Kpop Imagines |REQUESTS CLOSED|

Chae Hyungwon X Reader

"I am so sorry."

You press your nails into the palms of your hand. Unknowingly your teeth sink into your bottom lip, a lump forming in your throat. Hyungwon reaches over and rests one of his hands on yours, slowly lacing your fingers together in order to prevent you from digging into the palms of your hands.

The doctor stares at the two of you dolefully. Her hair was tied up in a messy pony tail, her glasses resting on top of her head. You feel tears prick at your eyes as she slowly goes over everything. You don't hear a single wors that leaves her mouth. Everything feels as if it has been ripped away from you as you clutch onto Hyungwon's hand, the only thing keeping you tied to reality.

You don't notice that the two of you have left the office until you're in the car. The two of you are silent the ride home. You stare out the window, watching everything pass as you twirl your ring around your finger with a heavy heart. When you finally arrive home you climb out of the car, shutting the door behind you. It was almost as if your body was on autopilot.

"Y/N," Hyungwon murmurs as he follows you.

You shake your head while unlocking the front door. "I don't want to talk about it."

The pain you felt was like none before. Things have always gone the way you've wanted them to. You married at a young age, Hyungwon promising to take care of you and to raise a family with you. But things took a turn of events. The two of you tried for months, never once getting the results you wanted. Eventually you decided to see what the problem was. That was this morning. You'd found out that you were not able to have kids. The pain you felt upon the news of this was numbing, so numbing that all you wanted to do was lie in bed for a bit. To allow yourself to think about your future. It impacted you, harmed you.

Hyungwon himself was in pain. He couldn't believe what the doctor was saying, often turning to you to see your reaction. What he saw was not you. You were a vibrant, beautiful girl who never once allowed the cruel world bring her down. But what he saw was something different. You were devastated. He knew that all you wanted was to have kids, to raise a family. To see your hope diminished, stomped on and set ablaze was heart breaking. Hyungwon wanted nothing more than to make sure you were fine and to reassure you that, no matter what, he would never leave your side. He loved you. He truly did.

There was a weight on your chest as you layed down, it pressed harder each time you breathed in. The ache in your heart was unbearable as you tried to resist the urge to cry. You were alone in the bedroom, having locked the door as soon as you entered, effectively shutting Hyungwon out to prevent having to face your problems. As you stared blankly up at the ceiling you couldn't help but feel bad for those who have lost their children, the pain you felt now could never measure to the pain of a lost child.

Outside, Hyungwon leaned his back against the door, listening. He wanted to be close to you, to hold you, to assure you that things would be okay. But how could he when you locked him out? It was something that you often did. You would push people away for hours, days, sometimes even weeks. You only did it to get your mind right, to wrap your head around something that you just couldn't seem to stomach. The simple thought of never being able to bear a child was heart breaking. Hyungwon was fully aware that you were hurting, but how could you be so ignorant of his feelings on the entire thing? He wanted a family just as badly as you did, so to hear the news was just as shocking for him as it was for you. He just couldn't seem to get his head around it. It killed him to see you so hurt, so heart broken and empty.

The two of you fall asleep in different beds that night.

~

A week passes and you still haven't gathered the courage to leave your bedroom. Hyungwon was busy the entire week with work, not having much time to check in on you.

Nothing felt the same. You were still trying to find a way to cope with it. You tried your best to redirect your attention by starting a new drama series, trying to occupy your mind with other thoughts rather than the negative thoughts. You lose track of time. Things like this always managed to throw you off track. The ache in your heart lifted as time passed, but how could you fully heal for something like this? Never being able to have your own kids was disheartening in a way for you. Hyungwon always worked so hard, and you wanted nothing more than to have a family with him. But you couldn't.

You lie in bed, your hand clutching the TV remote and your phone in the other. You call your mother that night.

~

Hyungwon knocks on the door, pressing his ear against the wood in an attempt to hear through it. "Y/N?" He calls out softly.

He doesn't expect a response, or any movement. What happens next shocks him. You open the door, allowing him inside. Hyungwon enters with a cup of steaming ramyen in his hand. He offers you a comforting smile.

"Hey," he breathes.

You were dressed in a pair of joggers and an oversized t-shirt, you hair wet from a shower. He admires how beautiful you look even without trying.

"I brought you something to eat," he holds the cup towards you.

You take it from him with a greatful smile. "Thank you."

The two of you shift over to the made bed. You slowly begin to the noodles, thankful that Hyungwon had brought them up to you as you had been starving from locking yourself in your shared room all week. You felt guilty for locking Hyungwon out of his own bedroom, but he was always very understanding, and that was something that you loved the most about him. Hyungwon knew your tendency to lock yourself away when something as shocking as this came at you. You would never find anyone else like him.

"Is there anything you want to do tonight?" Hyungwon suddenly asks, leaning back on his arms as he watches you eat.

You glance up from the noodles, shaking your head. "I just want to stay inside, if that's fine with you."

"Of course it is love," Hyungwon smiles.

How could you have been so lucky to find someone like him? You finished eating after a few minutes. You set the cup aside and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. Hyungwon feels satisfied after watching you eat.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" He asks while sitting up straight, reaching around you to grab the remote for the TV.

You rest a hand on his arm, stopping his actions. "I want to talk."

Those four simple words are enough to send a chill down his spine. The thought of you leaving him suddenly floats into his mind and he wants nothing but to envelop you in his arms and never let you go. He shuffles back, studying you. Hyungwon can't decipher the look in your eyes.

"I love you. I really do Hyungwon. And I just wanted to apologize, I knew how much you wanted a family, and every fibre in my being wanted the same, but my body-" before you can finish Hyungwon is tugging you into a tight hug, effectively shutting you up. He buries his face in your hair, inhaling the familiar and comforting scent.

"It's okay. We're going to be okay. We can fight through this, together."

His words tug at your heart. You allow yourself to relax in his strong arms. That night the two of you fall asleep in each other's arms, repeating the same sentimental words over and over. He would never leave you, and you would never leave him. No matter how tough things got, he needed you just as much as you needed him. You would hold onto each other for however long the universe would allow you to, never once letting go.