Chapter 46: Overthinking Is The Suicide

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46. Overthinking Is The Suicide

It was the beginning of the holiday break. I brought my legs to my chest and wrapped my arms around it while sitting on my bed. Kyle still hadn't spoken to me, and it was driving me crazy. Honestly, I didn't even know if I could talk to him or hear what he had to say. I guess all I wanted was for him to give me some kind of closure.

At least I wasn't crying anymore. I was just...down. I somehow started blaming myself for the incident though. Maybe if I wasn't so confused about my feelings for Shawn I would have given Kyle more attention. But then again, was that an excuse? I mean, if he thought I didn't like him as much anymore wouldn't the reasonable thing to do be sit me down and talk? Trust me I would be finding it a lot easier to get past all of this if he had just broken up with me normally instead of going around kissing other girls.

"Argh!" I groaned and fell back onto my bed.

I was so confused now more than ever. If it hurt this much did that mean I still liked him? Because now Shawn was in the mix.

"Stupid," I mumbled, not sure if I was referring to myself or Kyle.

I sighed and got up. I didn't do it often, but when I did it helped a lot. It was probably starting to freeze outside, but a good walk or run was definetly what I needed to clear my head. I changed out of my pajamas and wore some jogging clothes before exiting the house. I ran out of my neighbourhood and towards the park.

I bent down holding my knees trying to catch my breath. When I was okay I stood up straight again and proceeded to run but bumped into someone. My gaze shifted from the masculine chest I had hit and up to a familiar face.


"Hey," I breathed.

"Coincidence we're both out for a run huh?" he chuckled.

"I guess," I said. "This was the only thing keeping me from my thoughts."

And now you've shown up, so not so much anymore.

He frowned. "You okay?"

I let out a sour chuckle. "I could look you in the eyes and say yes and you still wouldn't believe me, so why ask?"

"Because I'm your friend and I care about you," he replied.

He cares.

Oh snap out of it Khalan!

"Thanks," I said sincerely. "I'll be going now."

He held my arm. "Come with me."

Should I?

I sighed. "Where to?"

"Just come on," he said.

I followed him closely behind till I recognized where we were going. The small building we graffitied sometime ago. I smiled a little at the memory of that day. But wait, what are we doing here?

"Why are we here?" I asked.

"To work stuff out," he simply replied.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as we walked in. It was some kind of personal gym.

"I come here when I need to blow off some steam," he told me. "You've been holding in a lot. Just let it go."

"Well gee Shawn thanks but I don't think I can just turn all of these feelings off," I snapped.

"See, now you're lashing out."

I sighed. "Sorry for that."

He led me to a punching bag and handed me a pair of boxing gloves.

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