Daily Self Growth Journal Pt. IV

What Shall We Fear

“I know who goes before me, I know who stands behind me, the God of angel armies is always by my side.”  From the song Whom Shall I Fear by Chris Tomlin

So Jesus again said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, I am the door of the sheep.  All who came before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them.  I am the door.  If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture.  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.  I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.  I am the Good Shepherd.  The Good Shepherd lays down His life for the sheep”  John 10:7-11

Hypothecate:  “to put in pledge by delivery, as stocks given as security for a loan.”  Dictionary.com

I’m an idiot!  Just remember that as I tell you this little story.  I’m just an idiot.  So feel free to laugh at me.  Honestly I don’t mind.  I can remember about a year and a half ago I think around late summer 2011, I went to the doctor to see if I could take a certain medication.  Well, in order to take this medication a liver test was required, since it’s pretty harsh on livers.  The test came back with peculiar results, so I made an appointment to talk to my medical provider about it.  As it turned out my liver counts, if you know anything about them, were fairly high.  I think around four times higher than what they should have been.  I know what you’re wondering, and no I don’t do anything that should harm my liver to that extent.  That I know of.  I remember leaving the doctors office with what felt like a question mark over my head.  I wondered if I had cancer, if my liver might be failing, if I had long to live, etc.  I was realizing my mortality, and was wondering my fate.  Whitney and I had started our adoption process not too long before and I wondered if I wasn’t meant to be a dad simply because I didn’t have long to live.  I wondered what would happen to my family if I died.  I took a long walk and enjoyed life.  I went to work and acted normal.  But I drove home in a haze.  I felt like I was getting ready for a trip.  Obviously, that’s been a while ago and I’m still here.  At the time I took a battery of tests and went to see an expert.  Nothing was definitively wrong with me.  I even had a doctor chuckle at my concerns.  Remember I’m an idiot.  But I’m still left with the memory of contemplating the end of my life.  I can tell you this.  We’re not meant to live like that.  Should we be prepared for the end.  Absolutely.  We all have an end coming.  Should we dwell on it.  Definitely not.  If you’re reading this, you have more life to live.  I’m not scared of dying.  But I’m not looking forward to it either.  And if I had to guess I think that’s how God wants it.  He wants us to be ready for whatever His purpose for us is.  For most of us that means living now, going home later.  The cross means that we shouldn’t have to fear death.  That Christ already followed through on His hypothecation for our sins.  That death is just a doorway to life.  However, Jesus also called us to spread His word.  That requires life here and now.  A life He promises to be abundant.  How cool is that?  That we can be joyous in life and hopeful in death.  Death is not what we were designed for.  But God in His wisdom and mercy made it something of Him.  He goes before us and He stands behind us.  What shall we fear?

Daily Journaling Questions:

1.  How did I help someone in kindness today?

2.  What did I learn today?

3.  What am I thankful for?

4.  Who did I love today?

5.  What am I dreaming of?

6.  What about today do I want to remember forever?

7.  What are my goals for tomorrow?

Thanks for reading,

Jake