The Advice Column I

Sixteen

Advice Request
This person has two friends that disrespect and bully them, but at times, this person feels like they're friends are fun to hang around with. They're also experiencing a few other problems that deal with them and even a third friend.

Answered Submission
First and foremost, you are not a weak person. You might be a confused person (at the moment), but you are definitely not a weak person. You might have a weak spot, but that doesn't make you a weak person. One characteristic of yours doesn't define who you are (at least not all of the time).

I hope the above caught you're attention. It's important for you to understand that, since you aren't a weak person, you have every right to stand up for yourself whenever one of your friends steps on you to the point where you feel disrespected. As a matter of fact, what kind of friend treats their friend the way your friends are treating you? Friends are people who respect, honor, love, stand up for, support, care about, guide, help, and mentor other friends! There are many times where people enjoy hanging out with a specific person because they love one specific trait of theirs; in your case, case in matter, is your friend's humor. It's great that your friend makes you laugh, but it's absolutely disgusting and terrible that this very same person harasses you. This type of person is a hypocrite, a bully, and definitely not a friend! The same goes for the other friend of yours. Friendship should be based off of things a relationship should be based off of: respect, loyalty, love, forgiveness (to name a few things).

From the above, it's obvious that there's something wrong in your friendship with your two friends, so I suggest that you either talk to your friends about the way they treat you. If that doesn't work out, try again. And again. And again. But don't try more than 3 to 4 times. If you need to try multiple times, then it's time to stand up for yourself one last time, get up, walk away, and quit your so-called "friendship" with them even if, at times, you enjoy being with them. A person who doesn't respect you doesn't deserve your presence in their life. You don't have to necessarily be their enemies at this point, but you shouldn't be their friend either. Be a nice stranger who respects them because you're the better and more mature person.

Is it easy to do all that has been said above? Absolutely not, but like I said, you're NOT a weak person. You're a human, right? And a human has rights, right? And a human with rights deserves to live with their rights, right? And a human who deserves to live with their rights should be respected because of their rights, right? Right, right, right, and right! Go out and be the stronger person you are. If you find it difficult to defend yourself, let friend number three help you out. Another option is to breathe in and out as many times as needed until you calm down, and then approach them. Don't even hesitate to get an adult involved if necessary; bullying is never okay, especially not by a "friend!" It isn't embarrassing to reach out for help in such a situation like yours.

Removing negative people from your life will open opportunities for you to meet new people. Make new friends, and make it clear to your new friends that you deserve respect just like everyone else does. You matter like everyone else does, and you are important like everyone else is. Your worth alone is enough proof that you're still much more than you think, so show your current and future friends who you truly are.

Sincerely,

The Advice Column Team