"What time is it in Singapore right now?" I ask my friends once Ophelia leaves us to go to the hospital wing.
"Haven't the foggiest," Annie says in a way that makes it sound like she's trying to be helpful.
"Alright well I'm gonna go call Freddie, I need his help with something," I say before excusing myself from the big group of Weasleys.
I walk for a bit and find myself outside the castle in between two of the greenhouses. Classes are over for the day so the area is essentially silent except for the birds and other wildlife. That and the little muggle radio that Professor Longbottom has in the professor's storage house.
I take my phone out and scroll through my contacts before pressing on Freddie's name and putting my phone to my ear.
One ring.
Two rings.
Three rings.
"What the literal fuck are you calling me for?" Freddie's groggy voice says on the other line.
"Did I wake you?" I ask.
Freddie yawns, "Did you wake me? It's four in the bloody morning! Course you fucking woke me. Someone better be dying Theo or I swear I'm going to wring your neck when I get home for Christmas." I can hear Evie's muffled voice in the background and Freddie says, "Naw love, nothings the matter. Sorry, I woke you."
"Freddie I –"
"Would you shut up and let me find somewhere quiet so I don't wake my bloody fiancé? Bad enough you woke me up and now you want to wake up my whole damn house." I can hear a door open and close and some shuffling. Then a sigh, "Right then, what's so important?"
"Fiancé?"
"Wut?"
"You called Evie you're fiancé not girlfriend."
Freddie doesn't say anything for a second, "If you tell anyone I swear to god..."
"You mean Mum and Dad don't know?"
"No one but Louis and Amar, and well you know. So shut your trap about it."
"Mums gonna have a fit and a half you know."
Freddie sighs, "If you just called me to get all my secrets then I'm going back to fucking bed..."
"Wait! Wait, Freddie! I need help."
I can hear the smile in his voice when he says, "Figured as much, not like you call me for a quick chat every day."
I sigh, "I think I have a date tomorrow."
"Shit eh! Look at you go."
"And I think I have a date the day after too."
"So someone wants to spend time with you? I don't see why this required a call at four in the fucking morning –"
"It's two different girls," I say quickly.
I don't have to see Freddie to know that his eyes just went wide and his mouth fell open, "Well shit."
"What do I do?"
"Wut?"
"Like, what do I do?"
"Don't call them by the wrong name for one."
I instinctively roll my eyes, "Freddie I'm serious. What do I do?"
"Do you... not want to have these two dates...?"
"I well – uh, uhm..."
"I'm not going to sit here for an hour waiting for you to learn how to form a sentence."
"You're meaner than I remember."
"IT'S FOUR," Freddie shouts, then he apparently remembers that Evie is asleep in the other room so he lowers his voice, "it's four in the morning. If you wanted happy Freddie you would have called at like noon."
"Sorry, sorry. I just didn't know that they were asking me on dates till it was too late and I already said yes to them both."
"They asked you?"
"Don't sound so surprised."
"I'm not – well okay I am but hey. Play the field."
"I'm not trying to play the field!"
"Says the one with two dates lined up."
"Freddie..."
"I mean if you wanted help with dating two girls at the same time you should have woken up James or Ophelia or summat."
"It's four in the evening here so I wouldn't have to wake either of those people up."
"It's four in the evening there and you thought it was smart to wake me up instead of talking to someone who's in the same time zone?"
"Well, you're my big brother. Aren't I supposed to talk to you about girls?"
Freddie sighs, "Yeah, yeah alright."
"Oscar says just to –"
"Who the fuck is Oscar?"
"My friend, anyways...."
"Is he er she, er... are they one of the people who asked you out?"
"What? No, I think he fancies Lucy but that's not the point, the point is..."
"You and Lucy both out here with significant others, well I'll be damned maybe it is time for me to come back to London."
"Godric Fred, would you just pay bloody attention?"
"Right sorry, who are the girls who asked you out so I don't get confused."
"Josie Carmody and Aphrodite Zabini."
Freddie laughs, "So Jason's kid, and Blaise's kid? Good luck and God bless."
"Anyways, Oscar says that I should just go with the one that I find most attractive..."
"This Oscar guy sounds like a great person to be dating Lucy. Might just have to invite him over for Christmas so he and I can have a chat."
"He's not dating Lucy. Christ Fred, why are you so frustrating?"
"Why are you waking me up at four in the morning? We all have questions."
I take a deep breath, trying desperately not to get annoyed with my brother. He does that all the time. He knows what gets me pissed off and he does everything in his power to get me in that mindset cause he thinks it's funny.
"But I don't like judging girls, or anyone for that matter, off of their physical appearance."
"Couse you don't."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"What? Nothing, just that you're a good human being."
"Okay," I shake off the strange compliment that he just gave me, "What do I do then? How do I figure out which one I fancy or even if I fancy them without being that person who dates more than one girl at a time?"
"Just talk to them bruv, get to know them as people before you start thinking of things like dating. Sometimes you are attracted to them physically before you're attracted to them mentally and sometimes it's the other way around. It's natural."
"So just talk to them?"
Freddie laughs and yawns at the same time, "That's what I just said, isn't it? Go on these dates, get to know them. If the vibes are right maybe give 'em a peck at the end of it and see which one you like the best. Someone who's good at snogging is very much an asset in any relationship."
"I don't want to hear about how good Evie is at snogging thanks."
"You sure? She's killer. She does this thing with her tongue..."
"Fred!"
"Sorry."
I take a second to recover from that, "How do you get good at snogging though?"
Freddie howls with laughter, "You snog a lot of people! But you're not going to nee to know all that if you're just giving them a peck goodbye."
"I'm not?"
"No! A peck is a kiss but a kiss isn't a snog you know?"
"No."
"Are you telling me you've never been kissed before?"
"I mean Josie pecked me on the lips few weeks back..."
"See! You know how to kiss then! And clearly she liked it cause she asked you out on a date! So if the vibes are right then just do it again."
"If the vibes are right, what does that even mean?"
I can hear Evie's muffled voice in the background then Freddie laughs, "They're going on their first date tomorrow." He says.
Then it's Evie on the phone, "Hi Theo bubba!"
"Hi, Evie." I really didn't want Evie to know all my business. I love her like I love my other sisters but some things should just be between me and my brother you know?
"Don't stress out about dates, they're super easy once you get talking about stuff." She says through the phone doing her best to be helpful.
"Yeah, talking seems to be the right course of action," I say but I don't think either of them is listening anymore. Evie squeals with laughter and Fred chuckles.
"We're gonna go back to bed. See you at Christmas!" Freddie says and Evie bursts into laughter again.
"I hope you realize that you were absolutely no help!" I say loud so that he can hear me over Evie's constant giggle.
"You're welcome!"