CAKE

One Hundred Twenty-Seven

Kathryn 

"I'm ready to get out of Texas."

The statement grabs my attention from the scenery outside to the pregnant brown-skinned woman beside me. Her russet-brown eyes stared down at her phone screen. "And what prompted that?" I question, surprised by her statement.

Cassandra glances up, her gaze meeting mine. "I've been in Texas all my life... I want to have a different scenery, different life... don't you ever think about that?"

I stare at the woman for a bit longer before guiding my attention back to the huge window, exposing the outside world to us. "I guess I've had a thought or two in the past but... I feel like something is keeping me here and I can't take that big of a step to leave," I shrug my shoulders. 

The brown-skinned woman pulled her cup to her lips. "Is it because of my sister?"

I don't bother sparing her a glance, not wanting to entertain her comment. At this point, I will never get away from Casey if I remain friends with her sister and best friend. I return my gaze to the scenery outside, watching couples pass by laughing and talking. Kids playing and skipping around with their friends. 

"What if we go to New York?"

"Huh?" I question the woman as I glance at her once more.

"You're right. New York is too overcrowded and I don't think I could handle the attitude they all somehow magically have in common. Plus it's a bit too pricey. And I feel like Chicago is too unsafe to be considered," Cassandra rambled.

I eye the brown-skinned woman before placing my elbow on the table and putting my chin in my hand. "You know, this is usually a conversation you have with your husband," I inform. Cass lifts her gaze from her phone again, eyes meeting my gaze.

"Are you ever going to get married to Mateo?"

My brows raised in confusion, wondering where this question came from. "I don't know."

"Why not? You have a child with him."

I roll my eyes at her statement. "I had a child with Casey, we're not married."

"Well, no. But you were engaged and if she hadn't left, you two would've gotten married. You've been with Mateo for almost 3 years and you two aren't engaged but you have a child together. I was just a little curious if you'd ever get married."

Sighing, I take a sip of my cold brewed coffee. "Again, I don't know. I can't give you an honest answer. My emotions are... never the same when it comes to that question. One day I'll be all for it then the next, I'm not."

Cassandra hums as she tilts her head. "Maybe... your mind knows he's not marriage material."

I furrow my brows, "What could you possibly mean by that?"

Her russet eyes leave my gaze. "I don't know, do you ever feel like he'd be a terrible husband? You know just not marriage material?"

I shake my head. "No, he wouldn't be a terrible husband. He's sweet and understanding, he never tries to make anything about him, he listens, he's always there for me. The list can go on and on. If we're being honest here, it's me who isn't marriage material."

"Surely that can't be true."

"Isn't it though? I'm insecure and indecisive, I overreact sometimes... most times, I have trauma that I'm not entirely healed from... the list goes on there. Maybe it's not me who doesn't want to get married... what if it's him? I mean... yeah I probably wouldn't say yes but he probably wouldn't propose in the first place."