Chapter 34
ShyAnne's POV
*One Month Later*
I still haven't told Andy about my pregnancy, because I don't want to tell him until I can't hide it anymore. If he wants the baby, I don't want to get his hopes up. If he doesn't want the baby, no harm no foul if I miscarry. I am definitely feeling the effects of this pregnancy, I'm more tired and emotional than usual, and I think Andy might be starting to notice.
I got out of bed and Andy turned to look at me.
"Babe, are you on your period? There's blood on your pants." He said.
"Shit." I whispered. "Can you drive me to the hospital?" I asked him.
"Are you okay?" He asked, concern on his face as he jumped out of bed.
"No. Yes. I don't know. It's just not my period." I said.
"Okay." He said and got dressed. I grabbed a towel to sit on and we went out to the car. He raced to the hospital and once we got there, we walked in. I told him to find us some seats while I went to go check in.
"I think I'm having a miscarriage." I told the nurse at the front desk.
"Okay, fill this out and someone will be out to get you soon." She said, handing me a clipboard. I started filling out the form and handing the clipboard back to the nurse when I was done.
"ShyAnne Miller?" A nurse called a bit later. Andy and I followed the nurse back and she took us to a room. "There's a gown on the bed, go ahead and put it on." She said, leaving the room. Andy sat down and I changed into the gown, climbing into the bed. Andy and I were quiet as we waited for the tech to come in.
The tech walked in a few minutes later, wheeling an ultrasound machine in behind her. She set it up and used the transducer to look around.
"It appears that you did miscarry, do you know how far along you were?" She asked me.
"Eight weeks." I said. I looked over at Andy and his jaw was wide open. Tears welled up in my eyes seeing his reaction.
"The OB will be in shortly." She said, leaving the room with the machine.
"Y-You were pregnant?" He asked and I nodded. A tear rolled down his cheek as he put his head in his hands. I reached over to rub his back as I heard him sniffle a bit.
"H-How long have you known?" He asked.
"About a month." I said. No use for lying now.
"W-Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, sounding absolutely heartbroken.
"We never really talked about kids. I didn't know how you'd react and I was scared." I told him.
"You still should've told me. It was my kid too and I had a right to know. How are you not more broken up by this?" Anger started to flash across his face.
"I don't really want kids." I said and he looked at me like I just kicked a puppy in the face. Before he was able to say anything else, the doctor walked in.
"Hello Miss Miller, I'm Dr. Andrews."
"Hi." I said as he opened my file and looked through it. "Is this your first early miscarriage?" He asked.
"No." I said, looking over at Andy. His eyes went wide and I knew this was going to be a fight. The doctor explained that since I was only eight weeks, I'd be able to pass the tissue at home. He told me what serious signs to look for and that if any show up I should come back. I was then allowed to get dressed and discharged myself. Andy and I sat in the car and drove home in silence. We got back home and I went to go shower and change while Andy stripped the sheets and tossed them in the wash. I walked out to the living room to see Andy sitting there, a blank look on his face. I started going to the kitchen but he stopped me.
"Sit, we're talking about this." He said. I nodded and sat on the other side of the couch, facing him.
"What do you want to know?" I asked.
"Everything." He said. "The good, the bad, and the ugly."
"I was briefly engaged to my high school sweetheart a few years back. We accidentally got pregnant and I ended up having a miscarriage early on. My doctor discovered I had uterine fibroids which make it difficult to get pregnant and difficult to carry a baby to term. We actually tried to get pregnant the second time because we were so distraught over losing the first one and it took almost a year before we were successful. I also ended up losing that one early on too. I guess this struggle with conceiving and carrying was too much for him and he dumped me. I decided I never wanted kids after that because I didn't want to go through this again, but here I am, going through it again." I sighed. "That's why I didn't tell you, I wanted to wait until I was in my second trimester because my chances of carrying to term significantly increase. I didn't want you to have to go through this."
"You don't want kids, like ever? Not even adopting?" He asked, his heart absolutely shattered.
"I don't see myself being a good mom. I was hoping with you being a rock star and touring all the time, you wouldn't want kids either."
"I really want kids, I want to be a father. Always have." He said. I felt my heart stop because I just knew what was coming because this happened before. "But you're more important." He said and I raised my eyebrows on him.
"You mean, you don't want to break up with me?" I asked.
"No, of course not. ShyAnne, I love you. Not your baby box, you." I bit my lip and smiled. He would be a really good dad. Damnit ShyAnne, no. "I really wish you would've told me about this pregnancy though that way I could've been there for you all along the way."
"I still have ultrasound pictures." I said.
"C-Can I see?" He asked and I nodded. I walked down to the car, grabbed the pictures from the glovebox and went back up. I handed them to him and he flipped through them and I heard his breath catch in this throat.
"Oh." He sighed, wiping a tear. "Fuck." He said, putting the pictures down. "I love you ShyAnne." He said with a smile.
"I love you too Andy." I smiled, kissing his lips.
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