(A/N: So since this episode likes to flashback and through different point of views as they explain what happened to Bobby, here's what I'm gonna do. The bold paragraphs are gonna be in Dean's point of view. The italics paragraph are gonna be in (y/n)'s point of view. The bold italics paragraph are gonna be Sam's point of view. I forgot how crazy this episode is until I watched it the other day and this was the best way of writing it I could think of. Anyway, that is all and I hope you guys enjoy!)
Sam and I were sitting on the couch, looking through books, when he rubs his face tiredly. Dean was sitting up on the bed behind us, listening to the radio and eating from a disposable plate. "Dude. You mind not eating those on MY bed?" Sam asked, annoyed. "No, I don't mind." Dean said as he continues to eat.
"How's research going?" He asked us and I sighed in annoyance. "You know how it's going? Slow. You know how it would go a heck of a lot faster? If (y/n) and I had our computers." Sam shouted at him and Dean nods, sarcastically.
"Can you turn that down please?" I asked him, gesturing towards the radio. "Yeah, absolutely." Dean said and he turns the music up louder and I sit still, annoyed again. "You know what? Maybe, uh, maybe you should just go somewhere for a while." I said to him and he shuts off the radio and looks up, snappish. "Hey, I'd love to. That's a great idea. Unfortunately, my car's all screwed to hell." He said as he glares at me. "Dean, I told you, I have nothing to do wi—" I started to explain when I was cut off by a loud knock on the door.
Sam stands and goes to the door; he looks through the peephole and then back at us, then opens the door. "Hey, Bobby." Sam said as Bobby comes through the door. "Boys. (Y/n)." He greets and Dean and I approach him. "Hey, Bobby." We greet.
"It's good to see you again so soon." Bobby said. "Yeah, uh, thanks for coming. Come on in." Sam said as Dean shakes Bobby's hand, firmly. "Thank God you're here." Dean said. "So um, what didn't you want to talk to me on the phone about?" Bobby asked. "It's this job we're working. We— We weren't sure you'd believe us." I said and Bobby scoffs. "Well, I can believe a lot." He said.
"Yeah, no, no, it's just, we've never seen anything like it—" Sam said as I shake my head. "Not even close." Dean said. "And we thought we could use some fresh eyes." I said and Bobby looks between us. "Well, why don't you begin at the beginning?" He asked.
"Yeah, um, all right." Sam said and he gestures to the bed. Bobby picks up the empty takeout tray and peers at it, sets it aside, and sits down. "So, it all started when we caught wind of an obit. See, a professor took a nosedive from a fourth story window, only there's a campus legend that the building's haunted. So we pretexted as reporters from the local paper." Sam begins to explain.
Sam and (y/n) were sitting at a table with a stocky jock boy, Curtis, and an attractive girl, Jen. Sam sets a voice recorder down on the table before they began the interview. "Yeah, we both had the professor for Ethics and Morality." Curtis said.
"Yeah? So why do you think he did it?" (Y/n) asked them. "Who knows? I mean, he was tenured, wife and kids. His book is like a really big deal. Then again..." Jen said then she leans in conspiratorially. "Who's to say it was suicide?" She asked, making her friend scoff. "Jen, come on." said Curtis.
"Well, what else could it be?" Sam asked, feigning surprise. "Well, you guys know about Crawford Hall?" Jen asked Sam and (y/n). "No, we don't, actually." (Y/n) replied. "It's a bunch of crap, it's a total urban legend." Curtis said. "Yeah well, Heather's mom went to school here, and she knew the girl?" Jen said and Sam and (y/n) look between the kids.
"Wait, what girl?" (Y/n) asked. "Thirty years ago, this girl was having an affair with some professor. He broke it off, she jumped out the window and killed herself." Jen replied. "You know her name?" Sam asked. "No. But they say she jumped from room six-six-nine. Get it? You turn the nine upside down?" Jen said, snickering, and Sam and (y/n) nod while Curtis laughs.
"So now she haunts the building. And anyone who sees her? They don't live to tell the tale." Jen explains. "Well if no one lives to tell the tale, then how does the tale get told?" Curtis asked. "Curtis! Shut up!" Jen yells.
"You know what, uh – Thanks a lot guys. Excuse us." Sam said and he nods at (y/n) and they get up.
Elsewhere in the bar, Dean picks up one of the three shot glasses, filled with dark bluish-purple liquid, then slams all three in succession. Sam and (y/n) approaches. "Dean. Dean, what are you drinking?" Sam asked as Dean burps. "I don't know, man, I think they're called purple nurples?" Dean replied, chuckling.
"Okay, well listen. Sam and I were thinking maybe we should go check out the professor's office." (Y/n) said to him. "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no I can't right now, I've got some feisty little wildcat on the hook, I'm about to – zzzzp – reel her in. I'll introduce you guys." Dean said and a heavily made up blonde girl, sloppily drunk and wearing fishnet stockings and a tight miniskirt, walks up behind him.
"Dean—" Sam and (y/n) said, exasperated. "Starla! Starla, hey. These are my shuttle co-pilots Major Tom and Major Val. Major Tom and Val, Starla." Dean introduced as Starla draps an arm around Dean "Enchanté." She said, smiling. "Hi." Sam and (y/n) greet, unsure
Starla begins to gag, cover her mouth, then looks up grinning. Sam and (y/n) look really skeptical and dubious at her. "Sorry. Just trying to keep my liquor down!" She said, laughing. "Yeah! Good job." Dean said to hef then he turns to Sam, confidentially. "Hey. Good news. She's got a sister." He said and he leans back into Starla's arm again, both of them grinning suggestively.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a minute." Dean said. "What?" Sam asked. "Come on, dude, that's not how it happened." Dean said to him. "No? So you never drank a purple nurple?" I asked him. "Yeah, maybe that, but I don't say things like feisty little wildcat. And her name wasn't Starla." Dean said, offended.
"Then what was it?" Sam asked him and Dean sits there and thinks. "I don't know." He said then he turns to Bobby. "But she was a classy chick. She was a grad student, anthropology and folklore. We were talking about local ghost stories." He said as Bobby listens.
The girl, now wearing black heels and a sleek black cocktail dress, and Dean each hold a purple nurple and toast with them. "Here's to..." the girl said until Dean finishes it. "Here's to us." He said and they toast. "My God, you are attractive." The girl compliments.
"Thanks. But no time for that now. You need to tell me about this urban legend. Please. Lives are at stake." Dean said to her. "Sorry, I just...can't even concentrate. It's like staring...into the sun." She said then she reaches up and pulls his head towards her for a slow kiss.
Sam approaches behind them with an extremely dubious expression and his jacket slung over his shoulder. "Dean! What do you think you're doing?" He asked in an exaggerated prissy tone and Dean breaks away from the kiss to turn to his brother.
"Sam, please. If you wouldn't mind, give me five minutes here." He said in a very smooth and casual voice. "Dean, this is a very serious investigation. We don't have any time for any of your blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah Blah!" Sam said and Dean leans into kiss the girl again as Sam continues blabidiblahing behind him.
"Right! And that's how it really happened." Sam said, sarcastically, as Dean shrugs. "I don't sound like that, Dean!" Sam shouts. "That's what you sound like to me." Dean said and I scoff. "And where was I, smart guy?" I asked him. "Probably hooking up with a guy at the bar." Dean said, shrugging, and my jaw drops slightly. "Oh, is that what you think of me?!" I asked, angrily.
"Okay. What's going on with you three?" Bobby asked us. "Nothing. No— it's nothing." Sam replied, quickly. "No, come on. You're bickering like an old married couple but with three people." Bobby said as Dean gets up and crosses over to the kitchenette. "No, see married couples can get divorced. Me and these two, we're like, uh, Siamese triplets." Dean said.
"It's conjoined triplets!" I shouted af him, annoyed. "See what I mean?" Dean said and I rolled my eyes. "Look, it, we've just been on the road for too long. Tight quarters, all that. Don't worry about it." Sam said to Bobby after he let's out a sigh. "Okay." Bobby said, still concerned but continues to listen.
"So anyway. We figured it might be a haunting, so we went to check out the scene of the crime." I explained.
The Janitor lets Sam, (y/n) and Dean, now posing as electricians, into the professor's office. "So, how long've you been working here?" Sam asked. "I've been mopping this floor for six years." the janitor replied as he turns on a light as the four walk into the professor's office. "There you go, guys." He said and hd sees Sam's EMF reader.
"What the heck's that for?" He asked. "Just find a wire in the walls." Sam said. "Huh. Wow. Not sure why you're wiring up this office. Not gonna do the professor much good." said the Janitor. "Why's that?" Dean asked. "He's dead." The janitor said, bluntly.
"Oh. What happened?" (Y/n) asked. "He went out that window. Right there." the janitor said as he points at the window behind the desk. "Yeah? Were you working that night?" Sam asked. "I'm the one who found him." said the janitor.
"You see it happen?" (Y/n) asked as Dean sees a bowl of nuts on the side table and eats one. "Nope. I just saw him come up here, and uh...well." the janitor said as he grimaced. "What?" Sam asked. "He wasn't alone." The janitor said as Dean comes up next to (y/n), his cheeks stuffed with nuts and he was holding the bowl.
"Who was he with?" Dean asked, muffled.
"Come on! I ate one, maybe two!" Dean yells at me and I roll my eyes again. "Just let me tell it, okay?" I said and Dean scoffs at me.
"He was with a young lady. I told the cops about her, but uh, I guess they never found her." The janitor said. "You saw this girl go in, huh? But did you ever see her come out?" Sam asked him. "Now that you mention it, no." The janitor said, slightly shocked. "You ever see her before, around?" (Y/n) asked. "Well, not her." he said.
"What do you mean?" Dean asked, his mouth still full of nuts, and Sam and (y/n) glare at him. "I don't mean to cast aspersions on a dead guy, but uh...Mister Morality here? He brought a lot of girls up here. Got more ass than a toilet seat." The janitor said and Dean, laughs delightedly, while Sam glares and (y/n) runs her hands over her eyes and the Janitor grins.
"One more thing. This building, it only has four stories, right?" Sam asked. "Yeah." replied the Janitor. "So there wouldn't be a room six-six-nine?" Sam asked him. "'Course not. Why do you ask?" The janitor asked. "Aw, just curious. Thanks." Sam said as Dean chews with his mouth open, stuffed full of nuts.
The trio return to the hotel and Sam and (y/n) sit at the table; Dean gets a beer out of the fridge for each of them. "Well, no traces of EMF, that's for sure." Sam said, disappointed. "And the room six-six-nine's a load of crap." Dean said. "So what do you think? The professor's just a jumper? A legend's just a legend?" (Y/n) asked. "I don't know. I mean, the uh, girl the janitor described, that's pretty weird." Dean said.
"Yeah." Sam and (y/n) said, in unison.
"We oughta check out the history of the building. See if any co-ed ganked herself there." Dean said as he heads to the bathroom. "Yeah, you're right." I said as Sam opens up his laptop, then stares at the screen, confused. "Dude. Were you on my computer?" He asked and Dean comes back out of the bathroom, confused.
"No." Dean said. "Oh really? 'Cause it's frozen now. On uh, Bustyasianbeauties.com." Sam said. Dean thinks for a moment, frowns, winces, and retreats. "Dean! Would you – just – don't touch my stuff anymore, okay?" Sam shouts at him. "Why don't you control your O.C.D.?" Dean calls out to him.
"But did you dig up anything about the building? Or on the suicidal co-ed?" Bobby asked us. "No. History's clean." Sam said. "Then it's not a haunting." Bobby said. "Maybe not. Tell you the truth, we're not really sure." I said to him.
"What do you mean, you're not sure?" Bobby asked. "Well...it's weird." Sam said. "What's weird?" Bobby asked. "This next part, we uh, we didn't see it happen ourselves exactly, but it's pretty friggin weird. Even for us." Dean said.
Curtis walks alone through the campus when he hears a noise. He turns, startled, then keeps walking, laughing at himself when he hears another noise and stops, looking straight up. He walks more carefully, hands in pockets.
Suddenly a bright light whooshes on overhead and he cringes, arms over his head. He starts running, but trips and falls; a bright beam of light shoots down and grabs him like a tractor beam, pulling him up. He screams and flails.
"Aliens?" Bobby asked, confused. "Yeah." Dean said as we give Bobby the I told you so look. "Look, even if they are real, they're sure as hell not coming to earth and swiping people." Bobby said to us. "Hey, believe me. We know." I said.
"My whole life I've never found evidence of an honest-to-God abduction. It's all just cranks and pranks." Bobby said. "Yeah, that's what we thought. But...we figured we'd at least talk to the guy." Sam said.
Dean and (y/n) were seated next to Curtis, who has three full shot glasses lined up in front of him. Sam is standing nearby as Curtis takes a shot. "Hey, you ought to give those purple nurples a shot." Dean said and (y/n) punches his arm, making him shut up.
"So, what happened, Curtis?" (Y/n) asked him. "You won't believe me. Nobody does." Curtis said, upset. "Give us a chance." Sam said and Curtis looks down and sighs. "I do not want this in the papers." He said to us. "Off the record, then." Dean said and Curtis nods.
"I, uh...I blacked out, and...I lost time, and when I woke up, I don't know where I was." Curtis said and he explains how he was on a medical table, bright lights shining on him then seeing the face of an alien appearing above him.
"Then what?" Sam asked as he sits down. "They did tests on me. And, uh..." Curtis stammers then takes another shot. "They, uh...They probed me." He said and Sam turns his face away, struggling not to laugh, while (y/n) raises an eyebrow at him.
"They probed you?" Dean asked Curtis. "Yeah, they probed me. Again and a— Again and – And again." Curtis said then he takes another shot. "And again and again and again... And then one more time." He said.
"Yikes." Dean mutters. "And that's not even the worst of it." Curtis said. "How could it get any worse? Some alien made you his bitch." (Y/n) said and her and Dean smirk until Curtis glares at them.
"They...They made me...Slow dance!" Curtis exclaims and the trio exchange confused but shock looks.
"You guys are exaggerating again, huh?" Bobby asked us. "No no." I said, shaking my head. "Then this frat boy's just nuts." Bobby said. "We're not so sure." Dean said.
The trio stand over a large, perfectly round scorch mark in the ground. "I'm telling you, Dean, This was made by some kind of jet engine." Sam said. "You mean some saucer-shaped jet engine?" Dean asked him. "What else could it be?" (y/n) asked as the three look at the mark and try to think.
"What the hell?" Dean asked. "I don't know." Sam and (y/n) said. "Seriously, guys– What the hell?" Dean asked, confused. "I don't know." Sam said, shrugging. "I mean, first the haunting. Now this? The timing alone – There's got to be some kind of connection." (Y/n) said, as she thinks. "You mean between the angry spirit and the sexed-Up E.T.? What could the connection possibly be?" Dean asked.
"But what could we do? So we just kept on digging." Dean said to Bobby and he continues with the story.
"So, you and this guy, Curtis – You were in the same house?" (Y/n) asked this other kid after the three meet up with him. "Yeah." The kid said. "You heard what happened to him, right?" Dean asked. "Yeah, he says it was aliens, but, you know, whatever." the kid said.
"Look, man, I – I know this all has to be so hard." Sam said in an exaggerated concern. "Um, not so much." the kid said. "But I want you to know...I'm here for you. You brave little soldier. I acknowledge your pain. Come here." Sam said and he grabs the kid in a hug. "You're too precious for this world." He said, softly.
"I never said that!" Sam shouts at Dean. "You're always saying pansy stuff like that." Dean said and I shake my head.
"Well, um...Yeah, uh, thanks." The kid said and Sam releases him. "Thanks for the hug, but, uh, I'm okay. Really. To tell you the truth, whatever happened to Curtis, he had it coming." The kid said.
"Why is that?" Dean asked him. "He's our pledge master. Put us through hell this semester, and got off on it. So now he knows how we feel." The kid replied and Sam keeps giving a worried and concerned look at the kid. "It's okay." Dean said.
"Still doesn't make a lick of sense. But, hey, at least there's one connection." Dean said as the three return to the hotel. "Between what?" (Y/n) asked. "The victims. The professor and the frat guy – They're both dicks." Dean replied.
"That's a connection?" Sam asked. "You got anything better to go on, I'd love to hear it." Dean said as (y/n) looks in her bag. "Where's my laptop?" She asked. "I don't know." Dean said as (y/n) continues to search, getting more frustrated.
"Think about it. A philandering professor gets a dead girl. A pledge master gets hazed." Dean said. "I left it in here." (Y/n) said as she continues to look for her laptop, Sam helps her. "You obviously didn't. I mean, these punishments—they're almost poetic. Actually, it'd be more like a limerick, but still–" Dean said and (y/n) approaches Dean.
"Okay, hilarious. Ha ha. Where'd you hide it?" She asked, annoyed. "What, your computer?" Dean asked. "Yeah, where'd you hide it?" She asked. "Why would I take your computer?" Dean asked her.
"Because no one else could have, Dean! We keep the door locked. We never let any maids in." (Y/n) yells. "Looks like you lost it, Poindexter." Dean mutters.
"Dude, you know something? We put up with a lot from you." Sam yells. "What are you talking about? I'm a joy to be around." Dean said. "Yeah? Your dirty socks in the sink, your food in the fridge." (Y/n) yells.
"What's wrong with my food?" Dean asked. "It's not food anymore, Dean! It's Darwinism. All we ask from you, the one thing, is that you don't mess with mine and (y/n)'s stuff!" Sam yells and Dean just stares at him. "You done?" Dean asked.
"You know, how would you feel if I screwed with the Impala?" (Y/n) asked him and Dean glares at her. "It'd be the last thing you ever did." He said in a low voice.
"Did you take her computer?" Bobby asked Dean. "Serves her right, but, no." Dean said. "Well, I didn't lose it. 'Cause I don't lose things." I said to him, angrily. "Oh, that's right, yeah, 'cause she's Lil' Miss Perfect." Dean said and I scoff. "And I didn't take it either. In fact, my laptop is missing as well." Sam said.
"Well I didn't take that either!" Dean said and Bobby shakes his head. "Okay, okay. Why don't you just tell me what happened next?" Bobby asked us. "There was one more victim." Dean said. "Right. Now, we, we didn't see this one ourselves, either. We kind of put it together from the evidence. But this guy – He was, uh, he was a research scientist. Animal testing." Sam explains.
"Yeah, you know – a dick. Which fits the pattern." Dean said.
The Research Scientist leaves a campus building, heading towards the street when he sees something shiny in the gutter and stops. He looks around cautiously, then gets down on hands and knees to see it better. It is a gold watch. He smiles and looks excited.
He gets all the way down and sticks and arm through the gutter bars, trying to reach it. He struggles when something grabs him. He begins screaming and struggling as blood spatters on his face.