Wonderland // McFly

Gotta Keep on Running

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I met the boys later for sound check and we were at a standing venue, which I really liked for sound check because it meant I could stand and see and hear things the way the audience would.

I loved the orchestra it added so much to the tour.

The boys had just finished All About You, and it sounded magical with the harp and the violins.

"Hey Lilly! Can I come down and talk to you about my drums quickly?" Harry shouted from the stage when they were done.

"Sure!" I said back. Harry began to make is way down. I don't know why he would talk to me about his drums and not his drum tech, but whatever. He strutted over to me, drum sticks in hand. "What's up?" I ask.

"See that brunette girl closest to the audience playing the violin?" He asked. "What's her name?"

"Brittany." I say. I had the pleasure of meeting all the people in the orchestra a couple of days ago. "She goes by Izzy, though."

"I think she fancies me." He smiles.

"Yeah right." I say. "What makes you think that?"

"She and I always look at each other at this one part in All About You."

"Okay. Is this really what you stopped sound check for?" I ask. He shrugs. "Get back onstage, Judd." He laughs, and jogs back up.

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The show was probably amazing, but to be 100% honest, I wasn't really paying attention. I kept finding myself thinking about Dougie, and every time I did, I would pinch my arm, as if to wake myself up from this weird dream. then, I would try to think about my date with Liam.

After the show, when the crowd was dispersing and the boys went backstage, I stayed and watched the orchestra pack up. I was mystified by their instruments, and couldn't help myself from wishing I played.

I sighed and turned away only for a second before I heard a kind, high pitched voice.

"Lilly?" I hear, and turn around to see Izzy.

"Hi Izzy." I smile.

"Oh thank goodness I got your name right!" She laughed sweetly. "I know I met you the other day, but when I thought of your name as Lilly, I thought I was mixing it up with my name."

"No...well it's actually Lillian." I say.

"I love that." She smiles.

"Thank you. I like your name."

"I don't mind it, but I much prefer being called Izzy over Brittany." She says.

"You're an amazing violinist. It makes me wish I played." I say.

"I could teach you, if you'd like." She smiled.

"That's okay. I don't really think I'd be super musical." I say.

"Well you'll never know if you don't try."

"I suppose you're right...maybe one day." I say.

"If you ever want to, just ask me. I'd be happy to help." I smile at her. "Actually, I had a question for you."

"Sure." I say.

"I know this sounds crazy...because I'm Izzy the violin player but...do you think maybe if I talked to Harry...you know the drummer?" She says.

"Oh yes, I know him all too well." I laugh.

"Do you think maybe I'd have a chance with him? I mean I know it sounds crazy because he is this big star, but...do you think?" She asks. I try to suppress my smile.

"You know, Izzy. Harry is a very...humble guy." I say. Judd better thank me later. "I'm almost positive that he would like you. I happen to know he is very single."

"Really?" She laughs.

"Oh yes."

"Oh, thank you Lilly. I think I'm going to talk to him." She says. I nod and she walks away.

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I run through the narrow hallways backstage trying to find Harry to tell him to meet Izzy when I, literally, bump into Tom.

"Good job, where is Harry?" I say quickly.

"Thanks. And I don't know. I think he said he was trying to find some violinist, or something." He says. "Dougie is in the dressing room looking for you, and just in case you're wondering, Danny is in the shower."

"Thanks." I say, totally forgetting about Harry and Izzy and making my way into the dressing room. When I walk in, Dougie's back is turned to me.

"Dougie?" I ask. He turns around and smiles. "Tom said you were looking for me."

"I just...wanted to say thank you. I don't think I ever did say it...when you helped me the first night." He says.

"It wasn't a big deal. That's what I'm here for."

"It was a big deal for me." He says, looking at the ground and then looking up at me again. "Can I say something personal?" He asks. I nod. "When I first auditioned for McFly, my dad still lived with my mum and my sister and me. The first time I got rejected he said...something like 'what were you expecting? It's not like you would actually get in'...or something like that. I know that the guys believe in me and support me, because they're my best friends, but that was like...the first time someone actually just like full on showed me that this was something I could do...so thank you, Lilly."

I didn't know what to say. Dougie leaving me speechless seemed to be a reoccurring event. Then suddenly, it just started to speak. and I couldn't stop.

"When I was seven years old, my mum and dad and I all got in a car and decided to go to the cinema because it was raining. We all got in the car and all I could think about was what film I wanted to see. I guess this lorry slid on the pavement 'cause it was wet and we crashed into it. My mum and dad died...but I was okay. I didn't have any aunts or uncles because my mum was an only child and my dad's brother died when he was nine because he drowned, or something. My dad's parents were dead, and my mum's dad was dead so I lived with my grandmother in London. When I turned eleven she fell ill and when I was fifteen I had to drop out of school to take care of her. She died six weeks before I got this job...that's why I got this job."

I wasn't crying or anything, because I don't cry that much. But I think this is one of those rare things I would have cried at, if I had been thinking about what I was saying.

Dougie just stood there, and although a small part of me regretted just throwing all my life problems on him, another part of me felt good. All of this stuff that I had just lived with by myself for so long was now shared with another person and I'm glad that other person was Dougie.

"Why did you tell me that?" He asks, quietly after a while. There was probably a million reasons I told Dougie all of that, but at the time, I could only think of one reason. I shrugged.

"Silence is a scary sound." I laughed at myself. But it was a painful laugh.

Dougie just nodded and then he walked forward and hugged me, and I wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could. Because I didn't want him to let me go.

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