The Advice Column I

155

Advice Request
This person wants to help her friend out of a tough situation.

Answered Submission
Hello again!

We're happy to know that your situation has improved a lot. 

However, we are very sad to hear that your friend, S, has also gotten herself into a similar situation as you. Every friendship has its rough patch, and even though being in that situation doesn't feel good (I'm sure you know what it feels like), we have to look at it from an optimistic side.

If we manage to rescue our crumbling friendships, we'll build a stronger and sturdier bond that could withstand more challenges than before because we have fixed the weak points in the relationship.

But, if we fail to save our friendships, it could mean that new doors of opportunities are opening up in order for us to meet other wonderful people. Losing your friend hurts—especially if it's your best friend—but if he/she doesn't try to be in the friendship with you, maybe it's just not meant to be. I've always said this when it comes to giving advice related to relationships: it takes two to tango. It takes two sides to make a relationship really work.

This is what you can do for her:
• Be there for her. It's cliché advice, but it is the most important part of being a human—having someone to rely on. There's a reason that there are seven billion people out there. We can never survive alone. Support her through this because this is a very stressful period for her. I know that this is what you have been doing, but I'd like to point out that you are already indirectly helping her.
• If you think that things are getting really out of hand, it would be good to tell L about everything, and try to ask her to think from S' side, and to not play with S' feelings anymore. They should resolve it nicely.

It is good that S has already told L about her feelings. I know L's response isn't what we would expect to happen, but be patient for now. It would be really great if you show the advice that you had gotten before (part #17) to S because I think it would help her greatly since she's in the same situation as you are in.

If it has resulted in her having to make new friends, don't forget to still be there for her. However, I know you will be there with her because you are a nice friend. 

I wish you and your best friend, S, the best of luck and hope that everything will be resolved nicely. May your friendship with your best friends last until the end of time because one of the most precious things in life is having a lifelong friendship.

With lots of love,

The Advice Column Team