The Advice Column I

Fifteen

Advice Request
This person isn't sure whether they're straight or bisexual.

Answered Submission
Hi!

First, I'd like to start with the fact that I'm not an expert with the LGBT community, and this advice comes from a person with not much knowledge but definitely willing to help. So you think that you're attracted to both genders, yet you haven't been with a girl? That is a tough thing to figure out, lovely. I would suggest making sure that you are in a safe environment. This means that your parents won't hurt/hate you for your sexual orientation. This is very important when questioning yourself. If you've got an understanding immediate family, then let us roll onto the next piece of advice. (IF NOT, please try easing the the topic with them and helping them understand ONCE you've told them. Or you can bring it up one day and see how they react. If it isn't what you anticipated, hold off on the coming out and dating girls. I think I'd rather see you safe than kicked out of your home). Maybe try finding if there are any single, gay or bisexual girls in your school setting and perhaps ask one of them out. I mean, you won't know unless you try, and I usually say this for food, but you get my point. If not, then just wait it out. DO NOT resolve to online dating. That isn't really the safest, nor is it the best choice, especially if you are fairly new at dating girls and such. The internet isn't the safest place when it comes to dating. You can end up with a thirty-year-old instead of the person you desired. I'm not, at all, implying you can't text this person but, of course, texting them would lead to wanting to meet them, and again, a thirty-year-old man in your city looking for you is creepy. Back to my point, developing a relationship with a girl, and really, just getting to know them and their personality will totally spark feelings for certain people; if you do begin to have a crush, then, by all means, experiment wit your girlfriend. If you can't find a girl willing to be with you, then just wait it out. Patience is key in situations like this. It honestly depends on how you feel with the girl you eventually are with, and if you don't feel the way you get around a previous boyfriend or boys in general, then perhaps you aren't bisexual.

BACK TO PARENTS AND SAFE ENVIRONMENT: Dating definitely requires a lot of steps, and parents are like hawks. I understand you just want to know whether you are bisexual or not, but instead of having your parents find you making out with a girl in your room and exploding with rage, just do the steps I explained at the beginning.

I hope I helped. I'm big on rambling, so, if you didn't like this, I sowwy. I tried :) Don't give up and find yourself out.

The Advice Column Team