Forever (Epilouge)

23

Colby and I were finally left alone in the room so we could love on Olivia.

"When do you think we should try to get Mia here?" Colby asked as I kissed Olivia's head and rubbed her back gently.  "I think we should wait until you're a little more healed, I don't want to scare her...but at the same time she's your kid so she's tough as nails." Colby said as I breathed a laugh.

"I just miss her." I whispered as Olivia fussed, "I miss her, too...maybe we can have her come in a little later." He said as I reached for the remote to the bed, which caused me to hiss in pain.

"Let me help you." Colby said and grabbed the remote for me. "I think she's hungry." I mumbled as she cried, "want me to call Meghan or Claire?" He asked as I bit my lip, "no, I think I can do it." I said and tried to sit up. It hurt like a bitch but I did it.

"Okay sweet pea, are you hungry?" I asked Olivia as I slowly pulled my gown down. She looked up at me and cried as I tried to teach her how to eat but she wasn't getting it. She wasn't latching on.

I felt the rain cloud rage on as the feeling of failure filled my chest. "Hey, hey...it's okay Cor. She just has to learn..let me call someone." Colby said as my lip quivered. "I can't even do this right.." I whispered as he pushed the call button. "Shhh, you're alright." He whispered and knelt down by the bed so he could comfort me.

"What's going on?" Meghan asked as she came in, "she won't latch on." I whispered feeling ashamed. "Oh! That's perfectly normal, Cor. She just doesn't know how to. She'll learn, but let's try again to see if she'll do it." She said then came over and changed the position as to how I was holding her.

I looked up at her and bit my lip as Olivia still refused to latch on. "I'm a shitty mother.." I whispered and pulled her away. "No, shut up. I'm not going to let you talk to yourself like that. She's only been fed with bottles so far so it's going to take a minute to learn. You're not a shitty anything, Cora." Meghan said sternly as she turned to grab a pump for me.

"She's right, Cor." Colby said and smoothed my hair down. "I...I just wish I could believe you." I whispered as Meghan pulled Olivia off of me and rocked her gently so I could pump her a bottle.

"You will, when you get some food in you and you rest you'll start to feel a little better." Meghan said as Colby stood up.

"That reminds me, I'm gonna text someone to bring us food, what would you like?" Colby asked as I sniffled, "uhh...chicken nuggets." I said as he grinned, "okay, chicken nuggets it is." He said then started typing in his phone as I leaned my head back and continued to pump.

After I filled the bottle Meghan laid Olivia in my arms again so I could feed her. I still couldn't shake the idea that I was a failure since I couldn't even do the one thing I was built to do.

It sucked.

Sam and Kat came in about 30 minutes later, just as Colby was finished changing Olivia's diaper. "Hey, special delivery." Sam said as he held up the bag of chick fil a. "Thank you so much." I groaned and snatched the bag from him as Kat gushed over Olivia.

"Oh guys, she's beautiful." She said as Colby gently placed her in her arms. "Thank you." I said quietly as I tossed Colby his chicken sandwich, "when was the last time you guys ate?" Sam asked as we scarfed down our food, "the Indian food you brought over." I said with food in my mouth.

"Holy shit!" Sam exclaimed as they sat down next to the bed. "Get ready for it. Hopefully you don't have a 28 hour labor though." I said as Olivia cooed in Kat's arms.

"I don't think I could survive a 28 hour long labor." Kat said and looked up at me with slight fear in her eyes. "I almost didn't." I said nonchalantly and popped a fry in my mouth.