Thikaana

Chapter Nine

It was a quiet and warm evening. Sana took a shower and came out sitting on the sofa along with Sidharth. He was already sitting there doing something on his phone. He lifted his gaze from the phone lightly and looked at her. She looked fresh, calmer and so serene. She smiled lightly at him and so did he, retuning back to his phone. They were sitting in silence doing their own things, and talking occasionally. Yet, it felt so natural and so at home. Nobody could tell they had just met or barely knew one another. The silence was so soothing to both their hearts. Sana occasionally lifted her eyes stealing glances at him every now and then. He sat on the sofa with one leg folded and the other straight. One of his hands were folded across the back of the sofa and the other one held the phone. His veins and his muscular arms seemed so strong, so manly. Even his arms radiated strength and authority. The sunlight was falling over his face further accentuating his features and she couldn't help but notice the small strands of hair that were falling on his forehead. She suddenly wanted to run her fingers in his thick hair moving it back.
"Sidharth" she spoke softly taking his attention. He lifted his eyes up at her and raised his eyebrows.
"Wo aapki aaj phir chutti kharaab kar di na mene? I know aap itni lambi flight k baad late night pohnche aur atay hi mene apko tang kar dia, sorry" she pouted taking her lower lip softly in her teeth and completely tucking it in. He just looked at her. She seemed like an innocent baby who he wanted to grab and pull in her lap.
"Relax, aisa kuch nahi hai. I've told you earlier I don't really like going out. I like staying at home and just chilling. Mom k paas jata hoon that's it. I'll go see her soon, don't worry." He said.
"Matlab apka pakka koi aur plan nahi tha na aaj ka?" she asked. "Nahi baba, kuch nahi." He smiled at her. She relaxed.
"Do you wanna go out? I can show you around if you want. We can go out for a quick snack or coffee or anything?" he asked her. He really wanted to take her out, show her around and change her mood.
She instantly gasped and shook her head. "Nahi nahi, I ..i just want to stay here, mujhe kahin nahi jana. Maybe some other time" she whispered. He knew she was still scared.
"Come here" he said extending his arm towards her. She looked at him for a few seconds and then slowly moved closer to him on the sofa, both her hands tucked in her lap. She had a lose pony and a few strands of hair were covering her face. He softly tucked the hair behind her ears and spoke
"Dekho sweetheart, I know you're scared and rightfully so. Par see, aisay tu ghar mai chup kar tou nahi yahan reh sakti na? You have to step outside, you have to go to work, you have to face the world. Isn't it so? And I know you can and you will. You're so strong. Don't let this hamper your courage, hmm? Mai hoon na tere sath, I won't let anything wrong happen to you iske baad, you need to know that. Par as an individual, I want you to muster up your strength and make it your shield, hmm?" he yet again spoke to her heart and she just kept staring at him, smitten. She slowly nodded at his words, realizing how true they were. She couldn't just hide away in his house forever. She would have to get back to her life. She lifted her hands from her lap and slowly wrapped them around his bicep. He looked down at her small hands wrapped around his huge one and it did something to his heart. Her touch was so new, so hesitant but so comforting.
"Aap sahi keh rahay ho Sidharth, aur I know k aap ho aur aap kuch buran ahi honay do ge and I will go out there and face the world, mene chupna nahi seekha kabhi. Par bas aaj energy nahi hai, na mentally na physically. Aaj can we plzzzz just stay in here? Hum baatein karenge na, theek hai?" she looked at him smiling sweetly and boy did he just melt. He chuckled at her.
"Theek hai baba, nahi jatay aaj bahir. Yahin hain, is that ok?" he smiled at her wrapping his own hand around her little hands. She smiled back and nodded excitedly.
"Thank youuuuu, aap sach mai bohat achay ho" she grinned at him and he laughed.
"Acha wo choro, mai kuch banaun apke liye khane mai? Itni lambi flight se aaye ho tou ghar ka kuch acha sa khana bana doon?" she asked him sweetly removing her hands from his bicep. His heart was just not in his hold with this girl. She wasn't even realizing what she was doing to him. It was sheer torture because of the constant reminder of the harsh reality and the stark differences that existed between them. He sighed not wanting to think of those at least today. She needed him.
"Bilkul bhi nahi. Chup chaap yahin bethi raho. You need to rest. Itna sa mu hogaya hai in just one day. We'll just order something bahir se" he said sternly. Her smile just died down, she so wanted to cook for him. She didn't know why, but she wanted to feed him. She wanted to do something for him.
"Par I wanted to na. mujhe bhi kuch karna than a apke liye, mere tou ek k baad ek siyaape aapke sar gir rahay hain, I also wanted to cook you a nice meal" she pouted sadly at him. She was such a sweet sweet girl.
"Oye nautanki, relax kar. Itni bari baat nahi hai, and tujhe mauqa zaroor doonga to make me a nice meal I promise. Par aisay nahi, poori tyaari k sath, samjhi?" He said with a hint of smile.
"Acha listen, bohat shauq ho raha hai na to make me something, so ek kaam kar, 2 cup achi strong si chaaye bana kar laa do please. My head is hurting like fuck. I'd really like some tea right now" he smiled at her. She gasped.
"Haww haye. Apaks ar dukh raha hai? Tou peh;e kyun nahi bataya? Aap bhi pagal ho bilkul. Tab se bakwaas kiye jaa rahi hoon tab tou bola nahi, aur ab bata rahay ho. Pehle batate na. Zahir hai sar tou dukhe ga na, itni late aaye they raat, theek se soye bhi nahi aur mai tapak pari. Haye Rabba ruko abhi, mai abhi chaaye laati hoon yahin rehna" she blabbered nonstop without waiting for his response. He just listened to her amused. She was opening up so much & getting so comfortable around him that it felt like he was discovering a new side of hers each time. It warmed his heart but also bothered him. He wanted distance, this is not what he had in mind. He just smiled at her amused. She instantly got up to move towards the kitchen when he remembered something and instantly held her hand stopping her. She looked back at him questioningly.
"Sana" he spoke softly.
"Kya hua?" she asked moving towards him.
"Beth do minute, baat karni thi." He spoke seriously. She sat back waiting for him to continue so that she can go to the kitchen. Right now, she just wanted to make some tea for him and comfort him in whatever way she could.
"Wo..umm.. don't take me wrong, I don't even know if I have the right to ask you this or not.. par, is everything okay between you and your fiancé? I mean, both the times that I've seen you talk to him, you've been very..umm.. I don't know, very closed off and hesitant. Is it because you're not comfortable talking to him in front of me or there's something else? I may not know you that well yet, par I can make out when you don't seem okay, and I've not found you to be looking okay both the times. So, is everything good?" he said hesitantly. He wanted to ask her since the time she had ended the call. He had observed her, there was something off but he couldn't put his finger to it, but he didn't want to overstep and make her uncomfortable either.
Sana instantly pulled her hand back from his hold and visibly got tensed. She got up again, wanting to just escape from the topic.
"Uhh arey nahi, aisa kuch nahi hai.. wo actually wo yahan hota nahi hai na, and I'm also caught up in work and so is he tou humaari zada baat nahi ho paati aur jab hoti hai, so I don't tell him a lot of things because wo door beth k pareshaan hoga. Issi liye I kept this incident from him too. Jab aramse kabhi baat hogi ya milungi, tou I'll tell him" she tried smiling at him to normalize the whole thing.
"Sana, you don't have to explain any of that to me baba. You don't owe me any explanation. I just asked because I felt you seemed off. Par I'm glad aisa kuch nahi hai. Chalo ab jao, bring me a nice cup of tea" he smiled at her putting both his legs up on the sofa, crossing them and lying down with one hand below his head and the other on his stomach closing his eyes. She nodded and went to the kitchen. He opened his eyes and turned his head to quickly look at her, he could tell she lied straight through her teeth. He didn't want to push her to talk to him though. He knew he probably didn't have the right or the place in her life to know about something so personal. Plus, she had been engaged since two years, and had known the guy all her life, so she was bound to be happy, he was probably just over assuming. He closed his eyes.
Sana came in to the kitchen and looked up at him. How could this man understand her so deeply? How could he make it out from just two calls, that she didn't sound happy? What was this man. How could he touch her soul every time. This was a feeling Sana had never known or experienced. She had been used to of receiving & knowing things at their surface but this? She was not used to of this kind of intense connect where a man who was much older to her, who was so different and a stranger could speak to her soul in a way nobody ever had. He was making her feel things she never had. She took the tray and saw how his eyes were closed but his leg was continuously moving. He seemed deep in thought, but he looked so calm and beautiful. He didn't intimidate her when he was lying down so peacefully like this. She smiled and wanted to make him feel better. She kept the tray down & thought for a moment. She still didn't know if she could do that, but it was Sidharth. The man who comforted her & spoke to her and understood her in such a short time, the way nobody ever did. He always made sure to put her comfort first. That gave her courage. She went behind him and bent a little and touched his forehead softly with her fingers. Her touch was so soft & hesitant that it was barely there but the moment her fingers touched his skin, his eyes snapped open as if a current just hit him. She flinched seeing his reaction and moved her fingers back, still looking down at him. He kept looking at her from the same position, his eyes looking into hers, "Sana" he whispered.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.. wo aapka sar dukh raha tha na tou mene socha mai thora daba doon? Apko acha lagay ga.. if you don't mind?" she asked softly. She seemed scared, unsure. Mind? Did she even know how her soft fingers felt on his skin, it was like a current jolted him.
"Why would I mind? Naiki aur pooch pooch. Chal aja, achay se 15 minute daba" he smiled at her lying down comfortably.
"Oho nahi nahi, aisay nahi aap utho" she came forward grabbing him from the shoulder. "Yahan aisay peeche ho kar betho, chaye bhi tou peeni hai na" she smiled giving him the cup of tea. He just smiled at her and sat back up. This girl was doing things to him he couldn't understand. She went back & started pressing his forehead with her finger tips applying pressure. He sipped his tea and closed his eyes, she was a magician. Her cold fingers touching his forehead felt like a strange kind of high. "Bohat acha lag raha hai sweetheart, aisay please karti reh" he almost whispered. She smiled, and kept pressing his forehead. She had never done any such thing for Akshay, neither was she very touchy feely with him, yet with Sidharth every touch felt so comfortable, so natural. She wanted to do little things for him that she hadn't felt like doing for anyone before. This man was beginning to transform her heart in a manner she had never known.
A few minutes later he softly removed her fingers and grabbed her hands in his giving them a slight press. He was so touched by her gesture, he was in such a daze that he didn't know how to word his feelings.
"Bas kar sweetheart. Thank you so much Sana, that was amazing". He said bringing her hands forward by taking them above his head and pulling her towards him. She came forward and smiled at him "Haye itna tou kuch tha hi nahi, jitna aap mera karte ho uske agay ye tou kuch nahi" she smiled warmly at him. In another hour they left for her place & on the way back, Sidharth called up his own carpenter to her place along the lock. He sat there and made sure he got it fixed in front of his eyes, so that she can sleep peacefully.
"All sorted now, ab tou aramse soye gi na?" he asked her tucking her hair behind her ear, it had become a constant thing for him, it seemed like the safest option to keep touching her without too much of investments.
"Haaan all thanks to you. Haye Sidharth sachi thank you. Jitna bolu wo kam hai par thank youuuuuu" she stretched it at the end cutely and bent forward placing just her head lightly on his chest. What she didn't know was that her innocent comforting touches were melting him and his resolve constantly. They were raging an unstoppable war in his mind and heart.
"It's nothing, chalo, I'll leave now. you take care & sleep well, okay? Zada sochna mat ab. Just sleep. You're safe & you're strong. I'll see you soon, hmm? Khayal rakh sweetheart" he bent his face and placed a light kiss at the top of her head despite himself.
"Aap bhi khayal rakho" she said while walking him to the door. He smiled one last time at her & left. She locked the door behinf him and leaned back on the door closing her eyes. She sighed loudly. She kept standing there with her closed eyes & just kept feeling the peace & all those inexplicable emotions that this man, who didn't feel like a stranger to her heart, made her feel.
****
Sana was just wrapping up her work for the day, she got off in another 15 minutes. Her phone rang, and the moment she saw the screen, she couldn't stop the smile. She answered.
"Hey, sweetheart. Kesi hai? Did you sleep well kal raat ko?" his husky voice tingled her.
" Hii, mai theek. Haan haan ek dam behosh ho kar soyi, bilkul araam se. Aap kese ho?" she smiled.
" I'm glad. Listen, you free? Wanna go for some coffee?" he asked.
" Umm. Of course. I'm jujst winding up. Bas 15 minutes aur" she spoke.
" Great, see you soon" he spoke before ending the call.
Sana couldn't stop smiling. She didn't know what all these feelings were, she had been associated with a man for the past 2 years, but never for a second had she felt so willing to see him or be with him. She quickly started packing her stuff up.
Sidharth sat there in the car outside her office waiting for her to come. He had spent the whole day with his mom & now he had decided to spend some time with her & ensure that she was just okay. He wanted it for himself too. He wanted her in front of his eyes, at least for now, to ensure she's okay. It gave him a different kind of peace. Sana walked towards him. She was wearing a light pink button down, with white pants and a bun. She looked too hot for her own good. Sidharth sat there, his eyes fixed on her and this time? She too kept walking towards the car maintaining the eye contact. Her walk this time seemed more confident. He smiled softly at her. He was in a blue & grey stripes t shirt and blue jeans.
"Hiii, kese ho?" she giggled getting in the car.
"Hi sweetheart, I'm good. How are you?" he smiled at her, while changing the gear & setting the rear view mirror with his eyes scrunching a little. She had to look away to not be over whelmed. The rest of the drive went by with their usual chatter. He mostly asked her how her day was & she kept narrating him every little detail bringing a smile to his face. He kept showing her various places around on their way to the coffee shop.
"Haye mene tou phir full class lagai uski, bhala aap batao mujhe keh rahi thi k mai bhi apne designs abhi na dikhaun sirf kyunki uske abhi complete nahi hua. Leh bhala mene thekha lia hua hai kya yahan sab ka jo mai apna kaam madam jee k liye roku, ayi bari" she ranted cutely imitating her colleague at various points sipping her coffee. They were seated across one another in the cute and cozy café he had brought her to. He was just lost in her. The way her eyes moved and how her lips turned every time she spoke & how well she imitated every one. He could see how perfect her teeth were, especially the front ones. She looked like a bunny to him but she also looked so sexy. He wanted her to keep talking. His eyes & head kept moving as she talked in order to let her know how involved he was in everything she was saying. He hadn't seen someone like her.
"Sidhaaarth, sun bhi rahay ho aap k nahi?" she suddenly shook his arm that was kept on the table next to his mug.
"Haan sweetheart, sun raha hoon na" he was in a daze.
The car stopped outside her building and they both just sat there, neither of them wanting to leave. She turned towards him & spoke earnestly
"Sidharth, aap ki kal ki flight hai na? You're leaving for the next three days? Theek se jao, have fun. Aa kar mujhe batana. Aap yahan hotay ho tou tasali rehti hai, jese..jese koi mera apna hai yahan" she spoke softly not once breaking eye contact. Sidharth inhaled, it was too much. No matter how hard he tried to not let it get in the way, he couldn't. his thoughts & feelings were all over the place. How could he not think of the biggest truth that set them apart. It was like a constant reminder of where he's headed & how it would only cause him destruction. He wanted to pull her in his arms & not let her move an inch.
"I Know, don't worry I'll be back soon. Tu apna khayal rakh tab tak & koi bewakoofi mat karna ab, hmm?" he smiled at her but his tone wasn't as warm. It still felt very personal but it lacked something, she couldn't pinpoint what. She let it be. By now she knew how genuine he was towards her so she didn't let these minute things get to her. She nodded smiling back at him and started to get out of the car. Right when she was about to step outside after opening the door, he spoke, as if suddenly his heart was racing on its own. He felt restless.
"Sana?" he spoke hurriedly.
She turned back looking at him, he kept staring at her trying to convey something unsaid. He then extended his hand and cupped her cheek lightly rubbing his thumb over her cheekbones, she inhaled sharply.
"Just, just be safe sweetheart. I'll see you soon". He spoke looking at her trying to capture her in his eyes. She was too overwhelmed with the intensity of his gaze & his touch. She just smiled back lightly and got off. He kept staring at her retreating figure & sighed. He lightly banged his fist on the steering "Fucking hell" he was too frustrated. This restlessness was creating havoc inside him. He lightly rubbed his fingers on his forehead & then his chin. He looked one last time towards her building & drove away. The next three days would at least be easier for him.