The Advice Column I

Twenty-Nine

Advice Request
This person is lacking in self-confidence and would like tips on how to love themselves.   

Answered Submission
Hello! First I'd like to say something. 

I'm sorry, am I meeting myself? Because you sound EXACTLY like me, but with a major difference: self-confidence. That, my twin, is the key to life. Having self-confidence isn't an overnight thing. It's something you slowly built up until you get to a point where NO ONE can break it down. It isn't easy, but come on, what is? If you want the easy route, fake it 'till you make it. It may sound cheesy and overused, but it totally works. If you ooze of assurance and self-confidence by just acting, what do you think will happen over time? It'll be natural, and then you'll pretty much have the world in the palm of your hand. When you do things with confidence and self-assurance, then others will just want to be like you. It's a crazy, but amazing thing that you should definitely build up. All you have to do is try.

With giving up easily, that also ties in with your confidence and your drive of passion. When you do something, and that could be literally ANYTHING, do it like it's the last thing you're allowed to do. Do it as if there are a million dollars after you're done. When you add passion, determination, and confidence, anything you do will eventually turn the way you want it to.

GIRL, I HAVE NO PATIENCE AT ALL, so I relate on so many levels with this very weakness. I guess the thing that helps me is how another person would feel if I was so impatient. Imagine you are in a store and the employee went to go and find something for you, but she is taking forever! Plus, you have somewhere to be, and you don't have all day. You know what you do? You put on that confident smile and wait as patiently as you can like the good person you are. Patience is something not everyone has but should because being impatient is rude and hurtful. For a person wanting to have self-confidence, you need to be able to wait without complaining and show other people that you have a great image. Do anything to pass the time. You can talk to other people, look at your phone, hum to a song, count numbers, but don't ever show that you can't wait. I mean, then you'll end up looking like me...a 5 years old In the body of a 17-year-old and that's not good. Just wait it out and the outcome should be awesome!

Expectations are like goals: you have to work your butt off to achieve them. Like confidence, it doesn't come easy but think of the bigger picture. If you want to be a singer, you'll have to do whatever it takes to get to that goal. You think Beyonce just instantly became famous and an adored queen? No, she did what it took to get to her goal like any other human on earth. Make that expectation fun though, so it will be easier to accomplish. Just believe in yourself, lovely. You've got this! With parents and their expectations, that's a whole different ballgame. I have those kind of parents too, but instead, my dad also cares. Just try your hardest and tell them that, but you trying your hardest has to be genuine. Also, your flaws are what make you, you. Your mother can hate on them but if you've got that confidence, you embrace it and just smile when she points it out. Having confidence just changes you.

I love friends that use sarcasm constantly, they make life funnier and interesting. If it annoys you, just tell them to stop.

Loving yourself means getting time to understand who you are. Learn about your inner self and hopefully, with the self-confidence, you should be able to love you and impress anyone you meet with your incredible personality. 

Remember: Fake It 'till you make it, try your best, believe in yourself, be patient, love yourself and have fun! All basic things, but all very helpful.

The Advice Column Team