Wonderland // McFly

All the Way to Hell I'll Play

September 29, 2005

Tonight was my date with Liam and I was so excited. I know that we haven't been able to be together a lot lately, but I wanted to make tonight count, so that when I get back from tour our relationship will be stronger than ever.

A couple of nights ago, Liam called me and told me he needed to change the time we go out to seven thirty, which just goes to show how hectic his life is right now. I feel bad. He must be dying for a night off.

I know Liam told me not to get there before seven thirty, but that was just him caring, and I was too excited, and didn't mind waiting outside his flat for him.

He had given me his new address yesterday and I was excited to see it.

I arrived at his door at 7:05 and studied the door and hallways for a while. It was a nice building, that was for sure.

At 7:15, I was almost positive I heard something inside his flat, but had then told myself I was paranoid.

At 7:20 I heard something again, but hoped it was a old air heater, or something along those lines.

At 7:25 I heard a large bang and decided that if there really was a robber in Liam's new home, I couldn't let them just get away.

I'll admit I was a little scared, but I had to do something. If I don't, what does that show about my love for Liam?

I searched under the mat and all around the door for a spare key, but there was nothing. Just as I was about to pick the lock with a hair pin, I decided why not give the door a try.

And of course, it was unlocked.

I slowly made my way inside, not closing the door behind me, incase this was a murderer and I had to make a quick get away.

I heard a sound from down the hall and looked around for a weapon. All I found was the TV remote, but I figured if I have to, I'll chuck it at their head. That'll at least give me a head start.

I made my way down the hallway and felt the fear in the pit of my stomach grow as I was more and more confined. I made my way to a room that was the bathroom, but no one was inside. I turned and made my way farther down the hall.

A door was left slightly open, and I could see a dim light poking out into the hallway from inside.

I slowly pushed the door open, remote ready in my hand, but when I saw what was inside, there was no need for a weapon. I placed the remote down on the desk next to the door, turned around and walked slowly through the apartment.

"Lilly!" I heard Liam yell, then I felt his hand on my shoulder whip me around. "Lilly...I'm so sorry...you have to forgive me...she doesn't mean anything. I love you." He placed a hand on the side of my face, but I just backed away.

"Don't call me." I say. walking out. And I would never walk in that apartment again.

******************************************

I walked back to my flat. I felt like I was going to burst into tears, so I didn't want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to get inside my flat, so that when I cried, no one would see. I dug through my purse looking for my keys and I went through that scale. The scale where you search without looking in your bag for your keys, and then you search while looking, and then you start dumping your things on the floor, and then you realize that you're locked out of your flat.

And that was what made me cry.

I didn't have the dignity to go back to Liam's, crying and ask for my key.