Chapter 5

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Standing on the doorstep she was ushered in by a tearful Mary. "Oh you just missed Sidney, he left this morning," she said. "I am sure he would have been glad you have returned to Sanditon. There is so much Tom would love your help with." She said dabbling her eye with a handkerchief. 

Charlotte smiled but felt uncomfortable now among her friends who once felt like family. Indeed they had almost been...

"I am sorry, I am not here long. I am being hosted with Lady Worcester for the season in London, then she wants to take me to Brighton to see her estate there then perhaps Bath." she smiled sadly. "I will be gone for a long time I expect. Near a year or more."

Mary looked heart broke. "Oh I am so disappointed." she winced. "Seeing you I had hoped you were back to stay. Tom is ever so busy with the rebuilding and Sidney is back and forth..." she shook her head. "But what a wonderful opportunity. You are very lucky to have secured her friendship. She is vastly influential. Every visit she makes here helps Toms endeavors so it is encouraging that she grows in attachment to the place and I suppose to you....Of course, if you still value Sanditon..."

Charlotte smiled reservedly. Her emotions were increasingly better controlled in the face of heartbreak. "I love Sanditon with all my heart," she whispered and then looked around. "Where are the children?" she asked longing to see them. To wrap her arms around them joyfully. 

Mary smiled. "Tom, he took them to the beach. They will return soon. Will you stay for dinner?"

Charlotte shook her head. "I would love to but I cannot stay late. I have to leave in the morning." she lamented.

Mary shook her head. "I must confess my dear I am ever so upset at Tom..." she whispered. "I fear I may never forgive him." She scoffed. "He still cannot see what has been lost. Just his precious Sanditon."

Charlotte shook her head and put down her cup. "Mary, no...don't say such a thing. It's in the past now."

She looked at her seriously. "I don't think Mrs. Campion is a good match for Sidney or our family. She is so cutting and dismissive of Tom and takes great pains to diminish us... But he never notices." she whispered. "Maybe I am wrong. I hardly know her..."

Charlotte smiled. "Trust Mr. Sidney Parker. He would choose a good sort of person. After all, she is keeping you from a terrible certain future. And he was once so much in love with her. I am sure he will be again."

Mary grabbed her hand. "He was going to ask you," she whispered. "I could sense it. He has not been happy in almost four months." she looked her over. "He looks like you...lost weight and I'm sure he is drinking too much again...Foul barking moods." she rolled her eyes. "Tom does not see it. He does not see how much Sidney has grown to loath him and this place. He sees what he wants to see."

Charlotte took her friend's hand. "Please... It pains me terribly to talk of what could have been. I am resigned and happy for your secured future as I am sure Mr. Parker is." she squinted in discomfort. "Can we not talk of Sidney again? Indeed I hope to not renew my acquaintance with him. I am sure Mrs.Campion would prefer it that way."

Mary reached over and grasped her hand as tears trailed down her face. "I know he broke your heart, but perhaps you could take some comfort that he broke his own as well," she said with a high pitched voice.

Charlotte felt the tears rushing to the back of her eyes. "Mary, please. I can't." she shook her head.

Mary sobbed. "Of course... I understand." She closed her eyes. "I have no one else to talk about my troubled heart and mind to. Tom would never understand and if he did it would destroy him." she blew her nose. "I am sorry to inflict the hurt of discussion on you."

Charlotte looked away and tried to take a sip of her tea but her own hand was shaking.

"How is your family?" Mary asked trying to change the subject.

Charlotte smiled and put down her cup. "Fine, well," she whispered in reply. Emotion and hurt clogged at her throat and found that she needed to make her excuses to leave even before the children could come back. She didn't want to see Tom right then and could not trust herself not to look at him with anger as the man who had been the catalyst to her unhappiness.

"Please give my apologies to the children. I have so missed them, but I find I am feeling unwell," she said touching her head. In truth, her heart was about to burst. Overwhelmed with so much information about Sidney was making her stays feel too tight even though they were far from that now she had lost so much weight.

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