Sanditon Season 2: The River and the Man

Chapter 61

Making her way back to the grand parlor Charlotte found Sidney standing as he looked out the large picturesque window.

"Mary is pleased you have renewed your acquaintance with her," he said turning, his hands behind his back. Carful that his expression was unreadable.

Charlotte nodded. "Yes, I was one of the first to call on them when they returned to Sanditon."

Sidney smiled slightly as he looked down. "Mary is quite restored to her contented disposition we all enjoy because of it," he said making his way the chair.

She went to sit and finish her tea. "When is your brother Arthur and Diana expected?" she asked.

"They made it in this morning. Both longing to see you after reading about you in the various papers circulating about the news of London," he said picking up his newly warmed tea that she had just poured.

She blushed. "Oh, I try not to read such things. It makes me concerned about how my parents feel about my adventures," she said picking up her cup.

After sitting stiffly long enough Sidney cleared his throat. "How are you Admiral Heywood?" he asked using his most affectionate nickname for her and she looked at him sadly but forced a smile.

"I am happier here" she answered. "I am certainly busy doing more sensible things than I was in London. I enjoyed the entertainments there, but I feel more useful to Lady Denham than I was to Lady Worcester." she smiled. "But I will be busier than ever in the next few weeks helping Esther in her position as hostess."

He looked her over sentimentally and nodded.

"How are you?" she asked him.

Sidney swallowed and a forced smile appeared on his face. "You know how I am," he answered. "Resigned to my fate."

She nodded. "Are you trying to love her?" she asked.

He shook his head. "She does not love, and I do not love her," he said simply and sighed. "Has young Stringer renewed his attentions to you?"

Charlotte swallowed nervously and nodded. "He has."

"Better him than Warrick," he said with regret.

She shook her head. "No offers have been made or rejected since London."

As he looked at her his demeanor relaxed as his eyes drank in her form before him. The way she held her cup, would that have been how she held it in their parlor? She would not have been so stiff and reserved. No, she would have been warm, and her smiles welcoming instead of guarded and hard-won.

"How do you find Waterloo Terrace?" she asked changing the subject.

He admired her ability to compose herself better than him. "The furnishings were expensive." he said with a measured tone, "But I can see those things as a benefit for the tenants to have something usable. They are also fashionable. Who chose the designs?" he asked.

Charlotte smiled. "Mary actually, I sent some samples to Esther and she agreed with what Mary chose and we went from there to the woodworkers and drapers," she said. "Do you think this will work?" she asked.

He swallowed and nodded. "Yes Charlotte, I think this will work."

She smiled and leaned back. "Good, because it was so very difficult to convince Lady Denham that letting potential tenants stay in the apartments before ever paying was a good idea. I do think she would send me home with a strongly worded letter against my family if I was wrong."

He leaned forward his eyes smiling realizing that the future success of Sanditon was every bit due to her as it was to Eliza's money. Maybe more since even with Eliza's money he had not figured out exactly how to move his project along despite going deeper into debt and shackling himself tightly to a woman he had known half of his life yet realized he had never really known at all.

"I should have known that was entirely your idea." he chuckled. "Tom always likes to take credit for everything. He said he gave Lady Denham the idea."

Charlotte laughed. "No indeed. Lady Denham won't let him discuss anything Sanditon related with her and does not even acknowledge him if he is around. Though I think that is more for her health than any reflection her inclinations towards him." she said nervously at the end.

He smiled knowing that discussing Tom's shortcomings had once been a sore spot for him. But not anymore.

After a long moment, he found himself staring at her. "You look..." he sighed. "Exceedingly well." he cleared his throat nervously.

She nodded. "Thank you. You too look much improved from the last I saw," she studied his lip and was saddened to see the shadow of a scar from his injuries weeks before.

He winced. "Ah yes,"

"So, you box?" she asked her eyes went sideways thinking of the conversation Sidney had in the Theater box weeks before. "Isn't that dangerous?"

Sidney nodded. "Indeed, on that particular night for me it was." swallowing hard he pressed on. "You see Charlotte, in the past, I have look for blood sport when I was angry, or frustrated, and that night after the ball where I saw you and held you. I was the most angry I had ever been," he confessed.

Charlotte looked around and could only see two footmen in the adjoining room.

"You didn't go looking to..." she started to ask but could not bring herself to say the words. "You were not trying to..."

He shook his head. "Die, no... I just wanted to hurt. I wanted to hurt someone else too."

Charlotte looked away and felt a tear come to her eye. "You shouldn't do that." she turned and glance back at him and blinked back tears.

It reminded Sidney too much of when she struggled to blink back her tears when he told her he had been obliged to marry Mrs. Campion. His jaw tensed as he sighed.

"Too many people count on you. Love you." she frowned. "You shouldn't be so reckless."

He nodded. "I don't intend on being so determined to find trouble again," he answered her. "Not for a while at least, as you say there are a few people who count on me."

She stiffened her spine and frowned at him. "I always thought you were the sensible brother." she looked him up and down. "Perhaps I was mistaken I think perhaps Arthur is the cleverest one of the three of you Parkers."

He smiled and laughed evoking a small laugh from her as they both looked at each other tenderly.

How on earth was he going to make it through without a scandal, he thought nervously.