CAKE

Ninety-Two

Casey

Inhaling and exhaling, I twist the door knob and step into the office belonging to my therapist. Dr. Lin is seated at her desk, typing away on her laptop before her blue eyes land on me. A small smile greets my gaze. "Give me a second and I'll be right with you. You can take a seat," she mutters before her attention is back on her laptop.

Sighing, I close the door behind me before making my way to the couch. I make sure my ringer is off on my phone before pulling my attention away from the device. Lin finishes typing before closing the laptop and standing from her desk.

Grabbing her clipboard, she makes her way over to me, sitting in the sofa chair opposite me. "How are you doing today Casey?" she questions, starting off light, which I appreciated, knowing we'd go into more detail about things in a few minutes. 

"I'm okay, nothing too exciting to tell. How about yourself?"

Lin smiles softly, "I'm fine. I have a date with my wife later today. But that's enough about me, how is your relationship with Mallory going?" The mention of Mallory is enough to put a smile on my face and Dr. Lin takes notice of my reaction.

Clearing my throat, I speak up. "Things with Mallory are going well. We made 2 months a week ago and so far I haven't regretted getting into a romantic relationship with her. I like her a lot," I smile, thinking about spending time with the brown-skinned woman.

Dr. Lin nods her head, taking notes. "And has being with her helped you detour any feelings away from your ex?" I bite my cheek in thought. "Yes and No," I mutter, knowing I'd have to go into more detail about what I meant.

 "Being with Mallory is helping me distract myself from her. I don't think about her as much as I did before. I actually haven't spoken to her in over a month and that fact doesn't bother me too much. But I say no because even if I find ways to distract myself from Kathryn, I know I still have feelings for her. A lot of feelings for her. It still hurts knowing she's in a relationship with someone else and I no longer have an important role in her life."

The brunette nods her head. "And that's okay. It's okay to feel a little stuck in the place you're in, just as long as you work through it and find a solution in the end. Is there anything else you want to share about your relationship with Mallory or your ex today?" she questions, blue eyes on me.

I shake my head, not in the mood to talk about Kathryn too much this time. "Anything but those two would be nice," I mutter softly.

Dr. Lin nods her head as she shifts in her chair. Her blue eyes land on her notes before they lift and meet my gaze. "I am interested in hearing about why you left Texas for two years after the passing of your father and daughter."

Clenching my jaw, I sit up in my chair, knowing it was coming sooner or later. I glance down at my hands as I twiddle my thumbs. Couldn't it have come later? Knowing there was no getting out of it whether I have to talk about it now instead of a few weeks down the line, I clear my throat.

"I left because I," I exhale, not wanting to say it. Therapists have the right to call anyone if they feel their patients can be a threat to themselves and I didn't want her to feel that way. I was well over the I want to die phase. 

My gaze lands on Dr. Lin as she waits for me to continue with my sentence. "Well after the death of my daughter and father... I wanted to commit suicide so I left," I get out. Dark brows raise as Dr. Lin eyes me. Feeling as though she was judging me, I force my gaze back to my hands. I could hear her pen scribbling something on her papers. 

"Okay..." she sighs before continuing.

- - - - -

"I'll see you next week and we can continue this conversation," Dr. Lin mutters as she stands by the door, seeing me out. Smiling awkwardly, I nod my head. Despite never wanting to talk about my two years away from Home, I definitely felt better getting it off my chest.