Criss Angel Is A Douchebag

1.6K 57 14
                                    

"This, this isn't a trick, okay? I, I, I don't do tricks. This is a demonstration about demons and angels, love and lust..." a guy with short dark hair and dressed in all black and wearing eyeliner rambled on as he does some sort've card trick for an audience.

"What a douchebag." Dean grumbles. "Agreed." I said as I noticed a camera man and a person holding a microphone nearby. "—all that stuff mixed up in my head." the guy said as Sam leans towards us.

"That's Jeb Dexter." he said. "Who?" I asked. "I don't even want to know how you know that." Dean said to Sam. "He's famous, kind of." Sam said. "For what? Douchebaggery?" Dean asked and I snort at this as Jeb continues on with his ramble or demonstration that he was doing.

"—but whatever happens, no matter how messed up it gets, don't touch me, okay? For your own safety." he said and he inhales then he exhales, shaking his head, then imitates something like a seizure. With one hand he grabs for the cards in his other hand and scatters them, flinging them in the direction of the window behind him.

"Go back to hell, demon!" He shouts and the card that sticks to the window is the ace of diamonds. Jeb drags his hand over the card to show that it's on the far side of the glass. "Is this your card?" he asked and the audience began to applaud.

"You've got to be kidding me. A fake demon possession?" Dean said, disgusted, and he walks away, Sam and I follow him. "I can't believe people actually fall for that crap." Dean grumbles. "It's not all crap." Sam defended. "What part of that was not a steaming pile of BS?" I asked Sam. "Okay, that was crap, but that's not all magicians. It takes skill." Sam said.

"Oh, right, right, I forgot. You were actually into this stuff, weren't you?" Dean asked him and I turn to Sam. "Were you really?" I asked Sam, who stays silent. "Did you have like a deck of cards and a wand?" I asked, teasingly, and Sam rolls his eyes. "I was thirteen. It was a phase." Sam said and I chuckle. "That's adorable, Sam." I said.

"Just—it bugs me. You know, playing at demons and, and magic, when the real thing will kill you bloody." Dean said. "Like a guy who drops dead of ten stab wounds without a single tear in his shirt?" Sam asked and Dean smiles. "That's what I'm talking about." he said and we head off.




The lady, that was Vance's assistant, was tossing a bunch of metal rings into a mostly-packed trunk. Vance was the man Sam told is that died with ten stab wounds. She turns to face us as Dean asked. "So did your boss have any enemies that you know of?"

"Vance had plenty of enemies." She replied as she leans down and grabs the end of a series of tied-together handkerchiefs. "How so?" Sam asked her. "He would steal from other magicians. All the time." the assistant said.

"What would he steal?" I asked, curiously. "Stage effects, closeup techniques, anything he could get his hands on." she replied. "Is that enough to get him killed?" Dean asked her. "These guys take this stuff pretty seriously." she said and she moves a cloth off a white rabbit. "There you are." she said as she bends down to pick up and pet the rabbit.

"Did you find anything weird in Vance's stuff? Well, weirder?" Dean asked the assistant. "Matter of fact, I did." she said and she puts the bunny in a bag then pulls out a Rider-Waite tarot card: the Ten of Swords. The image on the card is of ten swords sticking out of a man's back.

"I'm guessing this didn't belong to Vance." Sam said. "He hated card tricks. Never wanted them around. Let alone in his precious cape." she said and she hands over the card. Sam looks at both sides of it and I come up to his side. It looked like a perfectly ordinary tarot card.





"It's a lame gig. I'm in a fleabag hotel doing this man-of-the-people crap, and freaking Angel's in Vegas doing Cirque du Soleil! That should have been mine." Dean and I hear Jeb shout into his phone while we approach at an adjacent table with two older men sitting in.

Supernatural (Dean Winchester x Female!Reader)Where stories live. Discover now