The Advice Column I

Sixty-Six

Advice Request
This person is in a relationship but feels like her partner is not interested anymore.

Answered Submission
Hi,

First of all, thank you for writing to us. We'll try our best to help you. Men usually don't like to talk, while women usually talk a lot—girls even more so. Boys/men, however, tend not to unless extremely driven by something. Both genders have different ways of showing affection and of expressing themselves. Girls like to talk about their feelings, and they want the other person to share their feelings as well. Meanwhile, boys prefer more of a listener approach; they do talk about their feelings but not as much as girls do. Men tend to express themselves through their actions, so that is what you have to look out for. How does he behave when he is around you? Does he try to join hands or put his arm around your shoulder? These are all signs that he is interested in you. It is possible that he may not be avoiding you at all. He may as well be unaware that you feel that way, or he could just be busy with exams or family commitments. You should try talking to him in person, asking him if he would like to hang out, asking how he is doing, listening to him, etc. Don't talk about yourself this time—just listen to him. Sometimes it is better to be more straightforward. I suggest you ask him what his feelings are for you. Tell him you feel that he is avoiding you, and wait for his reply. Like I said, he may have no idea you feel that way, and if he really is avoiding you, then ask him why. After that, you can decide where you want to take this thing you have. In the end, it's all your life and your decisions; we can only guide you so much. Just think clearly about everything. There is a huge chance that you may be overthinking the whole thing. Take care, and we hope you keep smiling!

Love,

The Advice Team