Wonderland // McFly

Beautiful Girls Are the Loneliest

December 21, 2012 

Today was Harry and Izzy's wedding. 

I was expecting the wedding to be just like Tom and Gi's, but it was actually so different. Everything about it was a lot smaller and more intimate, but just as beautiful all the same. 

Every detail had been thought of so meticulously. From the menus, to the place cards, to the center pieces. There was even a field full of candles that was right outside the large windows the framed the walls at the reception venue. 

I felt so overwhelmed with happiness for them. Don't get me wrong, I felt the same way at Tom's wedding, but Tom and Harry were completely different people. Tom was always a very compassionate person, where as Izzy was the only person that could really bring the soft side of Harry out, without him being embarrassed or trying to hide it. He doesn't mind showing his compassionate side when Izzy is around because she means everything to him. It was written all over his face. 

We had a beautiful meal at the reception and now all the guests stood in a circle around the dance floor as all the lights were turned purple. 

Tom, Gi, Danny, Georgia, Dougie, Lara and I had been separated and I was now stood across the dance floor from them. We'd been able to spend more time together tonight than I was able to spend with them at Tom's wedding because Harry had so many bloody groomsmen that they couldn't stand at the altar with him, so we all sat together in one of the pews closer to the front of the church. I see Danny wave from across the way, and I laugh, waving back. 

"Ladies and gentlemen." The Strictly announcing voice boomed through the DJ speakers. "Dancing the American Smooth, Izzy Judd, and her dance partner, Harry Judd." 

We all erupt in applause as Harry and Izzy made their way through from the corner of the dance floor. They looked beautiful together. Harry was all cleaned up and Izzy looked gorgeous in her dress. And then the music started. 

Wise men say only fools rush in

But I can't help falling in love with you

It was basically the same dance Harry had done for Strictly when he had to perform the American Smooth in the final, but there was something special about him doing it with Izzy. Plus,  I was honestly shocked at how amazingly Izzy could dance. 

Harry picked Izzy up in his arms, doing a big spin around the dance floor, and earning a louder applause from everyone. 

Like a river flows surely to the sea

Darling so it goes

Some things are meant to be

Harry does some spins to the other side of the dance floor before rejoining Izzy. 

Take my hand

Harry kneels down, offering his hand to Izzy. She takes it. 

take my whole life too

For I can't help falling in love with you

Harry spins Izzy around once more before dipping her and giving her a kiss, earning cheers from all the guests, including me. 

When I look up from Harry and Izzy, and look across the way, I see Dougie staring at me, for just a split second before looking away. It was nothing, really.

But it's like I was transported. One minute, I'm at Harry and Izzy's wedding, and the next minute I'm backstage on the Wonderland Tour and Dougie is looking at me from onstage through the purple lights while playing Ultraviolet.  

They start to replay the song, and all the other couples join Harry and Izzy on the dance floor, and I make my way out as quickly as I can. 

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I went outside, onto the deck of the venue near the field of candles.

It's not that I was upset, because I wasn't really. I was just confused. I suppose that's what happens when you're twenty-five and all you're friends are either in stable relationships or getting married. It was some type of quarter life crisis. 

I was happy with myself. I was content on my own. I didn't feel like I needed to be in a relationship to be happy, and I figured I'd meet the perfect person for me when the time was right. 

But sometimes, when things start to get blurry and the years all fade together, and I  feel like I get too close to the beginning again, I wish I could just go back. Just for a minute. Just long enough to be standing in the studio, looking at the four young boys I barely knew. Just long enough to realize what I had.

"Hey." I hear from behind me, and turn to see Tom standing there. "You alright?" 

"Yeah good." I say, genuinely. 

"What are you doing out here?" He asks. 

"Looking at the candles." I motion to the field behind me. 

"Oh...well they're cutting the cake." He says. "Can't have you missing that." I laugh a bit and walk towards him. He puts an arm around me, and we walk back inside. 

When we get back in, and join the others, we all stand around Harry and Izzy cutting the massive white cake in front of them. They were actually having a bit of trouble with it, and they paused half way through to take a photo with their fists raised in the air, as if they were successfully pulling King Arthur's sword out of a rock. It was unlike any wedding cake I'd ever seen. It looked like a mountain of white roses and locks shaped like hearts. 

And there was writing on it in light blue. A McFly lyrics from Lies. 

Back in Wonderland like it was yesterday. 

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