so long story short, i wrote a song. it's quite short, 2 minutes and 22 seconds (222 is corey haim's "number." coincidence ??? i think not.) anyway, i wrote it. and i wanted to write a song because i want to have a career in singing/ music. i want to go fast, and i wnna record this and get it out there.
but i have to show my mom the song and all that. see if written songs before, they're lowkey in my poem books. poems that i've ATTEMPTED to convert in the song. but this i actually sat down and said "okay, i'm gonna do this now", and i started writing it. and in-between writing i would record myself and sing it. try to get a rhythm and structure going, all that.
so the song has a very simple structure (v1, chorus, v2, chorus, bridge, chorus) and yeah... it's about depression, YIKES ! but it mostly portrays SAD which is when people develop depression during winter/fall because of the lack of light. and i have a lot of those symptoms, ya know. it's personal but it's written in such a way that it just sounds like i'm talking about light, because people with SAD need ultralight therapy !!
i also put some symbolism in there. peaches represent truth, youth and longevity. strawberries represent good health in the seneca culture, and depression has to do with health. and i love strawberries and peaches. i feel like peaches are kinda dissed in songs. but strawberries are highly represented in literature, visual art and lyrical art.
a big inspiration of this song is lana del rey. not because she glorifies depression in her songs, but because she is one of my favorite artists. and also, her lyrics tend to be very symbolic and they require a lot of thinking for you to get it. my main inspiration for this song was one of her instagram videos she posted, of her singing the lyrics to a lullaby she wrote called "cherry blossom."
my song has the same gentle, melodious sound to it. and the fruits and trees are represented in that song as well as in her's. it's very lullaby-ish and i don't really hit too many low notes in this song, it's very lofty and breathy and high pitched.
so , here goes. tell me what you think. it's called "mourning doves." because they make that mournful sound.
( to hear the actual sound, skip to 0:16 ) i don't mean to sound DEEP, but their sound is very beautiful. i hear it often outside my house and i'm always familiar with it because i learned about them at nature camp. and i always listened to them, but upon writing these lyrics i watched this video and realized how sound their call is?
it's kinda like somebody trying to find someone and calling their name, but their voice then declines and lowers near the end because they realize there's no hope. and then in the video, the bird flies away, which is very meaningful to me ?? like it makes me sad but it so represents the song like ugh i wanna sample it tbh.
ok, here's the lyrics.
verse 1 :
we take shelter under peach trees my love
when the sun starts to disappear from above
and when we morph into mourning doves
we'll find the ultra light, to take hold of
chorus :
and if we should forget who we are
in the midst of the darkness, while the light is so far
i will run to you
but you'll have come to me, already
verse 2 :
and so i ask you to please not hide
because if you do, how will i keep my pride
the nights may be longer, and the days much too
short
but we are a mission, that you simply can't abort
chorus :
and if we should forget who we are
in the midst of the darkness, while the light is so far
i will run to you
but you'll have come to me, already
bridge :
and the spring comes in and leaves it all behind
and the strawberries aren't too hard to pick, nor find
chorus :
and if we should forget who we are
in the midst of the darkness, while the light is so far
i will run to you
but you'll have come to me, already
verse 1: okay, so the narrator of the song(me) and whoever is with me are hiding under peach trees(peaches represent longevity/ immortality. i also read that they represent a happy marriage which kinda is the sort of relationship the narrator is in. like she's not married but she has a spiritual bond with someone.) they're hiding under the trees that sprout the fruit that symbolizes longevity because the sun is disappearing, meaning fall is here. it's getting dark at 4 pm and it is getting dangerous !!
"when we morph into mourning doves" when the light disappears, they call out for it. like how the sound of the mourning doves sorta sounds like people calling out for someone they know isn't there. they're searching for the light, and can't find it, and they know they have no choice but to "morph" into these doves and feel sorrowful for the season.
"we'll find the ultralight to take hold of." this sorta talks about what treatment they need to feel better i guess ,,, this part is pretty obvious to find the meaning of if u know what the song is about.
chorus :
"and if we should forget who we are in the midst of the darkness, while the light is so far." not only is one of the symptoms of depression/anxiety being forgetful or paranoid, but i find that when i go through these bouts of depression( which again, seem to occur during the fall and winter ), i feel like my skin is melting off of my body and i'm left with nothing but flesh and blood, which is admittedly what everyone is. but that isn't me. that is not who i am outside of these bouts of depression.
"i will run to you but you'll have come to me, already." again, the narrator has a tight bond with whoever she is with. and so when she finds herself forgetting who she is, she can trust this person enough to run to them. and according to me, i find it hard to trust s0o0 many people, so for me to come to you and spill to you my depressing thoughts is a big ass fuckin deal !!!! and again, tight bond- she is running to this person she loves, and they are already searching for her. either they knew she was distressed and were coming to comfort her, or they were distressed and were coming to be comforted.
verse 2 :
"and so i ask you to please not hide because if you do, how will i keep my pride." yeah basically she doesn't want her partner to be afraid to live because she can't have people breaking her down based on them.
"the nights may be longer, and the days much too
short but we are a mission, that you simply can't abort." ya the nights get longer in the winter if y'all didn't know and i hate that and yeah bla bla bla and ya ya ya. but the narrator and her partner are on a mission to find the light and her partner CANNOT go into hiding because this is not something they can dismiss...
bridge: "and the spring comes in and leaves it all behind and the strawberries aren't too hard to pick, nor find." ok omg. so this is like the revival of the two of them. the spring comes and shit gets better. like maybe in April i started feeling so much better. November thru January i was fucked up, in so many feelings, honestly so dragged. February and maybe some of January, and march, was just there. i was just living, being neutral and fake as hell to my friends so no one got worried. had such a guard up and yeah. whatever, but when April came around and temperatures got higher, and the sun was actually alive, i started feeling SO happy. like my life was ten times better, i was like never sad. i still cried a lot but oh fuck, i'm a crier so it doesn't matter.
but anyway, the spring comes around and leaves all the darkness behind. "the strawberries aren't too hard to pick, nor find." so, this means that basically, the good health that strawberries represent grow everywhere. just as they grow, individually and together, their mental health grows better day by day, as they pick strawberries, never eating them.
thoughts?
#zuzaf
