Empress

Cinder POV (Everything)

I run until my stomach hurts which means I run until I am sure Kai can't see me. I slow down breathing hard. Once I gather my breath enough I start walking back to my room glancing over my shoulder every few minutes to make sure Kai is not following. The traitor isn't following, the lier isn't following. And under normal circumstances I wouldn't have to use those words to describe Kai but....

Main point, he brought this upon himself, for the second time, alone. No help no accomplices, well maybe Thorne. But I doubt Thorne is that smart. 

I am lost, I trusted Kai, he abused my trust. I forgave him, trusted him again and here we are again. A broken relationship, again. So much fog it is hard to see the love right in front to of me. There are two ways to deal with this. I can wait until the fog clears or I can go on the offensive and make it clear. Blunt aggressive, I think I'll go with the latter. 

I turn the corner and the guard looks at me, a slight smile on his lips. I don't know why he's smiling. What is so funny about a pregnant woman being mad at her husband. A pregnant moody lunar, he really has no reason to be smiling or doing anything for that matter. Men really are just dumb.

You forgive them and they screw up again, how many times can you make the same mistake.

The guard pushes the door open for me, I opted not to get an ID chip. Excuse me if I don't want to be tracked like a child. 

I sit on the bed and sigh loudly. What do I do now? This is always the question and yet there is never an answer. Never. Which is why we keep going back to the past, replaying the same conflicts over and over.

I want to talk to someone but I want to be left alone. I want to be held but I want to be left alone. I want to be loved but I also would like to be left alone. The ancient philosophers were right when they said you can't have everything. You can be the Empress and still not have everything. It really is all just in your head.

Everything.

Everything is the truth. Everything is a lie. Everything, everything

Comment here if you read that book Everything Everything

But at some point I will have to talk to Kai so the question is. What to do now? Wait for him to come or go to him. 

I could go to him but that would make me look needy and vulnerable. I could wait but that would make me look ignorant and unloving. All of which I am not. 

Can you be bluntly passive aggressive?

I guess I should let Kai come to me, it seemed to work last time. 

Oh yeah, last time, the last time Kai didn't seem to learn. 

It's gonna be a bit different this time......

Kai let me just say I am scared for you and I control what happens here sooo

OH Cinder and her dark thoughts (But who thinks Cinder's thoughts? Me!!!)

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