The Advice Column I

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Advice Request
This person is suffering from a disorder, is an introvert that feels anxious around people (they may have social anxiety), and feels as though their sibling is treated better than they are. They want to leave and "run away" but feel as though they have no place to go to. They also feel like a servant/slave in their own home.

Answered Submission
Millions of people are experiencing the exact same things you are experiencing, and we mean that in all seriousness. Does this mean you should suck it all up and live unhappily? Absolutely not!

Many times, people think they are going through something no one has ever gone through, but that isn't true at all. Many of us have siblings who are the "golden child," and many of us have disorders, whether they be physical, emotional, or mental. Believe it or not, but even I, the one advising you, have numerous disorders; they're so much that I probably can't name them all! Suffering from a disorder does not mean you are less than anyone, nor should it be an obstacle in your life. Rather you should treat it as a challenge. You have the opportunity to find ways to break this barrier in your life to become successful, so experiment different ways to break it down. It definitely won't be easy at all to go through life with a disorder—or any illness at that—but it's definitely possible. Overcome this challenge because you have the opportunity to. This way, you will prove to your parents, sister, the world, and most importantly yourself that you're actually worth a lot more than everyone thought.

If you have the ability to become successful while being challenged, then you have the ability to do almost anything with the right mindset. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. As a matter of fact, once you see how far you have come, you won't compare yourself to anyone anymore because you will realize that just like them, you have the ability to become greater by the day. And if you do continue to compare yourself to them? No problem. Write down your flaws and theirs, and then write down your strengths and then their strengths. Read over what you've written. What will you notice? Just like you have flaws, they do too, and just like you have strengths, they do as well! We all have secrets, so imagine the amount of flaws and weaknesses they are hiding from you! You aren't better than them, and they aren't better than you. You're both unique and wonderful in your own ways!

There is crucial difference between a person who is suffering from social anxiety and a person who is an introvert (and even a person who is shy). An introvert is a person who would rather spend time alone because they simply enjoy doing  so more than spending time with others. A person who suffers from social anxiety, on the other hand, usually finds it very difficult to go out in the public eye because they have a fear of people or social situations; people with social anxiety are usually introverts, but introverts aren't necessarily suffering from social anxiety which is a serious disorder. From what you said, it seems that there's a possible chance that you're actually suffering from social anxiety. In this case, you must overcome this problem. You must make sure that you actually do have this disorder, so visit your doctor as soon as possible and discuss this with them. Don't be afraid to be honest because their job is to help you! Your doctor will probably ask you questions, and after a diagnosis, they'll decide whether you truly do suffer from social anxiety or not. If you do suffer from it, there are many ways you can fix this problem, and here are a few:

—Discuss this problem with your boyfriend and see if he can help you out

—Seek professional help, like visiting a social worker who can help you overcome this problem

—Ask your doctor if they can provide you with as many resources as possible.

It's important to seek aid for social anxiety if it's interfering with your daily life and activities, so we encourage you to visit your doctor as soon as possible. You'll be alright! ☺

Leaving your parents' house is pretty sensitive, but most (if not all) people probably think of dropping everything and running away at one point. It's understandable why, as humans, we'd want to just escape. Depending on where you're from, that may or may not be culturally acceptable. If you come from a country where you're expected to stay living with your parents until marriage, then do just that and completely eliminate the idea of running away. Running away from home usually creates even more problems in the family no matter where you come from. As long as your parents aren't abusive (doesn't necessarily have to be physical), then stay with them and just work the problem out. Don't live with it but fix it instead! We gave you ways to approach your issues, so try your best to overcome all of your problems. The way your parents view you will most likely change. If you come from a country where leaving your parents' house is culturally acceptable as an adult, then we do believe that you have the choice of leaving but not running away. Again, running away usually creates even more problems no matter where you come from! If you were to overcome all of your problems, felt mature enough to move out, and felt ready to be independent, then there's nothing wrong with living on your own, but moving out is completely different from running away. There's nothing wrong with moving out—it's even encouraged in some cultures, but there's definitely many things wrong with running away. The whole point in life is to overcome our problems, not to run away from them. Your parents care about you and so does your sibling, so if you suddenly disappeared out of their lives, it would hurt them a lot. However, if you explained to them that you're ready to live on your own, they'll most likely understand because of your approach. You said you feel like you don't have anywhere to run away to, so what does that mean? Do not leave! Stay at home and face the problem. Let's repeat that again: don't run from the problem; face it! You're strong enough to do it. Trust us. :)

Remember that your boyfriend is on your side. If you ever need help overcoming one of these problems, then call him and ask him for help. You guys can even save up and visit Disneyland together one day! That will relieve some of your stress. Perhaps take your adorable puppy with you? That'd be awesome! You should also consider visiting your baby cousin often. Doing these things will brighten up your mood!

Simply keep in mind that you're parents actually care about you, but they just don't show it. It happens a lot to everyone. Prove to them that you're worthy of their attention by overcoming the barriers in your life and become successful. They'll see how great you are at that point. 💙

We wish you the best of luck in everything,

The Advice Column Team