Play the song for a better experience :)
"Let's drive" He smiled pulling out his classic black sunglasses before turning to get in the car.
I walked to my side of the car, sitting down and watching as Harry slammed his door shut. He was quite an angry man sometimes.
I better not get fired for this. The last twenty four hours have been a train wreck. Emotionally and physically.
I felt like I had been tormented by my memories of the past and the struggle with addiction. Seeing Harry fighting the same fight I did broke a little piece inside of me.
I never want to see anyone suffer like I did. The fight lasts forever and if I could go back to the first time I tried the drugs, I wouldn't do it.
I would tell anyone that. It's not worth it. For the short time it's a distraction, there's a long run after that. It's like a race that never ends, there's no finish line.
On the positive side, I feel like I did something good helping Harry. I would've never dared to do something like that before but I just felt like I needed to.
I had a really nice time, it was kind of a relief to get some of that stuff off of my chest. For the past couple of weeks I've felt out of place. Like I didn't really belong here, which wasn't wrong, but I felt at place last night.
"You wanna pick the music?" He said snapping me out as he pulled away from the building. I looked over to see him staring out his window as he was driving.
"Sure" I smiled and reached for the cord he was holding in one of his hands.
"You better pick something good" He turned his head to look at me giving me a soft smile. That reminded me of River and it made me sad. I missed her a lot.
* Play song now for a little bit more fun*
"It's a good one." I said before scrolling through my playlist trying to find the perfect song. I knew which one I was looking for.
I pressed play before turning to him and giving him a smirk letting the music play softly in the background.
"Sex on Fire?" He asked looking at me through his sunglasses. I gave him a nod pursing my lips watching as he turned it up so the world around us was barely audible.
I loved this song, it reminded me of those corny movies where the main characters would have that perfect moment. It was a really good song though.
I watched as Harry drummed his fingers against the steering wheel to the beat, he knew the song which gave me hope in his music taste.
He lifted his arm pressing a button opening the sunroof and opening all the windows just letting the air breeze through the car.
Lay where you're layin'
I screamed the lyrics out just watching as Harry shook his head in disappointment. I know he likes this song, he just won't show it.
I know they're watchin'
I looked at him singing the lyrics in his face and he shook his head laughing. I was going to get him to sing this with me, I know he knows the words.
All the commotion
"Come on!" I said turning in my seat so I was facing him. "Sing it!"
He shook his head and laughed before turning to me as it was building up to the chorus. He was going to sing it, I could feel it.
"You!" I sung turning to him looking at him facing me and singing
"Your sex is on fire" We screamed the lyrics together.
I jumped up in my seat feeling accomplished getting him to sing with me. He looked at me with a face of happiness and jokingly disappointed.
I was hard to say no to, I knew I'd get him to sing with me. I looked at him just having the time of my life before standing up in my seat and letting my hair be blown in the wind of the sunroof.
"You're going to fall out of the car" I heard Harry yell through the loud music and I looked down at him shaking my head.
"I'll take my chances" I smiled before letting the music take over me like a wave of sunshine. It brought me happiness. Just driving down the road, hanging out and letting the music control me.
The wind blowing through my hair like a wave. My smile was growing over my face as I just took in the moment.
Feels like you're dyin'
As cheesy as it sounds, this song brought the best vibe or whatever the fuck people say these days. It was such a fun song.
"You!
Your sex is on fire"
I looked down at Harry to make sure he was singing, and in fact he was. He was just staring at the road screaming the lyrics.
"Consumed!
With what's just transpired"
Getting lost in music is my biggest distraction. Just letting the world slowly disappear around me, getting stuck in the feeling of the music. Even though it's only for a few minutes, I take it and I enjoy the distraction.
I dropped my arms just feeling lost. I felt Harry's harsh hand grab mine and I looked down to meet his eyes. He gave me a soft smile and I leaned my head back living in the moment.
I needed this. It's like a reality check with life but also a temporary fix in my life. It was one of those confusing moments that didn't really mean anything but yet it also meant so much to little broken pieces of me.
If it's just tonight
I didn't know how long Harry would be nice to me for, but I'd take it for as long as it lasts. Even if it's just for today. It's nice to have someone on my side for a few minutes.
I looked down at him, our hands still connected. He was gazing at the road, not noticing I was watching him. His hand caressed mine, the wind blowing through his hair as we drove down the long, never ending road.
I took a deep breath in, letting the fresh air intoxicate me like a drug. But this was a natural drug. A drug of freshness and relief, just letting me disassociate for a minute.
And you!
Your sex is on fire
The song was slowly approaching its end but I didn't let it end my happiness or freedom I felt in this moment. I probably had the dumbest looking smile on my face, but it was real. It was one of the first real smiles I have had in awhile.
The beat faded out and I stayed frozen in my spot. Just watching as the cars flew around us and we passed by the scenery nearby.
I took a breath, taking a breath of the moment that just occurred. Almost like keeping it inside of me forever.
"Get down from there!" Harry said, pulling my hand once the song ended. "You're going to die!"
"That'd be so sad" I said, squatting down to sit back in my seat and removing my hand from his grasp.
"Don't say that" His jaw clenched and he turned his focus away from me. "You shouldn't joke about that"
"I'm not afraid of death.." I spoke looking at him. "Are you?"
"I'm not" He turned back to look at me with a question emotion spread across his face. His face was always easy to read. "Why do you ask?"
"Just want to see if you're as much of a psychopath as I am" I joked reaching for the phone to play something else.
"Eh, I can confirm I am much more of a psychopath than you are." That probably wasn't true, and he didn't know it. If I wasn't more of one than he was I'd be very surprised. "Can I pick the next song?"
"Sure," I said noticing how quickly he wanted to change the conversation. "What do you want?"
"Dreams. Fleetwood Mac." He spoke simply playing with his lip between his fingers.
"Good choice" I smiled scrolling through my phone looking for the song he had requested.
I put it on, letting it play softly in the background as we drove. We were a little over an hour into the drive and had about four more to go.
It was a longer drive to Vancouver than the other stops were. I didn't mind long car rides like this, I actually enjoyed them.
I felt like they make up for some of the missed points in my childhood. I never went on vacations or fun road trips or anything like that. When I get to travel like this, it excites me.
I missed a lot of milestones when I was younger, that's why when I was finally free I made as much of an effort as I could to do those events.
I missed out on those boring typical things like school dances or sneaking out with friends. I did make up for them by doing better and bigger things.
Traveling was a huge one. I've been practically everywhere, that's a bonus of this job I guess, I get to travel.
There are a lot of things that will never be made up for, but I'm okay with that. I don't need those little accomplishments to complete my life.
"Want one?" Harry's voice pulled me out of my thoughts, once again. I looked over to see him holding out a pack of cigarettes with one lit in his mouth.
"Yeah.. sure" I said reaching for the pack he was holding out for me along with the lighter. It was that same white lighter with the butterflies. "Thank you"
I pulled out a cigarette, placing it in my mouth and lighting it. I watched as Harry took a long drag letting the smoke disappear into the air.
"What's up with the butterflies?" I questioned making his head snap towards me. "I just noticed the lighter and the tattoo, you seem to like them"
"Yeah, I do. They remind me of my sister" I noticed his grip on the steering wheel had tightened and his knuckles were white. "She uh.. she died"
"Oh.." I spoke quietly not really knowing what to say. I was so awkward in these types of situations. "I'm sorry"
"It's okay" He shrugged and looked back at the road, I could tell his mood switched and I actually felt bad. "It was a twisted situation, but it taught me a lot. It taught me to be strong."
I didn't look too much into the family history's files of the boys. Most people who worked in mafias had completely parted from their families. Either they didn't talk to them, they were dead, or even faked their own death.
"You're very strong for that" I grabbed his hand giving him a reassuring squeeze. "The death of a loved one is very hard, it takes a lot to overcome that."
"Have you ever lost a loved one?" He asked shyly, making me think back to my dad. He didn't deserve to die.
"Yeah.. my father," I said quietly as I started to think back to some of the moments I had with him. "I was seven, uh he was murdered"
I watched him die. It was when I was abducted. My father was a really good man, he wasn't involved in any of that sick shit. I honestly don't really know what happened. I just know I was tied up watching him be tortured to death and then I spent six years in my own personal hell.
"I'm sorry, I understand that." He sighed and squeezed my hand back. "That's also how my sister died. My mother did it"
Damn. That was some really deep shit and I don't know what I'm supposed to say. I knew he had a rough history, but his own mom murdered his sister? That must be so hard no wonder why he's fucked up.
"Damn" I said not really knowing what to say, I don't think I've ever been in this situation before. I don't normally have deep talks and tell people about my past, not even River knows my father was murdered. "You've come a really long way"
"Yeah I guess" He muffled under his breath. "You want to go get something to eat? We gotta fuel up before the show tonight."
"I'd love to," I smiled, understanding why he wanted to change the conversation. I think we both opened up a lot of our scars just now. "I'm starving"
Harry somehow knew where we were going as he drove into some small town on the way to Vancouver. I watched as he pulled into a McDonald's, I don't eat this kind of stuff so this would be fun.
"What do you want?" He asked as we pulled into the drive thru.
"Oh.. I've never had McDonald before" I pipped up not really knowing what to say.
"What the fuck? You're weird" He joked making me laugh. "I'll just get you what I get."
I gave him a nod deciding it was best to just let him pick than have me try and decide. After all, I didn't dislike much.
"No ketchup!" I said quickly as he pulled up to order. I absolutely despise ketchup. I've never had it but I know I don't like it.
"Can I get two ten piece chicken nuggets with two medium fries and two black coffees" I watched as Harry told his order to the machine. This was very healthy, great for my body.
The worker told us our total and Harry began to pull up. I leaned down to pull my wallet out of my bag, because this time it was on me.
"I'm paying this time" I stated when I pulled out my wallet.
"Why can't I pay like a gentleman?" He groaned and I laughed. "Plus I'm the one with a lot of money."
That's what you think, Harry. That's what you think.
"Hey.. what makes you think I don't have money?" I pouted to mess around with him.
"Well for starters you work for us" He laughed and I just shook my head. "I'm just kidding, you could probably be super rich and loaded or something like that."
"You have no idea how much I'm being paid" I was actually being paid a decent amount. It was like a shitload of money but it's more than if this wasn't a mafia related job.
"What's up with ketchup, what do you have against it?" He asked grabbing my card to hand the worked, he completely ignored her question asking how he was.
"Never had it" I shrugged my shoulders, taking my card back from him. "And you could be polite to the worker"
"What a weirdo, and why should I be nice?" He pushed back and threw a bag of food at me. "Eat your food"
I took the food out of the bag handing him his, a little surprised by his choices. I would expect a big murderer like him to be eating chicken nuggets. They were good actually, not something I'd eat often but I enjoyed them.
The rest of the drive went by pretty quick, we made little conversation here and there but for the most part he was back to his quiet self. I could tell something was getting in his head but I didn't know what.
Harry got into an argument with one of the workers at the border, so that was my entertainment of the day. I can't even remember why he was all pissed about it, it was something stupid.
Here we were now, Vancouver and ready for another show tonight. Rogers Arena, another show to come. I was really enjoying this actually, it was a lot of fun.
"Ready for another show?" Harry asked smiling at me when we pulled in front of the hotel
Authors Note
The next chapter is going to be the longest yet, it's also one of my favorites..