The Advice Column I

Thirty-Three

Advice Request
This person broke up with her boyfriend on her mother's command, but due to a dire situation is confused on what to do.

Answered Submission
Hey there! I know things seem hopeless right now, but please, take a deep breath. In fact, cry if you need to. It will act as a catharsis, which seems to be exactly what you need right now.

Above all, keep this in mind. Your mom wants the best for you. You mentioned how your father passed away when you were young, which only strengthened your mom's hold on you. She's afraid to see you grow up, because without knowing it, you've been her anchor. Take into consideration her point of view, and try to see where she's coming from. She may be afraid to let you go with someone you don't know. Your best bet is to explain to her the situation you are in. But first, make her promise to hear you out. It might be difficult, but it's absolutely vital. She seems to be a very understanding person, so she can give you advice on what to do.

As for your boyfriend, this is definitely a call on your part. Breaking up with him is out of the question at the moment, but perhaps you can also explain to him what is going on. You seem to be his anchor to sanity, and to take that away from him would land you in an even more dire situation. Let him know that you truly do love him and that you are torn between doing what you want and what your mother wants.

With all that being said and all things taken into consideration, I believe it is best if you break up with him, but be his best friend. That way you can still have a strong relationship with him, but also keep your mother satisfied. It may seem to be the end of the world, but I assure you, it's not. The entire process may take months, but it will hopefully get you into a better situation.

Best wishes,

The Advice Column Team