them both. He saw her face & his frown deepened.
"Where were you both? Kya hua?" he addressed Sana.
"Haaye mere laddduuu kuch nahi hua hona kya hai mai aunty ki help karne gayi thi par wahin unse baatein karne khadi hogayii. Sorrryyy naaa ab mu mat phulana, pleaseeee" she squished his cheeks lovingly in her hand & tried distracting him. He narrowed his eyes & removed her hands from his face giving her a stare trying to gauge what was up. She instantly moved back and rolled her eyes at him.
"Acha wo chor ye batao naaa k Bachpan mai aap teeno mai se sab se zada shaitaan kon tha?" she addressed the both of them. Sidharth sighed and sat back a little relaxed, now that she was back & in front of his eyes. His mother chuckled.
"Kon ho sakta hai?" she said sarcastically looking at Sidharth. Sana too gasped.
"Haaye Rabba . Sidhaaarth kya kya karte they batao naaa" she clapped her hands together excitedly ready for story time. Sidharth chuckled & waited for his mother to begin with some famous childhood story of his. They were all engrossed in random childhood stories & fun banters but Sidharth's gaze was repeatedly going towards her. The phone call was still bothering him & the fact that she and his mother chose to spend so much time alone in the kitchen & then seeing her face, it was adding to his restlessness. He could tell something was up.