I Hoped You Weren't Alive At Times ✓

Ch 100

15.8 The Empress Hates The Emperor (1)
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"Half the time, I thought you were supposed to come. I was wondering when you'd keep your promise. No, I just wanted to think that you will keep it. It's stupid for me to think about it now. That's the only thing I have to lean on here then. But in actuality, I didn't expect your promises to be kept."

Karloi, who knew better than anyone what the promise was, bit his lips.

"I'm the crazy b*tch. I hate crawling in the garden so much, but... Damn, I still did that. Without pride."

"I'm sorry..."

"I'm sick of it."

It was a really sickening tone.

"I... What can I do..."

Lilian relentlessly cuts off Karloi, who continues his stammering words.

"What can I do for you?"

As if she was really thinking, Lilian had no answer for a long time.

"What can you do for me?... Are you sure you don't understand?"

Karloi managed to look up at Lilian, gathering a bit of courage. A softer look was looking down at him than he thought.

"Whether you're dead or invisible to me."

That was what he said to her one day. Lilian's face, looking down at Karloi, quickly became expressionless.

"How could I remember all these words? You must think I'm a terrible woman."

"No, never."

"By the way, Kal..."

Her way of calling his name he hadn't heard in a long time, was worse than not being called.

"I don't want to remember that... Really, it's not like that. It just repeats itself when I'm trying to forget. In my dream, in my head..."

Karloi's face was filled with despair without a break.

"That's why I'm annoyed with your face. When you say you want to die, your face really does look like you're going to die right now."

"I..."

"Yes, you will die whenever I wish. You'll die so easily. That's the easy way to go. Throwing your life away. Even that is easy for you."

Tears eventually fell from Lilian's eyes, who was speaking harshly.

"So don't die. Let's make both of us comfortable."

It wasn't like that. Karloi just thought that his existence would just bother Lilian.

He thought. He wonders if there is a way to die hard rather than die easily. There's no need for Lilian to see his petty life being taken away... Where she can't see...

Perhaps she read his thoughts, Lilian put her hand on his cheek. It wasn't until he saw her hand wet that Karloi realized he was crying again disgustingly.

"If you don't want me to suffer, Kal..."

It was a very gentle tone as if asking for a favor.

"You can kill me, you know."

Karloi's heart dropped heavily.

"I will truly... Thank you. I don't even mean to bother you. I'm not saying this because I don't like you. But you're the only one who can do me this favor."

The only time Lilian didn't show her hate to him was when she asked him to kill herself. So well felt that it was genuine that Karloi eventually buried his face in Lilian's lap and begged. 'I'm sorry, I just can't do that.'