The Last Decision Was Your Last

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March 2, 2009

By some form of a miracle, the boys had created a finished album, and tomorrow we were all heading back to the UK.

It hadn't seemed like the boys were partying less, so I honestly had no clue how the album got done, but luckily it had, so the trip wasn't a complete waste.

I heard the whole album the other day, and it...was interesting. It wasn't bad but it was just something that would have to grow on me, I think. I wasn't worried. The boys had always had songs like that. Trust me, I wasn't exactly thrilled when the boys had written a sexual song about Lindsay Lohan with her name in it. That song definitely had to grow on me.

I felt much less stressed, and I knew Jason and Fletch would feel the same way.

I'm not sure where the boys were now, since it was mid-day, but I decided to take it easy and get ready for the long journey home tomorrow.

I had been folding clothes for what felt like hours and was just about ready to put them in my case when I heard a knock at my bedroom door (yes, I shared the room with Danny again).

"Come in!" I call. The door opens extremely slowly, and just as slowly, and painfully I might add, McFly all file into my room, looking at each other, not saying anything.

Oh please, please just ask if I want to go to the beach or something like that.

"What-" I start.

"We need to talk to you." Harry says, as they all walk closer. Danny even sits on my bed.

"I don't like when you guys do this. Four against one is not fair." I say.

"Lilly. We want you to know we've already spoken to Fletch and Jason about this." Danny says, as if he's about to tell me he killed my brother.

But I don't have a brother. This isn't good.

They all look back and forth between each other, then Tom sighs.

"We're scrapping the album." He says. I'm instantly furious.

"What?" I ask.

"It's not...us. It's not McFly." Dougie says. I couldn't disagree with them, but they've never done something like this before. Going through the entire exhausting process of writing an album just to scrap it? Us, moving immediately after tour and living halfway across the globe for three weeks...for nothing.

"So that's it? You've just given up?" I ask.

"Lilly, artists do this all the time." Harry says.

"It's not giving up. We've made a start." Danny says.

"A start? All you've done is take a step back!"

"Well, not necessarily." Tom says. "We're keeping two songs."

"Wow! Really?" I say, sarcastically. "You've practically got one-seventh of your album done!"

"Lilly, come on." Harry says. "Don't act like this."

"We could be home!" I say.

"We could, but we're not, okay?" Dougie says.

"We thought it would be just like last time, but it just didn't work." Danny says.

"Probably because you've all been partying way too much!" I say.

"Come on, Lil." Harry says.

"Even Jason notices." I reply.

"Listen, we're still going home. McFly is still going to have a fifth album. Jason's coming home too. We just...need a little time." Tom says. "We'll work it out. Alright?"

I look at them. All of them. I can't fight that the album didn't feel like McFly. I feel like, with all the past albums, it always seems like the overall sounds are so different to those before. Room on the Third Floor was nothing like Wonderland, Wonderland was nothing like Motion in the Ocean and Motion in the Ocean was nothing like radio:ACTIVE. But they all had one thing in common that this album didn't have. They were all McFly.

This album wasn't.

I take a breath.

"What songs are you keeping?" I ask, timidly.

"Do you remember End of the World?" Tom asks me. I nod. "That one. And I Need a Woman."

"Don't be mad at us, Lil." Dougie says. "We just need to find what's right."

"The perfect balance of modern pop and what McFly stands for." Harry says.

They were right. pop music has changed a lot since Room on the Third Floor, and while I knew the boys had tons of loyal fans that would support their music no matter what, music was also their job, and to survive in this industry it was always about getting new fans as well as pleasing the existing ones. Finding the balance proved it could be lethal.

So we'll scrap the album. If that's what will help them survive.

//

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