The Advice Column I

Fifty-Eight

Advice Request
This person is shy and would like to be more confident.

Answered Submission
Confidence is accepting the good and flaws you possess—that's what people usually say. Although that is true, there is so much more to confidence.

Confidence: is the state of being comfortable enough to be yourself and always standing up for yourself when needed around anyone and everyone without any exceptions whatsoever! This means not only do you need to acknowledge the fact that you have flaws—AS ALL HUMANS DO—but you also need to acknowledge the fact that you possess positive traits as well!

Everyone has a different definition of what being "shy" means. If you feel as though being "shy" is interfering with your life so much that you can't function well, then your shyness might actually be social anxiety. However, if you feel slightly awkward around people and feel like you don't feel too bothered by social situations, then there's nothing to worry about! It's always best to double check with a professional to make sure you're in good mental shape. :)

Wanna hear something cool? Shyness is so timid that it runs away from confidence! What does this mean? Let confidence beat your shyness! That's how confident confidence is! 😃

Do this:

1) Get a piece of paper and pen.
2) On the left side of the page, write "Uncontrollable Flaws." In the middle, "Positive Traits." On the right side, write "Controllable Flaws."
NOTE: Do the below steps in the written order!
3) Take the time out to think what type of uncontrollable flaws you posses. Write them down—all of them. Then, read over them and comprehend the list, but don't over analyze it.
4) Take the time out to think of controllable flaws that you possess. Again, write all of them down and comprehend them.
5) Similarly, think of positive traits you possess, and, then, write them down. Finally, read over the list and comprehend it.
6) Analyze "Uncontrollable Flaws." This means you need to accept the fact that no matter what you do, there's no possibility that these things will change. Is this a bad thing? Heck no! Your flaws are what makes you human—no joke! This is actually something you should be proud of: Be proud of the fact that being a human means you will posses flaws that can help you become emotionally and mentally stronger. . .Guess what? This means flaws are actually a blessing in disguise! We can use them to our advantage.
7) Analyze "Controllable Flaws." Aha. Flaws. They're blessings in disguise until they can be changed. If you can turn a flaw (such as a bad habit) into a better trait, then what you have isn't a blessing—it's a miracle-gift. As a human, you have so much potential to the point where you can change some of your flaws into awesome traits! Isn't that so beautiful? I mean, not only can you take advantage of your uncontrolled flaws, but you can even change your controllable flaws! In this column, write down a few sentences of how you're going to change each of those flaws; when doing this, make sure to be realistic and to give yourself time. It's not possible to change overnight. You might need days, weeks, months, or maybe even years, but that's okay, because in the long run, it's going to be so worth it! 😁
8) Analyze "Positive Traits." Even though, as a human, you certainly aren't perfect, you definitely aren't just a total mess who's always making mistakes! Nah, you actually have so many significant traits that you...you! This is something beautiful, so smile! These traits are things that you should be proud. Good for you.

So if you can take advantage of uncontrollable flaws, can change controllable flaws, and posses positive traits, then there's no reason for you to shy away from anyone. Obviously, you are a beautiful and important person who deserves to be heard because you are proud and worthy of speaking your thoughts, so go out there and show them who you are!

Having only two friends isn't a bad thing. Some people have it in their nature to have confidence while others have to acquire it. If you'd like a different method than the one above (or maybe you even want to use both!), continue reading.

People usually don't voice out their thoughts because they are afraid of being judged or talked against. It is in a human's nature to feel that way, but that doesn't necessarily mean you have to stay that way either. The first and most important thing you have to do is to get rid of the thought that people are going to judge you. The second thing you should do is shove away all the negative thoughts about yourself. Love and appreciate yourself. Keep telling yourself that you are nothing short of amazing. Dress nicely because your appearance plays a huge role in giving you confidence.

Once you have become confident enough, it won't be very difficult for you to make friends. Talk to your fellow students, and talk to the people who share the same interests as you. For example, if you love art and the person sitting next to you in class does as well, then start a conversation on the topic. Don't think too much about how you look or sound. Don't think if the other person is going to like you or not. Hopefully, you'll do great.

Shyness is so timid that it runs away from confidence! That's how confident confidence is!

Cheers!

The Advice Column Team