The Advice Column I

Six

Advice Request
This person feels left out because their friends have boyfriends while they don't. In addition, pictures of couples on the Internet makes them feel like they aren't good enough and that no one would ever want to be with them. They wonder how they can stop these thoughts and feelings.

Answered Submission
It is only natural for both men and women (including teenagers) to want to know how it feels to be with someone. Having a girl friend is not the same as having a girlfriend, and having a boy friend is definitely not the same as having a boyfriend. In other words, friendships, although they do bring us pleasure to a significant extent, don't satisfy us the same way a person we're in love with may. It's understandable that you would want to know how it feels like to be with a significant other since you've never been in a relationship with a person. Know that desiring to be in a relationship with someone is absolutely normal! Just because you haven't been in a relationship yet, it doesn't necessarily mean you will spend the rest of your life alone. It can actually mean that you simply haven't met the right person for you. Hence, you should never put yourself down, or convince yourself that you aren't good enough. You are good enough, and someone will love you for yourself one day. That day may be years from now, but that's okay because, in life, things take place in the right time.

You should consider stop looking at pictures of couples on the Internet, like Tumblr, because these photos may be the reason why you're letting yourself down. Unfollow (or even block if necessary) the accounts that post these photos; you don't need them in your life, especially if they're affecting you negatively. After doing this, try jotting down some of your strengths and talents, and then read over what you've written. Once you do that, you will realize that you are good enough because you posses unique qualities; it's just that no one has noticed yet. One day, someone will notice, and that someone will love you enough to approach you, and you might even end up being together for the rest of your lives. Patience is a virtue. Give yourself time to grow out of this negative state you're in by following the above steps. When you feel like you're ready, consider putting yourself out there; join something to meet new people. This may increase the chances of running into someone who may catch your interest. :)

Sincerely,

The Advice Column Team