CAKE

One Hundred-Fourteen

My excitement is quickly thrown out the door as knocking is heard on my window. I quickly glance to my left, spotting none other than the blue-eyed blonde I was hoping to avoid. There she stands eyeing me in disappointment.

Groaning, I reach into the passenger seat and grab my purse before shutting the truck off and exiting the vehicle.

"Are you seriously trying to avoid me?" she questions, displeased with me.

I can't help but roll my eyes. "What did you expect Emily? People fight and they avoid and ignore. We would've been fine a week later, who knows maybe I would've moved on," I spit.

The woman sighs as she closes my door and trails behind me. "I had time to think about our talk. And I have no reason to apologize because everything I said was right. But you said something that hit and I want to talk about it."

"Well, in case you haven't noticed, Emily, I am not in the talking mood. With you, anyway."

In annoyance, Emily grabs my arm and forces me to spin around and acknowledge her. "I--" she pauses, unable to swallow her pride. Rolling my eyes, I scoff and pull away from the blonde. "I'm not in the mood to hear some half-assed apology. You were right, okay? So drop it. I don't want to talk about it. Not with you. You've been kind of a shitty friend for the past few years."

"Kathryn."

"Emily Ava Evans shut up!" I spit before turning my back to her and entering the school building. Letting out a breath as I stepped into the school building, all I could hope for was a decent day for the first day of the semester. 

When lunch rolled around, I wasn't surprised to find my blonde blue-eyed best friend standing at my classroom door as students filed out of the class. I let out a breath and began gathering my things for lunch. Whatever plan I had was quickly thrown out the door as Emily stepped into the room and closed the door behind her.

Letting out yet another breath, I try to keep my eyes away from her. 

"Kathryn,"  she muttered, wanting to handle the situation before it escalated. We both knew I was petty and could hold a grudge for a while. "You're not acting very mature about this entire situation. I have been your best friend for years... 30 years to be exact. I don't want a stupid argument to destroy our relationship. I'm trying to apologize here."

Frowning, I glance at the blonde. "For what? You were right. I haven't been the best girlfriend and if I knew I didn't want to be with him, I shouldn't have let myself get pregnant with his... child. I can't move on even though everyone knows Casey has been doing that since she's been back. There's nothing to apologize for Emily. I'm upset because you're right."

Emily sighs as she takes a step closer. "I am. But I want to apologize to you because you were right too. I haven't been the best... best friend you've needed for the past few years. Forcing you into relationships you didn't want to be in, trying to make you someone you're not," she mutters.

I watch the blonde lick and part her lips as she blinks slowly. "I hated... I still hate the fact that Casey knows you better than I do and we've been friends since before she was born. I'm jealous of the relationship you have with her even after being broken up for 3 years and 2 months. I don't hate her, I just hate how much you depend on her."

- - - - -

My eyes lift as the door to Dr. Lin's office opens and her previous patient exits. I could only feel a little nervous about today's session. A lot has happened from the last time I came to now. I knew I'd have to talk about my episode as well as the new boundaries Casey has implemented to prioritize her relationship. And now, I'd have to talk about the bomb Em just dropped on me.

Letting out a breath, I pull my phone out of my purse and check for messages. I'm not surprised to see a message from Mateo. Smiling, I open it.

Mi amor: Hey love, I hope you had a great day today. I know the semester just started so I won't bother you too much this week but I'll be back by your place Thursday after work, if you're okay with that

I sent a text back before my head lifted from the phone screen as my name was called. My eyes immediately land on Dr. Lin Marcus. She offers a small smile as I stand and make my way toward her.

"Good afternoon Kathryn, I haven't seen you in a while," she muttered as I stepped into her office. I smile guiltily. "Yeah... a lot has happened. But it's the beginning of the school semester and I know I'll need these sessions more than anything," I mutter honestly.

She nods her head, telling me to sit as she grabs her clipboard from her desk. "Well, the floor is yours."

Smiling, I nod my head. "From the last time I saw you til now, a lot has happened in my life. For starters, I told my boyfriend that I was still in love with my ex-fiance," I let out before glancing at them.

Lin picks her head up, her blue eyes landing on me as if to ask if I was serious or not. I clear my throat and pull my eyes away from the woman. "He avoided me for a few days until eventually, we made up. And then I confessed to my family that I was pregnant," I chuckle.

God, there's so much drama in my life. "Does that include Casey? You told her as well?" she questions.

I nod my head, "Casey knew before everyone else. She was the most understanding one out of everyone. Told me she supported me, it kind of hurt. I wanted her to get angry or sad or something other than be a supportive friend."

"And you felt that way because... you are still in love with her?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," Lin mutters before I hear her pen scribble something in her notes. I don't allow it to bother me as I continue. "I had a major episode a week ago. I... caused harm to my boyfriend and Casey. Luckily none of their scars required stitches or a hospital visit so that calms me a little."

"And from what I remember you suffer from Dissociative Identity Disorder, correct?" I purse my lips and nod my head. "Mateo told me there was someone else. His name's Ryan. He's new to me. We're not the same age."

Her pen moves across the paper, echoing off the four walls of her office and irritating me. "I don't want to focus on any of those things, though. I want to focus on moving on from Casey. I find it impossible for me to do that. But I want to. She's... she loves someone else," I spit, upset it's easy for her to move on, while I struggle to.

Dr. Lin stops writing. "After I had my episode she came to talk to me. And she told me she needed to prioritize her relationship with her girlfriend and for the first time in 3 years, it felt like she had finally broken up with me. It hurt, it hurts. I try not to show it but it hurts a lot. I don't want her to break up with me. I think it's unfair. It's unfair. It's so easy for her and I think that's so fucking unfair. She's hurt me time and time again and she's the one who gets to move on... that's unfair," I spit as tears well in my eyes.

Sniffing, I lift my hand and wipe my eyes, not wanting to cry in front of my therapist.

"I have a good boyfriend, he's great to me and I can't even allow myself to accept his love. Lin, I have to move on. I don't want to be stuck in the past. I have to, he deserves better from me and I can't give that to him because it's hard. It's impossible. Casey is the love of my life... and everyone's asking me to do something impossible. I tried. I have tried. It's impossible."

Tears continue to stain my cheeks as I tell my therapist what I want.

I want to do the impossible. I want to move on.

A/N: I'm on time! Guys, I'm on time! Also, I keep getting something wrong. In a previous chapter, it says Casey and Kathryn have been apart for 3 years and 8 months but that is in fact, very incorrect. It has only been 3 years and 2 months since they've been broken up. The 8 months comes from how long Kathryn and Mateo have been together and I keep mixing that up (They've been together for 1 year and 8 months).

Stay Gay! 🏳‍🌈

~UD ❤