a job

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so today i had a job interview at this really cool radio station for all girls. it focuses on empowering girls and stuff like that and you get to have ur own little radio show and be on air and on the radio and work on the soundboard. we get to talk about things we ACTUALLY are interested in and i went to the interview. after about ten-twenty minutes of the interview they asked me to come to orientation. sadly, i cant attend orientation days so they just gave me the job. and they were really eager to give me it too.

but of course my parents dont want me doin the job because we work three days a week during the school week. they think i wont be able to handle it because i'm not doing as well in math and i would have been working from 4-7. of course school always gets in the way of things i want to do. and besides i really dont think a job would get in the way of my math difficulty because no matter how hard i try i end up with the same results. people who dont even try in my math class get better results than me so i guess i should just start doing that huh! honestly a job isnt gonna make a difference i try so hard and i've tried everything and it doesnt work so what does it even matter.

and of course both my parents barely even care what i think and think that i wont be able to do both when they didnt even give me a chance. and my mom is just dismissing it because of school but this is a really big deal to me because we get to improve our writing and this job is perfect for me. half the summer jobs that they WOULD let me do are jobs i'm unable to do because i'm not even of age.

and that is also annoying cus half the people that are of age that i know wouldnt even try looking for jobs or try to get the jobs that i actually want but cant do due to my age. this is just really fucking disappointing and i just wanted to have my first job and make my OWN money. my dad keeps talking abt how he makes money and will give me what i want but i want to make my own money so i can buy things I want and feel in control and he doesn't understand that.

i would've been getting paid $100/ two weeks. i don't get $100 every two weeks from my dad to go buy $100 worth of makeup so i want to make it myself. that means i'm gonna be asking him for a hell of a lot more money now if that's the case tbh. and now i'm gonna have to freaking call the place and tell them i can't even do the fuckin job. such a letdown. anyway i've spent like the last two or three hours crying and i'm really disappointed that they don't even care and won't give me a chance. and even though its spring my happiness is barely progressing so this is just a great addition onto my state of mental illness that no one gives a shit about hence why i've only talked to one person about this in depth bc at least they would actually say something instead of dismissing it like every other fuckin person i try to talk to. smh now i'm annoyed by a multitude of things

- zuzu

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