Back at the bar, Jamie and I were sitting at a table when the boys walk over to us. "Hey. You guys all right?" Dean asked as he comes up to me. "Yeah, I think so. And I think I know what's going on." I said and I put a folded towel on the table. "Yeah?" Sam and Dean said, cautiously.
"Part of it, at least." I said and Sam opens the towel to see Dracula's ear. "Uh, the ear part?" Sam asked as Dean looks taken aback by this. "Ripped it off of Dracula's head." I said and they look at me impressed. "Touch it." I tell them and they touch the ear and they let out a noise of disgust.
"Feel familiar to you?" I asked them. "Oh, man." Sam mutters. "Skin of a shapeshifter." Dean said and I nod. "Just like St. Louis and just like Milwaukee. Of course this one's all holding buckets of crazy. Oh, and, uh..." I said and take out a medallion from my pocket and gives it to Sam.
"This, I uh, pulled it off during the fight. Look at the label on the ribbon." I said and Sam and Dean look at the label, which reads THE FX SHOP PROPHOUSE PHILADELPHIA, PA.
"It's a costume rental." Sam said and I nod. "All three monsters - the Dracula, Wolf Man, and the mummy -- all the same critter, which means we need to catch this freak before he Creature From the Black Lagoons somebody." I said as I notice Jamie looking between us.
"So, you guys are like Mulder and Scully or something, and The X-Files are real?" she asked us. "No, The X-Files is a TV show. This is real." Dean said. "Oh." Jamie said and she looked overwhelmed. "Okay, so, the stagecraft, the costuming…it's like he's trying to re-enact his favorite monster movie moments, right down to the bloody murders." Sam said.
"Wait a second. Who the hell is Mina?" Jamie asked. "Mina?" Sam asked and I nod. "Yeah. That's what he called Jamie. And he called me Ms. Harker." I said. "Well, Ms. Harker is actually Mr. Harker as in Jonathan Harker. They're characters from the movies and the novels -- Mina, Dracula's intended bride, Harker the fiancé that stands in the way. He must've had to improvise since you're a girl." Sam explains then he looks over at Jamie.
"Seems like he's fixating on you, like he sees you as his bride." he said. "Wow. Lucky me." Jamie said, sarcastically. "But to fixate on you, my guess is that the shifter has to have seen you before or been around you." Dean said and Sam nods then I turn to Jamie.
"Jamie, has anybody strange come to town, somebody that has taken a specific notice of you?" I asked her. "I don't know, (y/n). It's Oktoberfest. I'm a bartender. There's lots of people. I..." she stops. "...wait a second. There is Ed." She said. "Ed Brewer Ed?" Sam asked. "Yeah. He moved here about a month ago. Lucy swears he has a crush on me. He comes in almost every night. But, you know, I don't think he's the type of guy –" Jamie starts to explain but Dean talks over her.
"Where does Ed live?" he asked. "I don't know. But he works at the old movie theater. I think he's the projectionist there." she said and the boys look over at me. "Take care of Mina?" Sam asked me and I nod. "Yep." I said and Dean goes up to me. "Be careful." He said and I smile. "Of course." I said then Dean leans in and gives me a kiss. I kiss him back then he and Sam leave.
Later, Jamie begins to pace in front of the booth I'm sitting in. "So, monsters are real." she said, still trying to process what she learned. "Some of them, yeah." I said. "And the shapeshifter, he can turn into different people." she said. "Yeah. Yeah, except this one's turning into the great monsters of screenland, which is a new one for me." I said.
"You're not really FBI, are you?" she asked me and I shake my head. "Not so much." I said "So, this is what you do? You and your partners just tramp across the country on your own dime until you find some horrible nightmare to fight?" she asked me.
"Some people paint." I said, shrugging. "Wow." she said, shocked. "What?" I asked her. "That must suck. I mean, you're giving up your life for this terrible...I don't know, responsibility." She said and I shrug. "It’s not so bad. We help people. Not only help them, we save them. It's pretty sweet. It's kind of like a gift...like a mission. Kind of like a...a mission from God." I explain as Jamie sits across from me.
"So, does that make you...some kind of monk or something? You know, celibate?" she asked me and I snort out a laugh. "No, although I feel like since these last few months." I said. "I guess that has to do with Dean?" She asked me and I nod.
"Yeah...we've been work partners for a couple of years then we became a couple and...well, something happened to him where he was gone for a few months. I thought he was dead. But then he came back and now it's just...I don't know a bit weird between us. I still love him and care about him but...I don't know about him. He'll kiss me but that's as far as he'll go." I said and Jamie frowns. "That sucks, girl." She said as she places a hand over mine. We share a smile but then the lights come on and we look over and see a blonde woman come in and she jumps when she sees us.
"Holy crap. Oh, my God. Jamie. Guys, I'm -- I'm sorry. I thought you guys were going out." she said. "Lucy, it's -- it's okay. Uh, listen –" Jamie tries to explain but Lucy raises a hand. "You know what? I just -- I came to borrow a bottle. I kind of got something going back at my...Anyway, uh, you guys look really busy, so I'm just gonna get out of your hair." Lucy said as she grabs a bottle and tries to leave.
"No, seriously, Lucy, it's been a crazy night. Stay for a drink." Jamie said and I nod. "Yeah. Stay for a drink." I said and Lucy smiles.
Later, Jamie, Lucy and I were all sitting around the table and Jamie explains to her what happened while Lucy poured us all a drink. "Oh, that sounds awful. Jamie, honey, are you okay?" Lucy asked her. "Oh, I am fine. He didn't even touch me. (y/n), she just blew right in and fought him off." Jamie said as she nods at me. "Well, I didn't actually fly, but I'm sure it seemed that way at the time." I said as Lucy blots her lipstick on a napkin.
"It was really, really something." Jamie said then she started to act like she was woozy. "Jamie?" I asked her, worried, but then I started to feel like my head was swimming. "So, (y/n), are you like a black belt or what?" Lucy asked me as I look at my glass, it swims before my eyes.
"Well, I guess they train you to fight at the academy or whatever." Lucy said with a triumphant smile. I lean across and punch Lucy as I push Jamie out of the way. "(y/n), what are you doing?" Jamie slurred, questioning, then she passes out, falling back down into the booth.
"It's you, isn't it?" I asked Lucy as I glare at her. Lucy pushes her jaw back into place and I kick her again but I start to stumble around and my head start to hurt. "Oh, damn it! What did you put in our drinks?!" I asked as I smash a bottle on the edge of table. "That's all right. I'll skin you myself." I said but then next thing I knew my vision goes black.
I groan and slowly open my eyes as my vision was blurry for a moment. Once my vision clears up, I realized that I was in a dungeon and I start to move but noticed that I was strapped to an upright table. Then I look down and noticed, for some damn reason, I was wearing lederhosen.
"Oh, come on." I said, exasperated, then I look around and notice a portrait of a woman’s face on the wall. As I kept staring at it, I realized that the woman looked an awful like Lucy.
"She is beautiful, no?" A voice asked and I look the other way to see Dracula walking up next to me. "Bride number three from the first film. She never got the acclaim that she deserved. Which is why I chose her shape, her form, to move among the mortals unnoticed. To listen to the cricket songs of the living. That is when I discovered my bride had been reborn in this century." He explains and I shake my head.
"I can't get over what a pumpkin-pie-eyed, crazy son of a bitch you really are. You're not Dracula! You get that, right?" I said and he glares at me. "Or even if you think you are Dracula, what the hell's up with the mummy?!" I asked then Dracula punches me in the face
"Agh, bitch!" I shout as I spat out blood. "I am all monsters!" Dracula exclaims. "Life ain't a movie, you sorry sack of –" I growled then he punches me again. I groan and cough before he continues. "Life is small. Meagre. Messy. The movies are grand, simple, elegant. I have chosen elegance." He said
"You think elegance is really the word for what you did to Marissa, or Rick Deacon, or any of the others?!" I asked him, angrily. "But of course. It is a monster movie, after all." he said. "You do realize what happens at the end of every monster movie?" I said, questioning. "Ah, but this movie is mine. And in it, the monster wins. The monster gets the girl. And the hero or...well in this case, heroine, she’s...electrocuted. And tonight, Jonathan...oh excuse me, Joan Harker, you will be my heroine." Dracula said and he puts his hand on a large lever on the wall and I chuckle, nervously.
"W-w-wait, wait, wait." I stammer, panicked, and I struggle to escape and he was about to pull the lever but the doorbell rings. "Please, excuse me." Dracula said and he leaves. I let out a sigh of relief at this and lay my head back.
"What the hell am I gonna do?" I asked myself as I look around for something or anything. I struggle against the restrains but nothing and I grumble a few curse words under my breath.
I began to panic a bit as I didn't know when Dracula would come back, even though it has been awhile. I struggle some more then I hear some footsteps and I felt my heart race. But then I realized it sounded like more than one sets of feet.
At that moment, Sam and Dean come up to me. "Oh, thank God. Just in the nick of time. That guy was about to Frankenstein me." I tell them and they untie me. "Hey there, Hansel." Sam teases as I get off of the table.
"Shut up!" I growled. "I'm starting to think you need to wear shorts more often." Dean flirts and I turn to him. "You're so lucky I like you, or I'd roundhouse kick you now." I said then I gesture for the boys to kick the door.
Sam puts his foot through the door, punching a hole in it which made the entire door falls flat off its hinges. "Let's go." Dean said and we run.
We kept looking around the house and make our way upstairs and to a bedroom door. Sam opens the door and crosses to Jamie, who was lying on the bed. Then Dracula intercepts him from behind and throws him through the wall.
"You will never be Van Helsing!" Dracula yelled and Dean attacks him. "Neither will you!" Dracula shouts as he kicks Dean back and I run in and fight him. "And you, Harker, now you die." Dracula shouts, dramatically. "How 'bout now you shut the hell up?" I asked but then I was thrown on the ground.
Dracula raises his arms, about to go in for the kill, but then he was shot in the chest. I gasp as Dracula looks at his wound. "Silver?" He said, shocked, then he turns to see Jamie was the one who shot him. "It was beauty that killed the beast." Dracula said as Jamie looked upset about this. "No, Mina, do not weep." Dracula said as he falls into a chair.
"Perhaps this is how the movie should end." he said then he dies in the chair.
The next day, Jamie and I, back to wearing normal clothes, were walking around in the town square. "Well, that was probably the most action packed girl's night I've ever had." Jamie said and I chuckle. "Yeah, getting to shoot a shapeshifter that was a Dracula wannabe is gonna be hard to top." I said and she laughs.
"Well, thank you. You have been a great service to your country." Jamie said to me and I laugh. "Oh, yes, I'm very, very patriotic." I joked and we share a laugh as I hear footsteps behind me. I look over my shoulder and see Dean and Sam come up to me.
I turn back to Jamie. "Well, I guess this is goodbye." I said and she nods. "Come visit next time, okay?" She asked me. "I can't promise anything but...I'll try." I said and she nods. "Just keep those boys out of trouble, especially that one." She said and she points over at Dean. I laugh and said. "Oh trust me, they attract trouble wherever they go. I may need a leash for when that happens.”
She laughs at this then we smile. "Well, goodbye." She said and the two of us hug each other then once the hug was over, I walk over to the boys and we began to walk away. "You guys saved my life, you know? So, thanks." Jamie said and we turn to her and she smiles and nods at us before she leaves.
"I like her." Sam said as we walk towards the Impala. "Feels good to be back on the job, doesn't it?" Dean asked us and I nod. "Yeah, it does." Sam said. "The girl is saved, monster gets the gank. All in all, happy ending!" I said and Sam rolls his eyes and Dean shakes his head.
"Hey, all I'm saying is the shifter man had a point, you know? It would be nice if life was movie simple." I said and Sam shrugs. "Although, if I was turning life into a movie, I wouldn't do this Abbott and Costello meet the monster crap." Dean said.
"Yeah, no. I know what you’d pick." Sam said. "No, you don't." Dean argued. "Yeah, I do." Sam said. "No. You don't. You don't!" Dean exclaims and Sam and I share a knowing look. "Porky's II." I replied and Dean looks over at me while Sam laughs.
"What?" Dean asked me. "You heard me." I said and Sam nods. Dean looks between us then pouts. "Lucky guess." he grumbles and Sam raises a hand behind Dean towards me and I high-five him as we get to the Impala.