The Advice Column I

Thirty-One

Advice Request
This person is feeling overwhelmed with family and school problems.

Answered Submission
Hello there! I know the situation might make you feel like there's no way out, no light at the end of the tunnel, but fear not. First, just take a deeeeeep breath.

You are not an idiot. It's hard to welcome an unusual change. For you, it's the competition in class. It may make you feel a bit behind, but just think this: there is no such thing as someone being "smart." Everybody is somebody completely different. Everyone has their own special talents, their own personalities, their own (perfect) flaws. That being said, is it right to compare yourself based on others? To answer the question, of course not! Yes, maybe you do feel like an "idiot" (I promise mate, you're not), but that's perfectly okay. This entire experience will only act as a launching pad to your success. Maybe you are falling behind or feel overwhelmed, but school isn't everything. No matter how big of a deal it seems to be right now, this is only step one in an imminent future. Don't fret too much. Yes, focus on your studies. But forget everybody else. You are your own person. Set your own standards, know the grades you want to get. Make your happiness priority.

In terms of your family issue, please, don't fret about it either. In fact, I want you to take an even deeper breath. After that, I want you to find the closest mirror, and SMILE. And after that (last thing I promise), say out loud that's it's going to be okay. Do you want to know why? Because it is.

Parent-child relationships are bound to be strained over time. No matter how drastic the situation, just remember that your mom loves you and only wants the best for you. Right now, there is apparent tension. To start things off correctly, although awkwardly, text your mom every night before you sleep. You can say a quick "I love you." If that is a bit strange for the relationship you two have (no worries, I totally understand), maybe give her a compliment. Even a quick thank you can suffice. The next step is a bit difficult. Every day, or at least every so often, set down your phone and go talk with your mom, or just be in each other's company. Maybe help her wash the dishes if she usually does it, or maybe bake her a batch of cookies. You can even just sit together in silence and watch a cooking show or a house hunting show together. Anything that will require you to be in her company is fine. Slowly, any barrier that stood in your way of communication with her will slowly come down and hopefully make things as they were again.

One more thing? Smile. :)

The Advice Column Team