Muggle Studies

Definitely NOT a cravat

Is it Severus's birthday again already?

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It was still dark; Severus got up to leave and started getting dressed.

"Hey, you." Nay called sleepily from the bed. "Com'ere a second."

He didn't like waking her. It was enough to have one of them awake at this ungodly hour; it didn't make sense for both of them to go through this. Yet it was nice to get to say goodbye before leaving.

He seemed really sleepy too. He went to her, stumbling. She pulled him into a kiss and a hug.

So nice. He had to resist the urge to just give in and sleep in her arms, drowning in her scent, until it was time to work.

"Happy birthday," she said, snuggling close.

He froze. Oh, yes. That. Just like her to remember that before even he did. Just like her to make even that feel good.

"Thank you." He smiled and kissed her head.

She let him go.

"See you at breakfast." He said, inhaling into her head.

"Mmm-mmm." Nay answered, already drifting back to sleep.

She was so beautiful as he stepped out to the balcony with his broom in his hand. A mess of hair and smooth skin, the memory of her warmth contrasting with the sharp bite of the winter chill where he now stood, outside.

He missed her already. It was crazy, but he did.

----------

She came to see him during morning recess and gave him an envelope.

"What's this now?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at her.

"Your present. Not a cravat." She said, laughing.

He felt a sting of guilt and shame at that.

"I quite liked that cravat." He said, looking briefly at the door before pulling her into a kiss.

Nay rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right."

"I did. Seriously. I just haven't found an appropriate moment to wear it." He said.

She shrugged in disbelief. He sighed. There was a pause.

He wanted to tell her... except there was - again - the fear of how she might react to his being so deeply fucked up.

He braced and just let it out.

He looked down, then said, "I must have put it on and taken it off over a hundred times by now." Then his eyes rose to meet hers again, seeming anxious for her reaction.

There it was.

There was silence as Nay absorbed the information. She was touched.

"You don't have to wear it, my love. It's a present, not an obligation." She took his hand.

She didn't get it.

He lowered his head, sighing, waved his wand and the door shut. She now hugged him and kissed his chin, worried.

"I want to wear it, Nay. Very much." He said, holding her. "But these things are... difficult... for me."

Was that clear enough now? It seemed to be.

"Oh. I see." She said, finally understanding what he meant.

He seemed quite embarrassed by that; it was endearing that he would be willing to tell her about it.