The Advice Column I

Fourteen

Advice Request
This person is confused as to whether they like a guy or not, especially after he asked another girl to a dance and they didn't feel too disappointed that it wasn't them. They want to know know whether we can provide an answer as to whether they truly like him or not.

Answered Submission
This might disappointment you, but no one has the ability to recognize whether you truly do have feelings for this guy or not except for you. You. You. You are the only person who can determine whether you like him or not.

Sometimes, people like a guy or girl but not so much to the point where they feel upset when they are with other people. This might be the case for you. People, at other times, don't even like the guy or girl but think they do. This also may be you. But how in the world are you supposed to know which group you belong to?! Do you only like him a little? Is that what it is? Do you just think you like him but actually don't?! What is it?!

First and foremost, close your eyes and inhale a deep breath. Now exhale it. Relax and smile because you aren't the only one feeling this way. Many others have experienced what you're experiencing right now, and they've gotten through it, so you will too! :D

People confuse attractions for liking or love at times. What does this mean? Let's say this guy you think you like is physical attractive, and whenever he's around, you can't help but stare at him. On top of that, let's say he has a good personality, and this attracts you even more. His one flaw is that he's suffering from depression, but you think that's okay because you'll help him get through it. Are all of these things fondness, liking, love, or attraction? Attraction—you're attracted to his physical and internal self. If you feel as though the above describes your situation, then that's awesome because you have just determined whether you're attracted to him or not.

But wait.

Some people are both (feel attracted and like another person).

Try to write down the ways this guy makes you feel, and determine whether these ways have a positive impact on you. For example, if you experience calmness whenever he's around, this may make you want him to be around a lot more often. If you find that you yearn for his closeness and comfort, then there's a great chance you like him. Enjoying a person's presence is a sign that we want them to be around us more often, especially if we can act like ourselves around them.

Consider all of this to help you determine whether you like him or are just attracted to him (attraction isn't necessarily limited to physicality).

If you do all of the above and feel like you truly do like him, then you may wonder why you weren't too disappointed at the fact he asked another girl to the dance other than you. This is where The Advice Column Team shrugs and says, "We don't know." It might be because a part of you feels like he would never like you? Perhaps it's because your mind thinks that just because he doesn't like you now, it isn't the end of the world? Or maybe it's because you know that just because he doesn't like you right now, it doesn't mean he won't fall for you in the future. Try to think about it, but don't stress over it. If you can't find the answer, it's okay! There's a future ahead of you, so you can develop an even stronger friendship with him that may possibly lead to a relationship. You know know, he actually might like you right now but is too afraid to admit it because he isn't ready yet! Stay positive, and fight for what you want (in an optimistic and civil way of course). :)

We wish you the best!

The Advice Column Team