I Hoped You Weren't Alive At Times ✓

Ch 122

19.1 Kal And Lou (1)
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That day at Lasortio, even for a moment, Karloi couldn't decide whether he should think it was a good thing that he had seen Lilian, or whether he should regret it. It was good to see Lilian getting better. And he also thought it was a good thing Lilian didn't see him.

However, the face he had seen for a while got stuck like a thorn and tormented him. The desire to see her more properly and closer shook him relentlessly. In between these gaps, Karloi grew so thin, like an artificial flower, like a colorful Rituna without fragrance.

The ignorant people thought that he was becoming more and more impeccable, but in reality, his kernel was already dead.

He has the obsession to live, the instinct to want to end it by dying, and the longing to see Lilian while having a reason not to see her. In the midst of this, he spent each day, and when he felt he's going crazy, he thought of Lilian's smile. Lilian is fine now, so he remembered that he must live too.

Nothing could erase the regrets about why it couldn't be him that could make Lilian laugh... The thought that this kind of life would go on without end was just far-fetched.

Karloi struggled to erase his thoughts. He tried to force Lilian, who controlled everything in him, out of his mind, and focused on Alexis in front of him.

"They must have acquired a new land, and it seems like they want to sell the conquered land to us, but there is no need to buy it. Aside from being suspicious of its quality, Mach looks too impatient."

"The conquest war is more expensive than I thought, but I don't think it's a good idea. So you're saying you won't take it at all?"

"Those are not necessary for Croysen. After all, isn't it an exotic luxury? I think Mach is just bored, but I'd better turn its attention to Bernie. I'm sure you'll find a way to negotiate."

"I was going to tell you otherwise... I don't think it's going to be easy for me to go to Mach."

Karloi raised his head for the first time in response to the reply. Mach kept asking for him to visit, so he was going to send Alexis instead, but suddenly he knew what this meant.

"Why can't you go?"

"It's hard because I'm old."

For some reason, he felt like she was just returning what he had said. Karloi frowned.

"Are you telling me to accept that?"

"It's the truth. It's too far to go to Mach. Aren't you supposed to get on a boat?"

"If it's not you, then..."

"Your Majesty must go. This time, the theme of the meeting has changed a bit, so it would be better for Your Majesty to go and see it in person."

Karloi's haggard face looked more tired. Karloi didn't like Mach. Alexis felt sorry for a moment, but then changed her mind. After all, Karloi didn't really like anything in the world. It wasn't new at all.

She thought about whether it would be better to say honestly that Lilian is in Mach, but she also thought it would be better not to. She would only get tired of him saying he didn't deserve to go.

Karloi just knew that Lilian was now staying at the private residence of the Viscountess in the countryside of Sorta. He didn't even ask exactly where. He only told them to give moderate help and let him know only when something happens.

Alexis realized that Karloi should rather not know. Is it because she thinks he will visit the Empress without realizing it?

"Please go there at least once."