The Advice Column I

Ninety-Seven

Advice Request
This person is confused on whether their friend is using them for their own benefit or is too hesitant to show that they love this person back.

Answered Submission
Hey there!

You seem to be in a tough situation.

This guy has been using you for the past three years, yet you're you're willing to drop everything to help him with whatever he needs, even if it something that hurts you on the inside, is kind of you. You may not feel it, but from the way you've described the relationship between you and him, I think you are quite nice, especially since you've been helping him for three years.

But, also, after all you've said, I do believe the best thing is to cut him out of your life-not completely, but enough that neither of you feel a drastic need for each other. It's quite clear that he's using you. If he really was your friend, I'm fairly certain he would talk to you in public and would be much more comfortable with you. I know you've said that you can't bear to leave him, but it's becoming a must that you do. It seems that he is benefitting you in no way and is hurting you on the inside. He's not worth your time.

If you still feel lost and are convinced that you love him, think over it logically. Two questions to ask yourself are a) does he make you genuinely happy? and b) does he feel the same? If even for a second you have a doubt, know that this guy isn't for you. There are so many other people out there who would be certainly blessed to have you in their lives. It might be hard in the beginning, but you'll see a difference in your life, but it just might not be right away.

Wishing you the best,

The Advice Column Team