Kpop Imagines |REQUESTS CLOSED|

Moon Taeil X Reader

warning: brief mentions of self-harm and mental illness

Neon lights stream through the window blinds, a cold breeze sweeps through the room. For a moment you forget about your racing heart. You close your eyes, shaky breaths escaping your lips as tears slip down your cheeks. These kind of nights were always the worst. You couldn't stop the feelings from absorbing you late at night, your clammy fingers brushing through the long strands of your hair as you tried your best to calm your rapidly beating heart. You tugged at the ends of your hair as you placed your head between your knees, a strangled gasp leaving your lips.

Panic attacks were the worst. The often occurred out of nowhere at any time of the day, sometimes a lot more common at night for you. Night was the worst. You could never stop your thoughts from racing through your head as you attempted to sleep. You changed from your sweats and baggy t-shirt to a pair of pajama shorts and one of Taeil's shirts, hoping that maybe the soft fabric would be enough to lull you to sleep.

You'd met Taeil through a close friend of yours. The two of you grew close over the course of a few months and eventually began dating, it's been a year. Since then Taeil has acustom to, not only your habits, but also your need for him. When you first began dating Taeil you'd been insecure, almost sure that he would leave you heartbroken in the end like your past boyfriend's had. Taeil assured you time and time again that he would never leave you. He was always there for you. Not once had he left your side in the toughest times over the course of the year. He was always there to calm you during your panic attacks, to put you to sleep with a soft lullaby, to protect you from yourself. Your past with the illness often lead you to do unthinkable things, things that would lead to scarring. Those things had been put to rest when you found Taeil. He was always there.

Almost as if he had heard you calling out to him, a hand brushes through your hair softly. The soft hand grabs your chin, lifting your head slowly. Taeil is crouching in front of you, his brown eyes soft and caring. He wore a pair of sweats and an oversized sweater, his hair was messy. He'd most likely came from his dorm.

"You weren't answering my calls or messages, I needed to check on you." His voice is soft.

You sit up properly and go to wipe your tears away, Taeil beating you to it as he cups your cheeks with his warm hands and brushes away your tears with his thumbs. He sighs softly as he brings your face closer to his, resting his forehead against yours.

"Why didn't you call me?" He asks.

You look him in the eyes, taking the time to admire his face silently. A purple hue casts across his delicate features from the neon lights outside your apartment from down the street. You raise your shaky hands and place them on top of Taeil's, bringing them down to rest on your lap. Taeil encases your hands with his, worry and hurt flashing through his eyes. "You should have called me."

"I figured you'd be sleeping," you whisper shakily. "I didn't want to disturb you."

"You would never disturb me." Taeil leans forward and rests his head on your shoulder. "I was scared. I thought you'd.."

"I can't anymore. Not when I know how much it'd hurt you." You whisper.

You never wanted to hurt Taeil. You wanted nothing more than to protect him, to help him. But before you could do so you needed to help yourself. Things would get better in time, it was just a matter of reminding yourself that you no longer lived in a world where you had to constantly be on the edge of your seat. Taeil made things better.

"Did you sleep earlier?" Taeil eventually asks, pulling away a little.

You shake your head.

Taeil stands up and helps you underneath the covers, crawling beside you. He allows you to wrap your arms around him and lay your head on his chest. Taeil wraps his arms around you, holding you against him, fearing that if he let you go you would slip away from his finger tips. Your heart was still racing in your chest, but Taeil's presence helped ease it the slightest bit. Taeil's thumb rubs soothing circles on your skin.

"I missed you." You whisper.

Taeil presses a kiss to the top of your head. "I missed you as well."

Your breathing is still a little shaky, Taeil notices this and begins to hum a quiet tune. His chest rumbles as he softly begins to sing to you. His voice is deep yet light all at once, the mellifluous voice calming you as your eyes grow heavy. Taeil was like lavender. He provided you a sense of comfort and helped relieve the stress you felt. He was always there to comfort you. He helped you in ways no one ever could. He loved you just as much as you loved him.