The Advice Column I

Eighty-Seven

Advice Request
This person's crush is dating her best friend and is confused on what to do.

Answered Submission
I can only imagine how hard it must be for you right now. From what you've told us, you're very confused. I would be, too, if I were in your place. I suggest you stop thinking—stop worrying about friendship, your crush, or people in general. Just take a break.

I want you to close your eyes and breathe.

Now, let's get to the point. J must be a great guy, but your so-called "best friend", C, doesn't seem that great. The fact that she's talking behind your back and insulting you says a lot about how much she cares about you—she doesn't care at all.

I know you want to save your friendship, but what's the point when, somewhere deep inside, you know you'll end up hurt again? I think she was talking to J way before you told her about your crush on him, so she told him about you without thinking if it would affect you or not. The thing is, she's probably more loyal to J than she is to you.

If J calls you his best friend, he should respect your feelings for him and NOT talk to you about C. He probably doesn't realize he's hurting you and that his girlfriend isn't treating you right. Even if you talk against her to him, he's not going to believe you, so let him be. Let him find things out on his own, and if he gets hurt in the process, that's okay; he will be fine. If he doesn't realize that, then you know you shouldn't interfere in their relationship unless it is absolutely necessary.

For now, just take a step back, and give your mind and your heart some rest. When you talk to your other best friend, C, keep the J-and-C discussion as short as possible (or not discuss them at all). Divert your mind by focusing on the things you love—just not J.

When you feel good enough, you'll hopefully be able to see things clearly.

Remember, there's nothing wrong in cutting off people who make you feel sad or uncomfortable or who give you negative vibes. Be with the people who appreciate you for being you.

Thank you for reaching out to us!

Eat fried chicken, and stay happy.
The Advice Column Team.