Fate

Chapter 129

Namjoon's POV
"Mind handing me some fire?"

Kook frowned. "What?"

"Come on, Jungkook. I know you still smoke. Do you have a lighter?"

He still looked confused handing it to me. "I didn't know you still did."

I lit up a cigarette. "Rarely. Never when Mina's here. She despises the smell and she'd know I had one right away."

The corner of his lips rose up. "Lucky she didn't find that pack while she was here."

I shrugged. "She doesn't look into my things without asking." I blew off some smoke. "It's a f*cking bad habit, but the need for it comes back from time to time."

"Argh, mind handing me one?" I did. "You're getting stressed, hyung?"

Couldn't deny that. "I know, I'm the leader of the band, but I'm tired of being the example and doing what is best for everyone else."

He seemed to get it. "You don't want to tour, do you?"

I denied. "I do! It's just a lot of places and dates. I understand ARMY didn't see us in a while, but I enjoy the smaller stages and calmer energy of the concerts I did. You enjoy the kpop stage and high energy of it all, but I think I'm elsewhere."

He leaned against the railing. "You know what Yoongi hyung would say?" I waited for his answer, even if I knew it. "It showed even before you left for the military." It wasn't what I expected. "HYBE had been on your back to do music that'd work in the West. You didn't care much for that. The other hyungs either. I think Jimin, Tae hyung and I do enjoy Western pop and its vibe, you know? But we can't deny that more western fans weren't enjoying the last comebacks since we came back to the basics. Didn't you like the music you made?"

I nodded. "I do like it. I would not have handed that if I didn't like it. I want to be a human. Hoseok made me think. I don't want to walk on eggshells and hide myself and my relationship. I don't want to have to marry in secret because it will create issues. Imagine how it'll explode when people find out?" I sighed. "I knew the long distance would be hard, but I don't feel it's as hard on her as it is on me."

He seemed curious. "Why would you say that? We're busy and they're too out there. Time passes by fast."

I took another cigarette out. "It's not that." I lit it up. "We keep in touch all the time." I smiled thinking of the books. "As much as we can, at least. It's more because she's in our industry. When I see groups performe with dancers, I think about how she'd like to do this one over another and how she'd add her twist on it." I had to admit. "I found someone that questions my beliefs for me to get a better understanding of them, not necessarily discredit them. It makes me write lyrics I don't think the company wants or that I don't want to share."

He stole the lighter from me. "That's enough hyung. We can't ruin our voices before the tour. I can understand how you think she's missing out, but I think she's smart enough to tell you so. We have a bit of a double life, so does she, but I haven't heard any complaints, so you shouldn't worry too much." He grinned. "Got a song for me?"

He made me laugh. "I literally have a mini album for some of you, but they're for you only. I have a few I'm selling out of our circle, but I keep the best for myself."

"What is she up to?"

"An interview for her book release. I'm waiting for it to be online so I can have the subtitles." I bit my inner cheek. "Can't believe I'm saying that."

"Weird to hear them speak French when we weren't in the room isn't it?" He laughed. "Maybe she'll have an English one."

Nah. It wasn't that. She was learning Japanese. She knew French, English, Korean and American sign language. "I should learn French."