His POV
It’s been three days since the day of my encounter and deal with Shivam. And also three days since my freedom. I started enjoying it a lot. Shivam has not even visited Ragini atleast. I was keeping an eye on him through some secret agent. Yes I know he will not do anything but still I can’t risk. He was just concentrating on some contract. I just hope my plan works.
Let’s come to today's topic. The most important one that is the first ever ritual of our marriage. “Pasupu Kottadam/Danchadam” means grinding of Turmeric. The opening of our marriage rituals start with grinding of Turmeric fingers as it is treated as very auspicious thing. The Turmeric fingers will be grinded in the mortar. Only after this ceremony all the marriage works will start.
In this ceremony married woman in family and married women in friends will be invited and they grind it in mortar. This turmeric will be used in further marriage rituals. Ma has invited all our relatives and her friends. She is very excited. My stupid and Idiot but amazing friends are also here. The Pandit has kept the muhurat from 10 to 11 in the morning. So ma has advised that this will happen at my house at 10.15 while at Ragini’s house at 10.30. It is the tradition that the ritual has to be done first at the groom’s place and later at Bride's place.
(Turmeric Fingers ☝️)
(Mortar and Pestle used for grinding the turmeric fingers ☝️)
I am standing a bit far from everybody smiling at every guest while they praise me saying that 'the glow of marriage' is playing on my face. My friends are standing beside me giggling for every comment from the guest. It is 10.15 and ma has called all the relatives to come first. They all stood around the mortar holding pestle. They started grinding the turmeric fingers by hitting them with long and big pestle. Ma is smiling happily. Papa is also smiling standing on the other side along with dadu, chachu and bhai.
“Why are you standing here Mr. Groom? Aren’t you needed anywhere?” Radhu asked me.
“No I am not needed anywhere. But ma wants me to stay so I stayed back.” I said to her clearing her doubt.
She nodded. They all doesn’t know these rituals as they all belong to North. I am not needed in this ritual. It was all the ladies function. Even the bride is not needed to present in the function. This is just for indication of start of marriage works with an auspicious work of grinding turmeric which is considered auspicious in every event. We don’t even purchase a plate which will be used to marriage before this is done.
I saw ma inviting all her friends to grind the turmeric. The more people do it the more blessings and good wishes would be on the bride and groom. Ma once looked at the time. She handed over the pestle to chachi and went to call Janu ma to inform to start the ritual and inform that it is done here. Unless we have did it here they can’t start there. So Ma made sure it is done atleast with dadi, chachi and some other relatives and friends who came early before the muhurat ends. Few more Friends of ma has arrived. They all moved to her and hugged her. Ma asked them also to grind the turmeric. Like this every woman will be doing. At the end when all are done any of the family woman will make it into perfect fine powder to use it further as turmeric.
“You also go and perform Radhu. You are married too.” I said looking at Radhu.
She nodded and went. Ma welcomed her and she started grinding enjoying the banters of the old ladies. The other two and me are standing there still and seeing them.
Now the works will begin. I am sure everybody will be exhausted from tomorrow till two months.
His POV ends
***
Her POV
I am looking at Ma who is happily welcoming the guests. The guests have been still coming when ma received call from Anu ma asking her to start the ritual. So it’s done there. I smiled happily.
Finally the marriage rituals have started! I saw Nani, Ma and Mami started hitting the turmeric fingers with long, big pestle. That raised my heart beat. I will be Ragini Laksh Maheshwari soon. That’s when I saw Mr. Shivam Malhotra entering into the house. I fumed looking at his smiling face. He didn’t get time atleast to call me after the day he came to meet due to my accident. I am angry.
He greeted ma and stood there.
“I will also do. I will also do.” He whined making everybody laugh.
“Arey Shivam beta it is done by only women.” Mami said making him understand.
“What? But why this injustice? I will also do. If you want call me a woman!” he stated pouting and taking the pestle from one of the aunties who is standing there.
I laughed seeing his childishness. He looked at me and glared me.
“Stop laughing Ginu! I am doing for your marriage only.” He said glaring me.
“Ma why don’t you give him a saree? He will wear that and do this.” I said glaring him.
He glared more and hit the pestle hard.
“Aww… Shivam beta please don’t go once the ceremony is done. I will make you grind these turmeric fingers into fine powder. You are hitting it very hard and the work will become easy for us.” Ma said.
I laughed holding my stomach while he pouted. He came and sat beside me leaving the pestle there. He poked my nose when I still continued to laugh making me stop laughing.
“Hehehehhe what’s so funny?” he asked angrily.
I glared him and got up from the couch I am sitting and moved inside my room. I know that monkey is following me.
“Hey monkey no.1 where is monkey no.3?” he asked.
“I have so useless friends that one leaves me for two and half years while the other doesn’t attend my marriage functions giving importance to her stupid office!” I said glaring him angrily.
“Whaaattt? Monkey no. 3 isn’t attending your marriage functions! Chi chi chi! What kind of friend is she?” he said dramatically.
“You know what Monkey no. 2 I am already angry and pissed of by you and you don’t make me more angry!” I glared him.
He sighed and sat beside me. He held my hand in his hand and made me look at him.
“I am sorry!” he said.
“Sorry? Will that bring our two and half years time back?” I asked glaring him.
He looked down and shook his head.
“But I could not do anything to prove my love for you. Even then I failed!” he said looking at me again.
I looked at him.
“I am sorry Shivam. I always told you I never felt something like that for you.” I apologised him in guilt.
“Then you feel them for Laksh?” he asked something which I didn’t expect.
I looked at him in silence for few seconds and nodded yes. His eyes showed hurt.
“This is the same feeling I felt when you told you love me. The Hurt! I never expected you to develop such feelings towards me. You are my best friend since our KG. And I always have seen you as a best friend. I never wanted any change of relationship with you. But you came and confessed about your feelings. I tried to make you understand but you were acting all obsessed which is not at all correct for any of us. I was very much worried for you when you failed in those internals. The person who always tops suddenly fails in internals just because to make me first and show that he will spoil himself for my love actually broke me. I wanted to make you understand even then but you aren’t listening. I couldn’t understand what to do. I felt at that time nothing matters to me other than your future. That is why asked you to achieve you goal and ask my hand from papa because I felt that by the time you start concentrating on your career you will understand me and will think maturely. But you have distanced yourself from me challenging me to be away and gain my love ending up us losing two precious years of our life.” I spoke everything I wanted to speak looking at him.
He just nodded.
“And do you know I still Love You?” he asked me.
I looked at him shocked and slowly took my hands from his hand. He smiled painfully.
“Shivam you know I am going to get married in a month?” I asked him still being shocked.
“I know. I still have time to try till your marriage.” He said with same kind of obsession which I used to see at that time.
I felt vulnerable. I looked away with teary eyes. He cupped my face and I was about to remove his hand and move back but he pleaded with his eyes. I just looked at him.
“I promise I will not let that come between our friendship. But please give me a chance to prove love for you. I thought by staying away from you I can make you understand that I can do anything for your love but that failed. Now I just want to show you how much I love staying beside you. Just one chance.” He pleaded.
“You know what you are speaking Shivam?” I asked removing his hands from my face.
“I know Ginu. I will not trouble you. I will just show my love to you. I don’t want to regret later that I didn’t try to prove my love for you.” He said.
“No Shivam. This is clearly cheating Laksh. You better go away and stay away from me like you were earlier. I can’t cheat MY LAKSH!” I said a bit loudly.
He stood up to go. My eyes turned teary. My best friend. I lost him forever. It’s because of me. I am the reason for everything. He turned back again.
“I am still your best friend Ginu. And don’t think you as a reason for this situation of ours. It’s always me who had brought us to this situation either it was then or now. I was always frank to you because I don’t like to act in front of you. I hid only one thing from you. And I will tell you that when the right time comes.” He spoke looking at me with teary eyes.
“I was very happy seeing you back thinking I got my best friend back. But you broke it just in few days Shivam.” I said painfully looking down.
I can see him standing there through corner of my eyes.
“I spent days in guilt thinking I did wrong with you and felt myself responsible for you going away from me. I couldn’t share it with papa as I don’t want papa to judge you. I don’t have Prit beside me to share as he was in hostel. I was alone. I cried many nights. But my guilt started reducing when I have seen you growing. The first time when you topped the university in the last semester. I made myself strong and was being happy seeing all your success through the news and magazines. I felt very proud of you when you brought Malhotra companies to the second place from somewhere which it was not visible in top list of companies. I felt very happy imagining how happy uncle and aunty would be seeing their son in high position. I felt happy when Aarushi told me that you have sent uncle and aunty to enjoy asking them not to take tension about business. I felt you had understood everything and became mature. I have been enjoying your success though from far and felt proud of my best friend. I felt that may be you have realised that I still feel you as a friend… best friend but you… you just disappointed me. I thought you were immature at that time and these all things happen. But even now you are same. The same immature and obsessed Shivam Malhotra. You are not at mistake solely. It must be me who would have did something or the other that would have made you think that I also love you. It’s all my fault. You were always right. I am really sorry. I know sorry will not change anything but all I can do is say sorry to you that’s all.” A sob escaped my mouth as I completed telling my heart out.
He is just standing there still.
“You are not at fault anywhere Ginu. It was always me who is at fault. You never showed or did something that had made me fall for you but your innocence and your heart is the one for which I fell. And please you don’t blame yourself and please stop crying. This is your special day I just spoiled it coming here. I am sorry. I will not show my face again.” he said making me shocked and turned to go.
“Shivam!” I called him.
He stopped but didn’t turn.
“You are again running. Running away isn’t the solution for anything.” I said as I can’t let him go though I asked him to.
“I am not running away. I am just keeping distance from you to make myself strong and also to make sure I don’t hurt you again.” He said.
“You going away is the thing which hurts me. I don’t want you to go away. I want my best friend. But I want you to understand that we both are not meant for each other. I want you to move on.” I said.
“I don’t know whether I will or not. But I will try.” He said still not looking at me.
“But one question. If anytime you get to know that I did something really bad will you forgive me?” he asked this time turning towards me.
“Unless you harm someone!” I said looking at him.
His eyes showed pain. He looked broke. What should I do? Why am I struck? Why? My eyes flow with tears.
“Can…can I hug you please? Just two minutes. I just need time to digest everything. I will feel peace in your embrace.” He pleaded with broken face and tears flowing.
I nodded. He immediately hugged me while I can hear silent sobs from him. I hugged him back hesitatingly. I couldn’t see my best friend broken. I slowly rubbed his back calming him. He moved away. He wiped his tears.
“I will come back on the day of shopping. I promise will not disturb you but I will be with you as your best friend atleast till your marriage! Is it fine?” he asked.
I just nodded. He went away and this time I didn’t stop him. I looked at null. Am I responsible for all this? This question kept running always and today it grew more stronger. Whom should I go and ask? Should I speak to Laksh? No not at this time. I will myself try to handle this. I took deep breath. Wiped my face and came out to see Prit, Krish and papa also playing with the pestle and laughing. I smiled lightly and went towards everybody. The guests went. It’s now only family.
Her POV ends.
***
Author’s POV.
He drove the car as fast as he could while the tears are rolling his eyes. All these while he was in a misconception that Ragini might give him a chance but today everything went. He felt he spoiled everything. He felt he has lost everything. Especially in front of Laksh. He was so much confident that if he speaks to Ragini she will definitely give him a chance but he broke her. He felt he lost his precious person his best friend forever. He stopped the car and got down. He walked into the beach looking aimlessly. He sat there where the water of ocean are touching him. He is getting wet.
“Hey you are getting wet!” he heard a voice.
He saw towards the direction to see a girl standing there wearing an yellow t-shirt and black jeans. For few seconds both of them fell into an eyelock which was broken when the girl slips and falls in water due to the waves.
“Oh No!” she exclaimed with crying face and got up.
He looked at her from top to bottom and then looked away ignoring her.
“It’s all because of you Mr.!” she said angrily.
He frowned his eyes and looked at her.
“What? Why are you frowning?” she asked in irritation.
She remained him of Ragini a bit. His eyes turned teary. He looked away. The girl got confused and sat beside him.
“You are sad?” she asked bending and trying to look at him.
He at once looked at her.
“Your eyes are teary. That’s why I asked!” she said softly.
He again looked towards sea.
“You love her so much?” she asked.
“I did so much to get her but at the end I just hurt her!” he whispered softly still looking at the sea.
She kept looking at him.
“I left her to gain her, I tried to kill someone to gain her but still couldn’t get her.” He said softly.
She continued to look at him.
“She will be getting married to her father’s choice in a month. That man knows that it was me who tried to kill him but still he gave me a chance till the day of marriage and asked me to get her love. I don’t understand why did he do so?” he whispered confused still at it.
“Because he knows that you matter a lot for her.” She whispered softly looking at him.
He snapped his head towards her.
“Means?” he asked.
“He doesn’t want her to know that you were the one who tried to kill him. He doesn’t want her to hate you because he knows that you both are really close. You might be her best friend. Isn’t it?” she said and asked at the end.
“How did you find out?” he asked.
“Your words just made me feel so. I just guessed it and that hit the point.” She said.
He just nodded.
“I never hid anything from her from childhood. Today I went and said her that I still love her. She was hurt. She wanted something else but I just ended up doing something else. She wanted to see me as a good successful man but I ended up as a criminal. I am scared that I will lose her forever if she gets to know what all I did to prove my love to her.” He said as the tear fell down from his eyes.
“Did you realise that you are actually feeling guilt for the things you did in past?” she asked.
He looked at her.
“You are not completely changed. You still want her to love you. Don’t you?” she asked.
He nodded.
“I still want to try till the last minute. I don’t want to lose her.” He said looking at her.
“Then try. You know trying is not wrong. But make sure you try in such a way that you show your love to her without hurting her. But also see how she is around her fiancé? If you still think that she deserves you but not her fiancé then no matter what you get her. If you feel her fiancé deserves her more you leave her and your love for her there. But remember the friendship you both had should be strong and should not get effected. If she is yours she will definitely come to you. But if she is his she will definitely go to him. Wait for the time and keep trying without hurting her.” She said with a smile.
He kept staring her. He stored every word she spoke in his mind. His mind and heart asked him to follow her words. He nodded.
“Thank you!” he said smiling slightly.
She smiled back.
“Aadhya!” she said getting up.
“Shivam!” he said standing up from there and forwarding hand to her.
She smiled and shook her hand with him. She bid bye and started moving but stopped and turned back.
“I know forgetting your love is not easy and also changing yourself. But if you try there is nothing you cannot achieve. If you really want to make her happy try to make yourself the person she wanted to see in you. All the best!” she said smiling at him.
She turned and left from there. He kept looking the way she went and his mind ringed with her words again. He immediately took his phone and called Ragini.
“Hello!” She said with still sad voice.
“I am sorry! Please don’t be upset. I am trying to change. I need sometime but I will change. I will become the person you wanted me to see. But you promise me you will be my support!” he asked.
“I was always there for you. It was you who left me!” she said with hurt voice.
“You only told na that I was immature. Then why are you still blaming me. Blame my immaturity.” He said whining.
She wanted to laugh but she didn’t remembering all those things.
“Ok now you won’t laugh also. I understood you are very angry. But I will make it up with you. I understood what to do now.” He said determined.
“Bye!” she said and cut the call.
Bye he said to himself. “Try! You know trying is not wrong!” these words rang in his mind.
“I will try to gain you still Ginu because I Love You! I don’t want to feel that I left the last chance which Laksh has given me. But I will make sure that this doesn’t hurt either you or anybody including Laksh. I did mistakes and it takes time for me to get over completely. I realised that I did everything which hurt you. Atleast now I will try to make you happy.” He said to himself walking determined towards his car.
The habit of not hiding anything from her has made him realise his mistake very soon but he is still not ready to lose her. He will stay around her and try to gain her but does he know that he is going to fail miserably in front of RagLak's love for each other and end up himself adoring their love taking them as inspiration in loving someone.
Author’s POV ends.
****
This is to show what actually Shivam is. He is a very good hearted person but his different kind of obsession towards Ragini and due to Ragini’s condition he had changed. He is someone who could not see Ragini hurt. Her tears made him weak. He realised that he just hurt her in every way. But he didn’t give up his love because it is not just love but a different kind of obsession which will not go just like that. He is going to change for good.
And in all these he is going to meet his soulmate. And you got a glimpse of her.
About the rituals I am not showing them very deep because I don’t want to bore you and also few things I myself don’t know 🙈😂. I will try my best to give the main picture of the rituals and also trying not to bore you guys.
Hope you liked the update. Thank You for reading.
With Love
Dharani (Dhaరणि)