My Muse || READER X RAY || The Promised Neverland

🔒 My Muse || Chapter Forty Eight

"Hey," Ray said, dark circles underneath his eyes. He couldn't sleep either. "Can we talk?"

Thanks to Sonju and the kids, I was feeling better. I felt confident, loved and appreciated. As long as I had them, I would be okay. I shifted to one side of the blanket, patting the other side as an invitation.

"I want to explain everything you saw." Ray said, sitting down beside me. "I miss you."

I flipped open the pocketbook again, skimming it's pages. I didn't even glance at him. "I would miss me too, if I were you." Play hard to get, y/n. Hard to get.

"Emma and I weren't doing anything weird, like you think we are." He looked at me warmly, but I wasn't convinced. I tried to make my voice sound as soft as I could. "Ray, please." I put the book down and stared right back. "How am I supposed to interpret you and Emma cuddling like that? Her head was on your shoulder and you were holding hands. You smile so much around her. I thought I was the only one who could make you happy like that."

Then it hit me. Was it even my position to be mad at Ray?

We were never dating, or a thing. He told me he loved me and I told him I loved him. Was I wrong to think we were together?

"Either way, it doesn't change the fact you never visited me, Ray. When I was sick, only Don and Gilda came to check up on me."

"I didn't feel like I had to, I knew you were strong. I knew you would make it."

"Showing you care enough or that you're concerned isn't much to ask for. Isn't caring for someone you love natural? Isn't holding their hand through every pain natural? Isn't that what people in love do?" My voice started to break as tears ran down my face. Yeah, the anger had left me, but all I was is sad now. "Ray, were we not in love?"

He pulled me into his chest, rubbing the back of my head. "Of course I love you, y/n. I love you so much." "A-And how about E-Emma?" I cried, muffled in his shirt. "Every day you were sleeping, Mujika was teaching me about medicine. She taught me how to make antiseptics and how to clean and dress wounds. I wanted to be prepared if this happened to you ever again. I can treat your fevers now, y/n. And Don and Gilda. But I'd rather be your doctor out of them all."

It felt like I'd waited hundreds of years to hear that. "And that night?" I asked.

"Emma was crying. She thought it was her fault that you were sick. She was scared you would die. I talked to her, I told her it wasn't her fault and she fell asleep like that. She was having a nightmare, shaking and crying. I held her hand to make it better."

Was that really all it was? I let my head fall onto his shoulder, his shirt wet with my tears.

"The traitor and the Cattle, right?" He whispered into my ear. He intertwined our fingers, squeezing my hand warmly. "Hm?" "Your parents are called the traitor and the cattle?" I nodded, still on his shoulder. "That sounds like us." He booped my nose with his free hand. "The cute little cow." I giggled, poking him back. "And the selfish traitor who loved the tiny calf." I laughed and pushed him away. "You're so cringey!"

I didn't really mind it though.