The Advice Column I

Forty-Seven

Advice Request
This person is having difficulty with choosing which of her parents to live with.

Answered Submission
I'm sorry that it had to come to this. The time when you have to choose to live with one parent and the other gets offended. Divorces are messy, complicated, and often have more of an impact on the child than on the parents. It hurts to say this but there is no way you can please both of them because one is going to get upset. However, don't worry because they will forgive you for it, parents always do. Just know that despite whatever advice I give you, at the end of the day it is your choice and yours alone.

There are a few things to think about that I'd like you to contemplate before making up your mind. First, which parent do you feel most comfortable being around? If you choose the parent that makes you feel the most uncomfortable, then you might regret your choice. Second, which environment are you most comfortable in, alone or alone but with someone else? What I mean is, do you feel more comfortable being alone all day or more when you are alone but technically there is someone else in the house. Third, do you feel as though you need a parental figure? This is pretty much self-explanatory. Fourth, which home is closer to your school? This will end up being either an advantage or disadvantage to you. If you are closer, you can get up later and still be on time but if you are farther, then it will probably cost you some sleep. Fourth, which home is closer to your closest friends? I say this because I know that the transition is tough and some close friends will always be there for you when the going gets rough. And finally, think hard, which parent do you see yourself staying with for the foreseeable future? This is the hardest question I've thrown at you, but here's why it's important. If you can't see yourself getting love and happiness and forming a bond with the parent, then that home is not for you. I hope that this helps solve your dilemma at least a little. I know it won't be easy but remember there is always someone who's got your back.

Love,

The Advice Column Team