CAKE

Seventeen

Kathryn 

I can't help but yawn into my fist as Casey helps me up the stairs. "You had fun, right?" she questions, grabbing the keys from her pocket. "Yeah, what about you?" Humming, Casey places a small kiss on my cheek as she unlocks the door, "I wish you could've gotten on a few rides with me but I was satisfied. Today was very nice."

Entering the apartment, I turn towards my lover. Smiling, I eye the woman, "We can go again, once I have Hope." She smiles, placing her hands on my stomach, "I am so excited for our next few months together, you have no idea."

"Don't I? I'm the one giving birth," I chuckle. Casey forces her head away from me as she yawns, closing the door behind us and making sure to lock it. "I mean, yeah. You are just as excited as I am but I don't know how to explain it, I feel a burst of..." she trails looking for the right words.

I nod my head, pulling her towards the room, knowing that with the day we just had, sleep was the answer. "Joy... like how a man feels when his wife is giving birth to his firstborn child, that's how I feel."

I smile at the brown-skinned woman, "Weren't you an English major? Surely you can describe it better than that," I tease, removing her shirt. Casey rolls her pretty brown eyes, "I'm too tired to do anything that requires my brain cells."

"Even if I asked you to make love to me?" I question, teasingly as I push her onto the bed. She hits the mattress, eyes on me hungrily. I can't help but smile at her, shaking my head. "As much as I would love to, we've got something to do tomorrow and I need all the rest I can get," Casey spits, surprising me. 

But she's practically been rejecting sex since I made it to the 2nd to last month in my last trimester. "Are you scared?" I question, climbing on top of the woman. She eyes me before chuckling and shaking her head. "Don't lie to me," I hiss. I watch the woman lick her lips as she placed her hands on my hips, "I'm not scared. I- I just haven't been in the mood."

I frown as I eye Casey a little longer before climbing off of her and crawling to my side of the bed. "Is it because I'm big?" I question, though thinking of her possibly saying yes was hurting me. Casey quickly turned onto her stomach, her eyes landing on me. "What? No, no. Never that," she reassures but nothing else was making sense.

"Are you not attracted to me anymore?" 

The brown-skinned woman furrows her brows as she eyes me. "Kathryn, it's nothing like that. You are very beautiful and I love you so much."

I scoff and glance at her, "It has to be something, Casey. You like sex and you're not trying to have sex with me. That means something's wrong. And if you're saying it's not because I'm big or not because you find me unattractive... Have you cheated on me?"

The woman's face falls as she stares at me. "It hurts that you would even ask something so stupid. The reason I'm not having sex with you, Kathryn is because if you have an orgasm it's possible you'll get contractions. I know you haven't experienced them to tell me if they're as painful as the internet says but I don't want to see you in pain until it's time to give birth to our child."

I force my eyes away from Casey, realizing that it is very stupid of me to question her loyalty to me. Casey has been very loyal to me since we started dating, I have been her one and only and I'm so stupid to question that. "Hey," Casey voices as she kicks her shoes off and climbs into bed next to me.

"I'm not going to lie, I am very upset you would accuse me of doing something that stupid. But I know you doubt yourself a lot and you have this stupid voice in your head telling you that you don't deserve me. Truth is, I don't think I deserve you. I've already hurt you before and you still took me back. I could never hurt you again, now that I know what that pain feels like."