55. Toxic

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''Ser Criston... you've been summoned.''

''I left the Princess just minutes ago.'' Criston countered

''Not the Princess, ser. The Queen.''

"Ser Criston, Your Grace." A handmaiden said as the door swung open, Criston took cautious steps into the queens chambers.

''That will be all.'' Alicent agreed and passed off her screaming daughter, she wasn't fond of her children. ''I fear I must question you on a, on a delicate matter, Ser Criston.''

''I am your servant as always, my Queen.''

''It concerns our dear Princess Rhaenyra. Please.'' Alicent pat the spot next to her and waited for him to sit next to her. hesitantly he removed his sword from his hip and sat stiffly next to her.

''You are her sworn protector and rightly loyal to her.'' Alicent remarked.

''I am.''

''The night of Daemon's return... there's been a rumor... or rather, my father received an accounting of... a lapse of morals that may have occurred between... It is, of course, unthinkable for me to question the virtue of the Princess, whom I hold in highest regard, but, I-I, I did, however, wonder if... I'm not unaware that in flush of youth... there may be errors made...'' Alicent didn't know how to say it but she needed to know her father was a good and right man. Alicent let out a long sigh as she looked to Criston.

''breaches in resolve, breaches, or rather lapses...''

''It happened, Your Grace. The sin you allude to. I have committed it. At her instigation, it is true, but that should... It is no excuse.' Criston agreed as he stood up. ''My oath has been broken. I have dishonored myself. I deserve no consideration. But if... as a clement Queen, you are inclined to pity... I would ask only this... that rather than gelding me and having me tortured... you would sentence me mercifully to death.'' Criston offered.

''Thank you for your honesty, Ser Criston. You may go.'' Alicent informed him and he stared back at her but she seemed content.

+

''Rest now, Your Grace. I will bring the leeches.'' Mello said as Viserys lay back exhausted and weak.

''If I may, Grand Maester, I took the liberty of preparing a fresh set of herbal poultices that might be more... effective.'' Maester Orwyle offered. Davina stared down at her brother, his face pinched his whole body tense with pain and agony.

''That will not be necessary, Orwyle.'' Mellos assured ''The leechings have always brought His Grace relief." He assured as he headed out.

''To help him sleep.'' Orwyle offered the bottle popping the top to Davina.

''Where's the Queen?''

"Fuck the queen." Davina hissed. "Why didn't you tell me you are practically dying? Don't you think that is something I would want to know?"

''I was given to understand that she is otherwise occupied, Your Grace.'' Lyonel answered obediently.

"Viserys talk to me!" Davina demanded.

''Will I be remembered as a good king, Lyonel?'' Viserys said with a sigh. "Will I Davina?"

''Your Grace?'' Lyonel questioned as Davina sat on the arm of his chair.

''What will they say of me when the histories are written? I have neither fought nor conquered, nor suffered any great defeat.'' Viserys remarked.

''Some might call that good fortune.'' Lyonel remarked.

''It hardly makes a good song, does it? To be sung at feasts in a hundred years... five hundred.'' Viserys said pathetically.

"Who gives a damn about songs?" Davina whined, "Viserys,' she whimpered.

"Puff the magic dragon." Viserys sung weakly.

"That's not a song about a conqueror, it's about a made up dragon." Davina corrected. "Viserys you have been a good king, you created a good legacy."

''You have carried King Jaehaerys's legacy. And kept the realm strong.'' Lyonel agreed with Davina but his answer didn't satisfy Viserys. ''Is it not better to live in peace than to have songs sung after you are dead?''

'Perhaps. But there is a part of me wishes I'd been tested. I often think that in the crucible, I may have been forged a different man.''

'' Many that are tested, only wish to have been spared it. '' Lyonel remarked.

''Another lord might assure me that I would rise like Aegon the Conqueror given the chance.'' Viserys remarked bitterly.

''Your Grace, that is... You're right. You're right... as always." Lyonel told him.

"No he is not." Davina corrected. "You are not right, you are wrong and being difficult." Davina corrected handing him the potion.

''It is perhaps best not to know.'' Viserys countered drinking the potion.

"Hi, I'm level headed Davina I come out when Viserys goes down a little pity party of poor me I'm the king." Davina hissed smacking him over the head.

"Davina." Viserys hissed.

"You are fucking dying Vis, this is why you wanted to secure a match with those cunts?" Davina spat kneeling in front of him.

"I'm not dying." Viserys corrected.

"Really? Cause you look and sound like a dead man walking Viserys." Davina corrected.

"Honey... I wish we didn't spend so many years at each others throats." Viserys told her.

"Don't give me your death speech and make amends." Davina warned.

"I'm not." Viserys corrected. "I just wish to apologize for all I have done to you."

"Don't." Davina warned. "Viserys, Rhaenyra is not ready. You spent too damn long doting over the little shit instead of preparing her and now you are going to die and Rhaenyra is still a child, she is not ready for this." Davina told him.

"You can help her, guide her." Viserys begged grabbing to her hand.

"You just said you were not dying." Davina reminded him.

"I'm not, but she will still need you."

"What about what I want? What I need?" Davina countered. "I have done as I was told but what about my chance at love and happiness? Do I not get that?"

"Of course you do but Davina-'

'I love him. I hate that I love him some days but daemon is the one for me, I know it. I know he is toxic and makes me crazy but its always been him." Davina whimpered and Lyonel took that as his cue to leave.

"Viserys I love you but I cant be this person that you want me to be." Davina whispered. "I cant take on this responsibility, guiding Rhaenyra... helping her in council meetings, you know that I never wanted a crown-'

'Daemon does." Viserys countered.

"I love him. I love him more than life itself." Davina told him. "He breaks my heart and makes me doubt everything but when we are together its right and true and good." Davina declared. "It is fucked up I know that, he breaks my heart and I let him back in, it is an abusive relationship of trust and broken faith." Davina agreed. "He is toxic but I'm addicted to him all the same."

"I don't want him to drag you down." Viserys told her.

"He is the only one that can lift me up." Davina countered. 

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