The Advice Column I

Eighteen

Advice Request
This person is having issues with their mother and doesn't seem to like the relationship she's in.

Answered Submission
Hello there. I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. I used to have a pretty nosy mother, but communication between her and I is getting better, so she backs off. Your mother pretends to be you? I guess she really isn’t looking for attention through her daughter’s friends but rather from her daughter. Maybe try talking to your mother. Go on dates and just really connect. If she refuses to hang out, simply hide or really just break your phone. I wouldn't want anyone to take or look through my phone. Impersonating me would be even worse. Are you not able to communicate with your father? Try sending him an email and telling him about your situation. He’s your dad and should be able to understand and help you out. BUT before you do that, connect with your mom. Give her a chance and look through life in her shoes. I’m sure a divorce (?) is really difficult and she uses you to yell at because maybe she has no one else. Talk to her and really get her to understand that she needs to grow up and act like the adult you need her to be, and of course, be respectful about it. I promise adults aren’t that hard to figure out. They are just like us and need a shoulder to cry on once in awhile. You aren’t ungrateful. I think you just don’t talk to her, and she may perceive that as an attitude or something of the similar. Say thank you or please for things she gives you. Or do some cleaning or chores. Whatever you think will make her happy, do it. It may seem unfair, but maybe your life will turn around once she’s satisfied. If she makes you do unreasonable things, ask her why. Or just do it because she’s your mother and she probably knows what’s best. If it’s something dangerous and wrong, don’t. And if she becomes abusive, talk to someone. That includes someone at school, your dad, or anyone you trust. As for that relationship, just leave him/her. I don’t understand how you wouldn't be able to escape...unless they are hurting you? If they are, again, use the resources around you and tell someone. I understand the fear of telling someone about your problems and their reactions, but this is your life. YOURS. Don’t let anyone control it if they hurt you. Either communicate with the source of problem, or tell someone else. If they were your real friends, then you should be able to tell them. If not, there are teachers and counselors there, right? Use your voice to make a change.

If there is anything else you would like to talk about or would like to clarify for any of us, please PM us. We are here for you and want to help. :)

The Advice Column Team