Sanditon Season 2: The River and the Man

Chapter 28

Sidney had left his fiance's side ten minutes before and did not intend to be rushed back to it regardless of his promise of refreshment. At some point, she would look for him, but for now, he was on the hunt. His eyes scanned around as he thought about how to find Charlotte without seeming frantic and grabbing random dark-haired women to turn and face him to verify identity.

He had to get a good vantage to search and up on the balcony with the orchestra was just the ticket.

He dodged Mr. Crowe who tried to engage him in conversation but he just pushed the old friend back. "Sorry, I need-" he said dismissively and ran into a frustrating familiar face.

"Why, it isn't Mr. Sidney Parker?" Sir Edward Denham said sizing him up. "I see I have found another familiar face from Sanditon has joined the London season." He looked smug and self-assured. Mercifully not drunk.

Sidney sighed impatiently. "Sir Denham."

The insufferable man wrapped his arm around Sidney's shoulder. "Sir Denham, so formal. Edward my dear Sidney." he chuckled. "We are old friends are we not?" he asked self assuredly.

Sidney nodded curtly recalling his almost proposal to Charlotte that had been rudely interrupted by Sir Edward's unmannerly behavior at the Midsummer ball. It seemed that the events of that night had not brought him down a peg or two.

Time was of the essence and Sidney needed to see if she was here he thought as he still searched while he waited for his opening to excuse himself politely from the conversation.

"The Babington's I see are here," Edward said his eyes narrowing as he saw his dear step-sister sitting with her pup of a husband near at hand. "I see he has got her breeding," he said grossly.

Esther had spotted Edward and glared in a most feral way conveying in no other terms that she would destroy him completely if he so much as approached her in such a gathering. She whispered over her shoulder to her husband and had a look in his eye that could kill.

Sidney smiled and nodded. "It is happy news." his smile falling as Sidney could see a fire burning inside of Edward again and he hoped the man was not going to ruin another ball.

"Right, I suppose," Edward said grabbing a drink from a server. "Enough of my sister. Miss Heywood is here you know. She has made a high friend indeed." he said tipping the glass back. "Lady Worcester fair dotes on the little chit."

Sidney felt his stomach flutter at the verification that Charlotte was indeed there. Somewhere near.

"Apologies, I must-" he said leaving Edward's side and left the ballroom he was in and went up the wide stair narrowly being seen by Eliza who took to the air behind him.

Taking the steps two at a time he arrived up with the players and they nodded at him but kept on with playing as if not in the least distracted. Sheepishly he looked on from the edge of a pillar.

So many moved below and he could see the hair and all the brown heads among the crowd. He felt his heart hammer as he went to the other side to look at the second ballroom and his eyes focused on a lovely figure floating on the dance floor. Her dress was an interesting combination of silver and gold that shimmered under the lights of the candles and crystal of the room. Her form radiated light and brightness rendering him breathless a moment. He took in her form devouring every inch of her from this hidden place.

The smile that played on her face as she talked to her partner. Sidney's eyes shifted realizing this was the first that he took note of her partner. It was none other than the notorious Captain Aiden Warrick. He felt his stomach drop.

He had no occasion to dislike the man, on the contrary, he had the utmost respect and understanding of his shadier business dealings. But he was a rouge when it came to women. He had hundreds of broken hearts on account of his easy charms.

He could hardly breath seeing her now and in the arms of another. He knew she was likely to be at the ball, but to see her in the flesh was overwhelming.

Sidney's full attention was on her and how the light played against her youthful skin. In the near half a year since he had seen Charlotte she had the poise of a woman and not so innocent any longer. Maybe it was the hollow of her cheek or the sharper line of her chin she had the look of experience.

All it took was a single look at her and his mind wandered to places it shouldn't. Leaning his head against the pillar he tried to content himself with seeing her, watching her move, observing the curve of her neck as she turned this way and that...

He remembered that afternoon in Trafalgar House when he hesitated to tell her his ill tidings. He had wanted to memorize how she looked upon him one last time before he utterly destroyed what they shared.

Wiping his eye he cursed. Gentlemen didn't cry...

The dance had ended and he watched as another took her hand and led her in a lively dance and he was gifted with her laughter. He heard it over the crowd and he smashed his head against the stone.

He could not just stand there hiding behind a pillar watching her all night. He had to find a way to unroot his feet from the place they had planted and tear his eyes from her. But for the moment he stood, watching her float and prance while he felt in a trance of sorts.

He studied the delicacy of her movements and he remembered their last dance together and how he had finally opened himself up to enjoying a woman's touch and company instead of merely enduring it for the physical pleasures the women could provide. Her innocence rendered him speechless and he been unable to finish the steps as he longed to hold her close. They had committed a very public indecency on account of not spinning her from him in the final movements of the dance. He had instead held her close and he was not sorry for it.

He had but few half-stolen moments shared between them to look on between them and that was among the sweetest. It had been the moment he was just realizing where his feelings lay and then he saw Eliza and he became confused again. , Eliza's nervous smile had a similar effect on him initially and the magic of the moment he shared with Charlotte broke. Did she look on in confusion as he left to stand with another?

He again banged his head. So many missteps. Missed opportunities.